Blog

At the end of an emotionally abusive relationship, you might feel burdened with inconclusive thoughts and overwhelming emotions. And this is absolutely acceptable. While your friends and family feel thankful for your break-up, they may not be able to understand the emotional turmoil going inside your heart and brain. But you should not carry on with toxic relationship

Let’s look at the end of an abusive relationship from the following aspects:

Mental and Emotional Health

Post being dumped by the person whom you considered to be your one and only soul mate, you might go through a roller coaster of emotions. The symptoms are often similar to that of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
There might not be any visible scars to make it obvious that you are hurt, but the pain is similar to that of a physical injury.
You might even show obsessive behaviour, where you constantly think about your ex, your break up.
The more the covert these symptoms are, the more damage it can do to your emotional stability and the ability to overcome the trauma.

Attachment or Addiction?

When two people part their ways in a healthy way, they may feel hurt, but it does not take a psychological toll on the two persons involved. They eventually move on as a practical approach was followed to end the relationship. But in an emotionally abusive relationship, the break up isn’t as clean, rather the abuser is manipulative.
The victim might not recognize signs and develop an emotional attachment towards them.
You might re-run the events from your relationship in your mind several times throughout the day or read the old conversations.
Being with a person becomes addictive over a period of time, like an unhealthy attachment. It might seem normal and justified to the victim, but this really hampers their emotional well-being.

Moving on!

The first step to moving on is to accept your situation. A few things that you could do to overcome such a relationship are:

Take care of your emotions

Repairing your emotions requires great efforts. When you get abandoned by someone you are so addicted to, it affects your self-esteem negatively. You can feel used and discarded, angry and isolated. Instead of suppressing and being a home to them, it is very important that you accept and acknowledge your emotions. Recognize how you feel. You can make a journal about the same. If you feel like crying or screaming, do that.

Pen it down

At times it might be difficult for you to talk about your broken relationship and what all you went through in that. But it is important to express in order to heal. To start with, you can keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions, gradually opening up about it verbally.

Confide in Close ones

You can always count on your close friends and families when you feel the need to. Surround yourself with people. Avoid isolating yourself with your thoughts all the time.

Cut-off contact with the abuser

You need to cut off the contact with your ex. Being vulnerable might drag you to his doors, but this would be unhealthy. It is important to maintain a distance when you part ways with your abuser. You may feel a pull towards him, but remember it is unhealthy for your mental health if you remain connected to him.

Do not stalk

It may seem like a nice idea to keep a tab on your ex by stalking him on social media or keeping in touch with his friends. But this is not ideal. You must focus investing your time and energy on yourself rather than knowing about his whereabouts.

Postpone important decisions

In the times, when you are emotionally unstable it is better to not make any important life decisions, which may affect your future. Let yourself feel and heal for some time first.

Practice patience

For a physical injury to heal there is always a defined set of medicines and treatment method that one follows and gets okay. But for an emotional setback, you need to give yourself time. Every person takes their own time to get out of an emotional difficulty. Focus on your progress.

Seek Help

If your emotions are way out of control and are hindering with your daily life, you should seek for some professional help. In the times, when we are vulnerable, we might not be in the right state of mind to be emotionally efficient. A bit of advice about situation and lifestyle changes by a professional can prove to be of great help.

Are you in a healthy relationship? Have you been a victim of emotional abuse?

Call us for 15 minutes of free counselling at +91=9069069069.

September 06, 2018, will mark an important day for the LGBT community in India. The Supreme Court of India abolished Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code (IPC).  This law came into effect in the year 1982. It stated that the carnal intercourse against the order of nature with man, woman or animal was punishable with imprisonment of a lifetime or at least 10 years of jail, with or without fine.

Today’s judgment symbolizes the beginning of unbiased treatment for the LGBTQ community in our country. For a very long time, the community has been harassed and struggled. They had been treated as the discarded sections, always. But the decision of abolishing Section 377 is a huge initiation in terms of equality.

Chief justice Dipak Misra and Justices DY Chandrachud, AM Khanwilkar, Indu Malhotra, and Rohinton Fali Nariman decreed that LGBTQ community will now have the same sexual rights just like everyone else.

The Journey

In 2009, Delhi High court had declared that any consensual sexual act between homosexuals in private is not illegal. But later, Justice G S Singhvi did not validate the decision and said that it is on the members of Parliament to make any decision on the topic.

However, in April 2014, the Supreme Court suggested the government to declare transgender as the third sex and should be able to practice all the rights under the law and also asked the community in the OBC category. Naz Foundation in April 2016 filed a petition and the Chief Justice, TS Thakur decided to review the same along with a constitutional bench of 5 other members.

The Verdict

Finally, following the small steps over the time, here is the decision, taken for the welfare of the LGBTQ community. From the common man to the United Nations, everyone is praising the decision. There is a wave of happiness all over the country.

The Psychological Benefits of the verdict

The verdict is the right step in the direction of equality as there will be no victimization or labelling of any alternate sexuality. This might not end discrimination totally, but this will open the doors of acceptance for people of the LGBT community. The harassment and blackmailing of the gay people will stop, which had actually been one of the major reasons in the past for them to remain in the closet. The homosexuals who married the opposite sex due to the stigma can come out now, ending their unhappy marriages.

Accepting others for who they are is the biggest support one can give each other. Sexuality is not an acquired trait, its very much natural.

All the protests and demonstrations finally end in a fruitful result. From here on, there will be hearts full of love and heads held up high with pride.

Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli

What are the Personality Disorders?

You would be suffering from a Personality Disorder if you have unhealthy and rigid patterns of Thinking, behaving and functioning. It is difficult to diagnose if you have a personality disorder because the way you behave and think is very natural to you. Since,You often find that the problems you have to face are due to other people around you and not due to your specific actions. Hence,You find it difficult to adjust to your work and interpersonal relationships.

These are relatively permanent patterns in the way you behave and experience inner emotions. The pattern is seen in areas of your thoughts, emotions, interpersonal functioning and impulse management.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder(NPD)?

The classic description of NPD in one word is the pattern of “Grandiosity”, either in behavior or fantasy. You will have a longing desire for admiration from everyone and a complete absence of empathy towards other people. If you suffer from NPD, you will have an unshakable belief about your being of primary importance to anyone and everyone you meet.

People with NPD  generally have patronizing and snobbish attitudes. If you find yourself or a friend of yours complain about most of the people around themselves and finds faults about them; It could be an indication of NPD.

People with this Personality disorder believe that they are superior or special and like to bond with others who they believe are unique and special. When they associate with special people,their self-esteem is boosted, which is generally fragile in their cases. In addition,people with NPD cannot stand criticism or rejection in any form.

Specific symptoms of NPD

• You feel yourself to be “Very Important”
• Fantasizing about power, success, beauty, ideal romance or Intelligence
• You believe yourself to be unique and hence can only be understood by a few special people
• Need constant admiration and attention from others
• You always have unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment from others
•  Do not hesitate to take advantage of others to reach your goals
• You have no empathy for the feelings of other people
•  Think others are jealous of you and You are jealous of others
• You always show an arrogant attitude and behavior

Possible causes and Treatment

The cause of NPD, like most of the personality disorders, are not very clear and absolute;However, But both genetic and environmental factors are responsible for the development of this condition. Early life experiences play a major role.

Hence, Treatment of NPD is difficult due to the pervasive underlying low self-esteem and hence the defensiveness and projected grandiosity. Also, It is very difficult for such people to acknowledge vulnerability. Although, Individual Therapy and Group Therapy can help them in relating to others in a more empathetic way and understand their patterns of behavior.

Learn More about Dr Prerna Kohli

Telepathy is a phenomenon under the broad Umbrella term of Extrasensory Perception(ESP) as defined in Parapsychology.

Clairvoyance, clairaudience,  are similar to the phenomenon of Telepathy.

Telepathy is communication of a message from one mind to another without any medium. For example, you get a call from a friend the moment you think of him; Though you were out of touch with him since long. This is beyond your learned knowledge and intellect.

Research cannot establish the occurrence of  Telepathy; but science has confirmed that you are made up of frequencies, vibrations, and molecules. Your frequency can be transmitted to another person provided you have shared a physical space at some point in your life.

It is not possible to measure, control or observe an event like Telepathy and hence the limitation in Research.

These could be some of the possible explanations of Telepathy:

• You have Neurons in your brain, called Mirror neurons which act as mirrors;  hence you would have noticed some people can read other people’s mind better. Research has shown that you can even understand the emotions and intentions of the other person automatically. If you have higher levels of oxytocin, the chances are that you would be better at understanding and reading these social cues.

• Research in this area has also demonstrated that you might be more Telepathic than your friend. A brain-imaging study done on a Telepathic person’s brain showed more activation in the right parahippocampal gyrus(Area of the brain).
• The more dopamine you have in your brain, the greater are the chances of unfounded beliefs ( this is not an indicator of any pathology). Studies have indicated a genetic difference in dopamine transmission of Telepathic people.

Although, we do not have any substantial research in this area, It is interesting enough to explore and know more about Telepathy.

If you need Psychologist click here

Learn More about Dr Prerna Kohli

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can happen to adults as well as children. The amount of trauma experienced by an adult can be experienced by a child too. But, their reaction to trauma differs with age.

Thus, below are few symptoms shown by a Child having PTSD:

Bed Wetting:

Even after learning how to use the toilet, the child starts to wet the bed. This event usually happens because of nightmares about the trauma. Also, the child doesn’t realise about this issue and keeps on wetting the bed.

No Talk:

Mostly, children become unable to or in extreme cases, stop talking. They forget how to talk and express their emotions. Also, in some cases, the child becomes unable to talk. Thus, becoming mute.

Acting Out:

The trauma caused by the event is very scary for them. But, as they are unable to express themselves, they start acting out the trauma. This usually happens during their play or when they are indulged in other activities like drawing, painting etc.

Become Clingy:

They will start to cling to a parent or a guardian who they are close to. The fear of the trauma scares them to an unimaginable extent. Thus, making them cling to a loved one for safety and comfort.

Destructive Behaviour:

Sometimes, the child starts to act in a destructive manner. As they are unable to explain what is going on with them, they will start becoming angry and destructive.

With age, the symptoms are shown by a child also evolves. Thus, children of different age will exhibit different symptoms.

Thus, below are the symptoms shown by child, age-wise, suffering from PTSD:

Under Age 6:

Children under the age of 6 will usually show the symptoms mentioned above. They will cling to a parent or start acting out in their play.

Between Age 7-11:

Children between the age of 7-11 start showing symptoms similar to above. They will have nightmares and will start avoiding school or school work. They might isolate themselves or start acting out in an aggressive manner. Their drawings or paintings might become an expression of the trauma.

Between Age 12-18:

Children between the age of 12-18 will usually show the symptoms which an adult will show. This may include, and not limited to, depression, anxiety, acting out, substance use or even constantly running away from home.

PTSD can happen to anyone, regardless of age. If you or someone you know is suffering from PTSD then please visit a mental health professional immediately.

To know more about Dr Prerna Kohli

After any traumatic event, it is normal to experience upsetting memories, trouble sleeping or doing daily activities. These feelings take time to go away when we have experienced a traumatic situation. After few weeks the person starts to feel better and get back to normal routine. But, if this feeling stays over for more than few months, then it is possible that you are experiencing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

PTSD is a stress disorder, where the person keeps on getting flashbacks of the traumatic event. These events/memories, start evoking anxiety within them. The memories of the event become very stressful for them and they become unable to resume their daily work.

Thus, below are the symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder:

Flashbacks:

Someone suffering from PTSD will start to relive the moment over and over again in their mind. The memories will be represented as nightmares or constant thoughts. Thus, it will give the feeling that you are stuck at the moment.

Avoiding:

You will start avoiding moments or situations which remind you of the event. Also, you will start to ignore the person who is related to the moment. Thus, avoiding the situation completely; even talking about it.

Negative Feelings:

You will start to experience negative thoughts. These thoughts can be about guilt or shame. Also, your perspective on the world will start changing and you will find it difficult to trust yourself and others around you. Thus, being happy about situations will start becoming more difficult.

Always on Alert:

You will start assessing situations very deeply and will always be on the lookout for danger. Hence, this can start hampering your sleep and concentration. Thus, making you feel vulnerable and irritable most of the time.

Also, Along with PTSD, there can be additional mental health problems.

Below is a list of other problems associated with PTSD:

• Depression or Anxiety
• Drinking or any other addiction

  

• Feeling of guilt, shame, hopelessness and despair.
• Physical symptoms like pain in head, stomach etc.
• Relationship Problems
• Employment Problems

PTSD can happen to anyone. Usually, these symptoms start coming up right after the event. But, sometimes it can also appear after months or years after the event. They may come and go but will keep on hampering your life.

PTSD is not a sign of weakness. It is an illness which needs to be treated. Hence, if you or someone you know is suffering from PTSD then please visit a mental health professional immediately.

To know more about Dr Prerna Kohli

Adequate sleep is a prerequisite for one to function optimally. Inadequate sleep not only has an adverse impact on one’s brain functioning but also affects one’s physical health by making one more prone to illnesses such as heart diseases, hypertension, diabetes etc. Lack of sleep also makes one moody and irritable, reduces productivity, and causes cognitive impairment.

On an average, it takes an individual 10-20 minutes to fall asleep. Anything more than that suggests a problem, and anything less than that suggests that a person has sleep deprivation. Unless you are suffering from a disorder that is the cause behind your wakefulness, anxiety is usually the cause of your trouble falling asleep. Anxiety inhibits you from achieving a relaxed mind and body state that aids one in falling asleep. Therefore, one can try the following methods to beat the anxiety around not being able to sleep, and fall asleep faster:

1. Hide your clock

Continuously looking at the clock and seeing how much sleep you are missing out on, only increases your anxiety and stress, thus making it harder to fall asleep.

2. Forcibly try to stay awake

The harder you try to sleep, the more difficult it seems to get. Thus, although this might not be a long-term solution, one can use reverse psychology and force oneself to stay awake. A study done on this found that this paradoxical intention actually helped the participants who had sleep onset insomnia, fall asleep faster.

3. Cool your room

When you are about to fall asleep, your body temperature lowers a little. This slows down your metabolism and helps you fall asleep. Therefore, ensure that your room is at a comfortably cool temperature. A temperature of 15-23 degrees Celsius is recommended, but this may vary as per person.

4. Take a hot shower before going to bed

Taking a hot shower and then going to a cool room helps bring down your body temperature more quickly.

5. Use the 4-7-8 breathing technique

The 4-7-8 breathing method is said to help relax your body by increasing your oxygen intake and carbon dioxide release and slowing your heart rate. Given below are the steps for it:

• Breathe out through your mouth, making a whoosh sound.
• Now, close your mouth and breathe in through your nose, till the count of four.
• Hold your breath until the count of seven.
• Now, breathe out making a whoosh sound as you count till eight.
• Repeat this cycle at least thrice.

6. Make sure your circadian rhythm is on track

Follow a schedule so your body becomes habitual to falling asleep at a certain time. Experience both light and darkness so that your body’s internal clock is not disrupted.

7. Relax your body

Practice yoga, meditation, mindfulness, guided imagery, progressive relaxation, and breathing exercises to help calm and relax your body. Listening to calming music or using aromatherapy can also help relax your mind and body.

8. What not to eat and drink

Avoid foods high on carb before going to sleep, as they are said to have a detrimental effect on one’s sleep. High-fat foods, on the other hand, are said to promote sleep. Do not consume any form of caffeine at least six hours prior to your sleep time.

9. Exercise

Some form of physical exercise will help exhaust your body which will help you fall asleep faster. By increasing the production of serotonin and decreasing the level of cortisol in one’s body, exercising can help improve the quality as well as the quantity of one’s sleep. However, it is essential that one does not go overboard with it. The timing also matters. Exercising in the morning is said to be more beneficial than exercising during the evening.

10. Give yourself acupressure

Giving yourself acupressure on certain spots (between the eyebrows, between first and second toe, and ears) is said to alleviate sleeplessness.

11. Make yourself comfortable

An uncomfortable mattress is often the reason behind a poor night’s sleep. Thus, make sure you have a comfortable mattress and pillow.

12. Keep away all electronic devices

Most electronic devices emit blue light which is said to delay one’s sleep and also have a detrimental effect on one’s quality of sleep as well.

If you or someone you know is experiencing problems in falling asleep, please consult an experienced psychologist to rule out any mental health issues.

Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli

Art therapy is a modern form of therapy.  It replaces the traditional therapy model by making use of imaginative structures. It is generally combined with other forms of psychotherapy. Although more beneficial for children, especially those who have trouble expressing their emotions, art therapy can be used with adults as well. Everyone can be creative in some form or the other. Therefore, what art therapy aims to do is, provide people the opportunity to think and act creatively. For this purpose, it uses a variety of modalities such as clay, paint, paper, color pencils etc.

It has the following benefits –

• Self-exploration: Art therapy offers a means of catharsis, by providing an insight into feelings that one might not have been previously aware of.
• Self-worth: The entire process (creative and analytical) involved in the creation of an artwork and then seeing a tangible end product provides a sense of fulfillment.
• Empowerment: Art therapy allows one to express one’s emotions and fears that one might not have been able to verbally. Thus, by allowing a sense of control over one’s feelings, it provides a sense of empowerment.
• Brain connectivity and plasticity: By encouraging creative thinking, art therapy simulates the process of creation of new pathways in your brain.
• Stress buster: Artistic and creative activities help you forget your problems and calm down. It provides you a mental escape and helps you connect with yourself better.

• Mental health: Art therapy improves the mental health of people suffering from other illnesses or traumatic experiences as well. Art therapy has benefits for – cancer patients; survivors of violence; substance abuser and addicts; people suffering from anxiety, depression, PTSD, bipolar disorder, and other emotional issues. It also helps people deal with relationship issues.
• Rapport Formation: It serves as a great tool for ice breaking, especially with children.

Psychologist is explain more about the Art therapy

Art therapy is not a tool for aiding healing, but an instrument for promoting mental well-being.

Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli

When preparing to go on stage to perform, we all have butterflies in our stomach. While for some, the thrill and joy of performing might be invigorating, for the others, it might not. For them, just the thought of going onstage is a cause for palpitations and sweating, that can at times be quite debilitating as well. This fear of performing in front of everyone (also known as stage fright) and being the center of attention can take a heavy toll on some people. It might affect their self-confidence to the extent that they consciously and actively take steps to avoid such situations where they might be judged.

While practicing beforehand is a good way to get prepared for performing in front of people, it is not enough to reduce your fear. In order to overcome your fear, you need to work on and change your beliefs, negative thoughts, assumptions, and preconceived notions that you have related to performing.

Try the following tips to overcome your fear:

• Avoid too much caffeine, sugar or alcohol.
• Focus on the value that your act will add for the audience instead of focusing on yourself.
• Stop yourself (by saying out loud if needed) from having self-doubting thoughts which may evoke low self-confidence.
• Practice relaxation methods before you go onstage, to calm yourself down.
• Establish some connection with your audience. Greet, smile, and establish eye contact.

  

• Focus on your strengths. Think about the consequences in case your performance goes really well, rather than preoccupying yourself with scary thoughts about all the things that might go wrong.
• Do not panic in case something goes wrong. Prepare yourself for things that could possibly go wrong, in advance.
• Most importantly, understand that making mistakes is normal.

Do not aim for perfection, but at giving your best.

Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli

Benefits of owning a pet are coming to the forefront, as more and more research is being dedicated to this line of thought.

Following are the benefits that will hopefully motivate you to get a pet for yourself:

1. They love you unconditionally, and are a great source of support.
2. Pets provide you constant companionship and prevent against isolation. They make you feel needed.

   

3. They act as great listeners, and thus, provide a vent for your feelings.
4. Some pets need to be taken out for walks. As a result, they act as motivators for you to step out, exercise and interact with people. Thus, acting as protective factors against heart diseases and depression.
5. They help children with developmental disorders. For example, in case of autism, pets help improve their social interaction; in case of ADHD, they help children release their excess energy. They also help reduce the anxiety and stress that these children experience as a result of their daily life challenges.

   

6. A snuggle with your pet will help you calm down and get rid of your anxiety and stress.

   

7. By giving you a reason to wake up every morning, they provide your life with a sense of purpose.
8. Pets help provide some structure and routine to your day-to-day life.

It is because of the recognition of these mental health benefits that pets serve, that animals now are being used for therapy in the form of Animal Assisted Therapy (AAT).

Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli