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At the end of an emotionally abusive relationship, you might feel burdened with inconclusive thoughts and overwhelming emotions. And this is absolutely acceptable. While your friends and family feel thankful for your break-up, they may not be able to understand the emotional turmoil going inside your heart and brain. But you should not carry on with toxic relationship

Let’s look at the end of an abusive relationship from the following aspects:

Mental and Emotional Health

Post being dumped by the person whom you considered to be your one and only soul mate, you might go through a roller coaster of emotions. The symptoms are often similar to that of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
There might not be any visible scars to make it obvious that you are hurt, but the pain is similar to that of a physical injury.
You might even show obsessive behaviour, where you constantly think about your ex, your break up.
The more the covert these symptoms are, the more damage it can do to your emotional stability and the ability to overcome the trauma.

Attachment or Addiction?

When two people part their ways in a healthy way, they may feel hurt, but it does not take a psychological toll on the two persons involved. They eventually move on as a practical approach was followed to end the relationship. But in an emotionally abusive relationship, the break up isn’t as clean, rather the abuser is manipulative.
The victim might not recognize signs and develop an emotional attachment towards them.
You might re-run the events from your relationship in your mind several times throughout the day or read the old conversations.
Being with a person becomes addictive over a period of time, like an unhealthy attachment. It might seem normal and justified to the victim, but this really hampers their emotional well-being.

Moving on!

The first step to moving on is to accept your situation. A few things that you could do to overcome such a relationship are:

Take care of your emotions

Repairing your emotions requires great efforts. When you get abandoned by someone you are so addicted to, it affects your self-esteem negatively. You can feel used and discarded, angry and isolated. Instead of suppressing and being a home to them, it is very important that you accept and acknowledge your emotions. Recognize how you feel. You can make a journal about the same. If you feel like crying or screaming, do that.

Pen it down

At times it might be difficult for you to talk about your broken relationship and what all you went through in that. But it is important to express in order to heal. To start with, you can keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions, gradually opening up about it verbally.

Confide in Close ones

You can always count on your close friends and families when you feel the need to. Surround yourself with people. Avoid isolating yourself with your thoughts all the time.

Cut-off contact with the abuser

You need to cut off the contact with your ex. Being vulnerable might drag you to his doors, but this would be unhealthy. It is important to maintain a distance when you part ways with your abuser. You may feel a pull towards him, but remember it is unhealthy for your mental health if you remain connected to him.

Do not stalk

It may seem like a nice idea to keep a tab on your ex by stalking him on social media or keeping in touch with his friends. But this is not ideal. You must focus investing your time and energy on yourself rather than knowing about his whereabouts.

Postpone important decisions

In the times, when you are emotionally unstable it is better to not make any important life decisions, which may affect your future. Let yourself feel and heal for some time first.

Practice patience

For a physical injury to heal there is always a defined set of medicines and treatment method that one follows and gets okay. But for an emotional setback, you need to give yourself time. Every person takes their own time to get out of an emotional difficulty. Focus on your progress.

Seek Help

If your emotions are way out of control and are hindering with your daily life, you should seek for some professional help. In the times, when we are vulnerable, we might not be in the right state of mind to be emotionally efficient. A bit of advice about situation and lifestyle changes by a professional can prove to be of great help.

Are you in a healthy relationship? Have you been a victim of emotional abuse?

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September 06, 2018, will mark an important day for the LGBT community in India. The Supreme Court of India abolished Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code (IPC).  This law came into effect in the year 1982. It stated that the carnal intercourse against the order of nature with man, woman or animal was punishable with imprisonment of a lifetime or at least 10 years of jail, with or without fine.

Today’s judgment symbolizes the beginning of unbiased treatment for the LGBTQ community in our country. For a very long time, the community has been harassed and struggled. They had been treated as the discarded sections, always. But the decision of abolishing Section 377 is a huge initiation in terms of equality.

Chief justice Dipak Misra and Justices DY Chandrachud, AM Khanwilkar, Indu Malhotra, and Rohinton Fali Nariman decreed that LGBTQ community will now have the same sexual rights just like everyone else.

The Journey

In 2009, Delhi High court had declared that any consensual sexual act between homosexuals in private is not illegal. But later, Justice G S Singhvi did not validate the decision and said that it is on the members of Parliament to make any decision on the topic.

However, in April 2014, the Supreme Court suggested the government to declare transgender as the third sex and should be able to practice all the rights under the law and also asked the community in the OBC category. Naz Foundation in April 2016 filed a petition and the Chief Justice, TS Thakur decided to review the same along with a constitutional bench of 5 other members.

The Verdict

Finally, following the small steps over the time, here is the decision, taken for the welfare of the LGBTQ community. From the common man to the United Nations, everyone is praising the decision. There is a wave of happiness all over the country.

The Psychological Benefits of the verdict

The verdict is the right step in the direction of equality as there will be no victimization or labelling of any alternate sexuality. This might not end discrimination totally, but this will open the doors of acceptance for people of the LGBT community. The harassment and blackmailing of the gay people will stop, which had actually been one of the major reasons in the past for them to remain in the closet. The homosexuals who married the opposite sex due to the stigma can come out now, ending their unhappy marriages.

Accepting others for who they are is the biggest support one can give each other. Sexuality is not an acquired trait, its very much natural.

All the protests and demonstrations finally end in a fruitful result. From here on, there will be hearts full of love and heads held up high with pride.

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What are the Personality Disorders?

You would be suffering from a Personality Disorder if you have unhealthy and rigid patterns of Thinking, behaving and functioning. It is difficult to diagnose if you have a personality disorder because the way you behave and think is very natural to you. Since,You often find that the problems you have to face are due to other people around you and not due to your specific actions. Hence,You find it difficult to adjust to your work and interpersonal relationships.

These are relatively permanent patterns in the way you behave and experience inner emotions. The pattern is seen in areas of your thoughts, emotions, interpersonal functioning and impulse management.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder(NPD)?

The classic description of NPD in one word is the pattern of “Grandiosity”, either in behavior or fantasy. You will have a longing desire for admiration from everyone and a complete absence of empathy towards other people. If you suffer from NPD, you will have an unshakable belief about your being of primary importance to anyone and everyone you meet.

People with NPD  generally have patronizing and snobbish attitudes. If you find yourself or a friend of yours complain about most of the people around themselves and finds faults about them; It could be an indication of NPD.

People with this Personality disorder believe that they are superior or special and like to bond with others who they believe are unique and special. When they associate with special people,their self-esteem is boosted, which is generally fragile in their cases. In addition,people with NPD cannot stand criticism or rejection in any form.

Specific symptoms of NPD

• You feel yourself to be “Very Important”
• Fantasizing about power, success, beauty, ideal romance or Intelligence
• You believe yourself to be unique and hence can only be understood by a few special people
• Need constant admiration and attention from others
• You always have unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment from others
•  Do not hesitate to take advantage of others to reach your goals
• You have no empathy for the feelings of other people
•  Think others are jealous of you and You are jealous of others
• You always show an arrogant attitude and behavior

Possible causes and Treatment

The cause of NPD, like most of the personality disorders, are not very clear and absolute;However, But both genetic and environmental factors are responsible for the development of this condition. Early life experiences play a major role.

Hence, Treatment of NPD is difficult due to the pervasive underlying low self-esteem and hence the defensiveness and projected grandiosity. Also, It is very difficult for such people to acknowledge vulnerability. Although, Individual Therapy and Group Therapy can help them in relating to others in a more empathetic way and understand their patterns of behavior.

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Telepathy is a phenomenon under the broad Umbrella term of Extrasensory Perception(ESP) as defined in Parapsychology.

Clairvoyance, clairaudience,  are similar to the phenomenon of Telepathy.

Telepathy is communication of a message from one mind to another without any medium. For example, you get a call from a friend the moment you think of him; Though you were out of touch with him since long. This is beyond your learned knowledge and intellect.

Research cannot establish the occurrence of  Telepathy; but science has confirmed that you are made up of frequencies, vibrations, and molecules. Your frequency can be transmitted to another person provided you have shared a physical space at some point in your life.

It is not possible to measure, control or observe an event like Telepathy and hence the limitation in Research.

These could be some of the possible explanations of Telepathy:

• You have Neurons in your brain, called Mirror neurons which act as mirrors;  hence you would have noticed some people can read other people’s mind better. Research has shown that you can even understand the emotions and intentions of the other person automatically. If you have higher levels of oxytocin, the chances are that you would be better at understanding and reading these social cues.

• Research in this area has also demonstrated that you might be more Telepathic than your friend. A brain-imaging study done on a Telepathic person’s brain showed more activation in the right parahippocampal gyrus(Area of the brain).
• The more dopamine you have in your brain, the greater are the chances of unfounded beliefs ( this is not an indicator of any pathology). Studies have indicated a genetic difference in dopamine transmission of Telepathic people.

Although, we do not have any substantial research in this area, It is interesting enough to explore and know more about Telepathy.

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Art therapy is a modern form of therapy.  It replaces the traditional therapy model by making use of imaginative structures. It is generally combined with other forms of psychotherapy. Although more beneficial for children, especially those who have trouble expressing their emotions, art therapy can be used with adults as well. Everyone can be creative in some form or the other. Therefore, what art therapy aims to do is, provide people the opportunity to think and act creatively. For this purpose, it uses a variety of modalities such as clay, paint, paper, color pencils etc.

It has the following benefits –

• Self-exploration: Art therapy offers a means of catharsis, by providing an insight into feelings that one might not have been previously aware of.
• Self-worth: The entire process (creative and analytical) involved in the creation of an artwork and then seeing a tangible end product provides a sense of fulfillment.
• Empowerment: Art therapy allows one to express one’s emotions and fears that one might not have been able to verbally. Thus, by allowing a sense of control over one’s feelings, it provides a sense of empowerment.
• Brain connectivity and plasticity: By encouraging creative thinking, art therapy simulates the process of creation of new pathways in your brain.
• Stress buster: Artistic and creative activities help you forget your problems and calm down. It provides you a mental escape and helps you connect with yourself better.

• Mental health: Art therapy improves the mental health of people suffering from other illnesses or traumatic experiences as well. Art therapy has benefits for – cancer patients; survivors of violence; substance abuser and addicts; people suffering from anxiety, depression, PTSD, bipolar disorder, and other emotional issues. It also helps people deal with relationship issues.
• Rapport Formation: It serves as a great tool for ice breaking, especially with children.

Psychologist is explain more about the Art therapy

Art therapy is not a tool for aiding healing, but an instrument for promoting mental well-being.

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What is an eating disorder?

Unlike the popular notion, eating disorders are not a form of extreme dieting or a lifestyle choice. Instead, they are a serious mental disorder which often has fatalistic consequences (mental disorder with highest mortality rate). An eating disorder is characterized by unhealthy and abnormal eating practices that as a result have an adverse impact on one’s mental and physical health. Over 70 million people worldwide suffer from some form of eating disorder during their lifetime. With its onset usually during adolescence, the disorder is found to be more prevalent among women than men.

Types of eating disorders

There are three types of eating disorders:

1. Anorexia nervosa – this disorder is characterized by extreme restriction of one’s food intake, often to the extent of starving oneself. Symptoms include:

• Extremely restricted eating
• Emaciation due to an unwillingness to maintain a normal body weight
• Distorted body image
• Intense fear of weight gain

  

2. Bulimia nervosa – people suffering from this order engage in regular episodes of binge eating, which they follow up with compensatory behaviors. Binge eating involves consuming large quantities of food in a short span due to a loss of self-control. Compensatory behaviors include actions taken to control one’s weight after binge eating, such as self-induced vomiting, use of laxatives or diuretics, fasting, excessive exercising, and use of other drugs. Symptoms include:

• Recurrent episodes of binge eating and consequently engaging compensatory behaviors
• Distorted body image and preoccupation with eating and body weight

  

3. Binge eating disorder – people suffering from this disorder engage in recurrent episodes of binge eating. However, unlike bulimia nervosa, people suffering from this disorder do not engage in compensatory behaviors. Thus, people with this disorder are often found to be obese. Symptoms include:

• Eating large amounts of food in a short span of time
• Consuming food in spite of feeling full
• Eating even when you are not feeling hungry
• Eating secretly in order to avoid the embarrassment of people noticing how much one is eating
• Feeling depressed, guilty, and disgusted with oneself after eating

Causes

Eating disorders can be a result of temperamental, genetic, physiological, and environmental factors. Risk factors thus include:

• Individuals suffering from depression, anxiety disorders or obsessional traits
• Individuals with low self-esteem
• Body image dissatisfaction
• Cultures, or professions that value thinness
• A first-degree biological relative suffering from the disorder
• Childhood sexual or physical abuse
• Internalization of an ideal appearance
• Childhood obesity
• Early pubertal maturation

Treatment

Based on an individual’s need, treatment plans can be tailored using any one or a combination of the following methods:

• Psychotherapy
• Medication
• Nutritional counseling and monitoring

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Do you end up pushing your work to the extent that you have a pile of work to do at the last minute? Then you probably are a procrastinator.

Procrastination differs from laziness. While laziness is a passive process that suggests inactivity and unwillingness to act, procrastination is an active process that involves delaying tasks that are although important, are perceived as being difficult on unpleasant in nature. Lack of self-control and fear of being unable to accomplish the task as per one’s expectations are major reasons behind procrastinating. While we all procrastinate at some point, excessive procrastination can lead to feelings of guilt and anxiety, and worse, affect the quality of our performance.

Thus, in order to control this behavior, one can follow the below-mentioned tips

1. Make a list of all the tasks that need to be done in a day in order of their priority.

   

2. Create a daily timetable and stick to it. Assign deadlines to each task.
3. Break a big task into smaller more manageable units.
4. Organize your workspace.
5. Force yourself to do tasks that you find unpleasant or difficult. Once you accomplish these, other tasks will seem like a cake-walk to you. This will even motivate you more to work on them.
6. Think of the positive consequences of accomplishing a task and use it as an incentive to work.
7. Use visual cues (such as sticky notes) to serve as a constant reminder of pending tasks.

   

8. Reward yourself for completing your set target.
9. Work at a time and place that best suits you i.e. when your level of concentration and productivity is the highest.
10. Set realistic goals and standards of accomplishment; do not aim for perfection.
11. Rather than focusing on how long it will take to complete a task, focus on starting working on the task.
12. Take breaks at regular intervals.
13. Tell people around you about the tasks aligned ahead of you. Their repeatedly enquiring you about your status on the task will not only serve as a reminder but will also build pressure on you.
14. Identify ways in which you procrastinate and take measures to eradicate these.
15. Indulge in positive self-talk rather than blaming yourself for not having accomplished a task. Blaming oneself may lead to feelings of guilt, and consequently procrastinating the task further or giving it up altogether.

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Everyone wants to be more intelligent. All of us want to charm our bosses and peers by appearing more intelligent than them. In a scientific research, it is shown that our way of speaking and how we appear, increases the perception of others and finds the person  intelligent. here some tips to increase intelligence

Thus, below are few ways to appear more intelligent:

The First Impression:

The first impression is very important. A study shows that people most of the time making assumptions about the other within first 11 seconds of meeting. Thus, it is important to pay attention to how you look. The more clothes you wear the more it is easier for the other person to notice your mind rather than your body. Thus, appearance plays a very big role in the first impression.

Maintaining Eye Contact:

It’s very important to maintain eye contact when you are talking to someone. When you maintain eye contact with the other person, you are able to listen to them and thus respond in an intelligent manner. It also shows that you are confident and ready to listen to them.

Having the Right Posture:

To appear increase intelligent, it is important to maintain your posture. Studies show that people who tend to slouch present themselves as less confident and intelligent. Thus, having a straight and right posture presents you as confident and intelligent. Also, it helps you improve your appearance in general.

Getting Proper Sleep:

It’s important to get proper sleep to appear to increase intelligence. A well-rested person is able to listen and learn new things much faster than a person who is sleep deprived. Also, having proper sleep will remove a frown from the face and the eyes will appear wider. Thus, you becoming more attractive and appearing increase intelligent.

Speaking Slowly and Clearly:

Expressing yourself is very important, thus the best way to express is to speak slowly. Slow and clear speech creates an impression of what you are saying, you are confident about it. It makes you appear more intelligent as you present yourself well sorted out. A research proves that people who speak slowly and clearly appear to be increase intelligent than someone who speaks very fast and unclear.

Broadening Your Mind:

To appear and be increas intelligent, the best way is to be open to new ideas. Broadening your mind and horizon helps you to grasp and learn what you didn’t know. It also gives you the ability to understand and look at a situation in a very different perspective. Also, it enhances your listening skills.

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In today’s time, the emphasis on body image and skin color has increased. We see gyms opening up in every corner, and advertisement focusing on making the skin fairer. Everywhere we see, we are told that our body is not perfect or our skin should be fairer. The constant bombardment of these adverts can make anyone feel insecure about themselves. Hence, leading to different mental health issues like bulimia or anorexia, or depression. But here we give you advice how you accepting yourself.

It’s very important for anyone to learn to accept their body. The fight between the body and self becomes daunting for the person. The acceptance towards one’s body is fogged under the illusion of looking better. Big companies promote themselves by attacking one’s self-image. A lot of teenagers and even adults lose their self-confidence.

Thus, below are ways to understand and accept the self-image:

Making the Decision:

It’s very important to take the first step and make the decision. Positive thinking should be the first step. Along with it, it is important to understand that you are beautiful no matter how you look. Telling yourself every day that you are beautiful the way you are, helps you. Thus, making a decision for the acceptance of the body is the first step. The positive thoughts delete the negative ones which are fed to us for ages.

Dressing for Yourself:

We always have a tendency to dress for others. When going to a party our first thought is what would XYZ think when they look at us. In between those thoughts, one forgets to dress for themselves. We always tend to think that we will look good in the dress if we shed some weight or gain some muscles or look a shade whiter. But, we forget that we have to dress for ourselves. Wearing the dress, you are saving for the future will boost your confidence. It will help you improve your confidence.

Accept the Compliments:

We have reduced some weight, or cut our hair or etc. Then, someone compliments on the thing. Our tendency is always to find the negative in the compliment or dismiss the compliment. We console ourselves by saying that we are being humble, but in reality, we are not accepting the compliment. Hence, it is important to accept the compliment. It’s ok if someone is complimenting on your progress or on yourself, you should accept it.

Being Positive:

In the run of improving our body image or our insecurities and jealousy; we tend to bad mouth the other person. We feel negative, that’s why we tend to see the negative in others. It becomes very difficult for us to give a compliment to someone. Thus, it is important for you to compliment others. It brings positivity and acceptance towards yourself. Giving out compliments to others will make you feel happy and confident.

Conclusion

Hence, as mentioned above, most people live for the future. They enter a vicious circle of going to the future rather than living in the present. Thus, it is important to live in the present. Also, know that we have to fight a long period of negativity, hence it will take time to accept. But, it is possible to accept yourself and be happy.

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