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Even if you can notice the red flags, it is difficult to distinguish between warning signs of trouble and normal childhood behaviour.

It is usually upon the adults in children’s life to identify any sign of a problem in the children’s life. One might reason that all children display these signs at some point in their life and not all of them suffer through mental illness. Yes, but they might be facing some issue and these signs can be a direct indicator of what is going on in their lives. So, it is vital to pay attention to these signs.

Mood changes

Children do not have a complete understanding and control of their emotions. Mood changes are one of the earliest presenting warning signs of trouble. Look for feelings of sadness and withdrawal for over at least 2 weeks or extreme mood swings that cause problems at home or school.

Intense feelings

Mental issues can manifest in the form of intense feelings. The child might have intense fear or seem to overthink and worry that interfere with daily activities.

Unexplained weight loss/ gain

A sudden loss or gain in appetite and weight can be an indicator of mood disorders. Whereas, unexplained weight loss, frequent vomit or use of laxative might indicate an eating disorder.

Difficulty concentrating

Look for signs if there is trouble concentrating and sitting still. These signs can be identified easily as they might lead to poor performance in school.

Physical symptoms

Children manifest physical symptoms of mental issues more than adults. Pay attention to symptoms like frequent headaches, stomach aches, loss of energy which might indicate anxiety or mood disorders.

Physical harm

Sometimes a mental health condition can lead to self-injury or self-harm. Be attentive to any unexplained injury like cuts or burns. Children with mental health issues might also develop suicidal thoughts and tendencies.

Behavioural changes

Problematic behaviour, personality changes or getting involved in dangerous situations and out of control behaviour are some of the warning signs.

Substance abuse

Many times, when a child is unable to cope with their feelings, they might move towards the use of a substance. Children might also pick up substance use due to peer pressure or bullying. Pay attention to the child’s surrounding and friendships.

If you seem to notice the warning signs, your child might be going through some issues. Consult an experienced psychologist to get a clearer picture of the issue and cope with the problem effectively.

To learn more about Dr Prerna Kohli click here

All images courtesy Pixabay

Adolescents curiosity about sexuality is normal and a healthy aspect development of human development and the human brain is very pliable during adolescent age during which many new brain connections are made. Hence, this leaves teenagers vulnerable to the influence of their surroundings.

Pornography is easily accessible, inexpensive and easy to hide on the internet. Now if this alone does not terrify you, there are a lot more things going wrong with pornography. Porn are also portraying an unrealistic display of sexuality, body image and relationships. Porn is also promoting stereotyping gender roles and displaying violent sexual behavior.

Many teenagers are watching porn and masturbating, the brain is being shaped around a sexual experience that is isolating, irrational and completely revoked of any love or compassion.

Sexual Awareness

Lack of sex education and children move towards porn with a curious mind. While pornography does not educate adolescents about the reproductive aspect of sex and fails to teach about safe sex and managing relationships.

Attitude and Beliefs

Frequent use of porn is associated with a skewed view of the world from the teenager’s point of view like the normalization of sexual violence, sexual objectification, stereotyping general roles and sexism.

Sexual Behavior

Teenagers are seen to engage in the activities they see through pornography, such as engaging in sexual activities with protection or explicit sexual acts. Pornography also displays verbal and physical violence which conditions the child to hostility as well. 

Mental Health and Well-being

Exposure to sexually explicit images includes developing depression and low self-esteem. Other problems arise are the development of eating disorders, which stem from a negative perception of one’s body image. Young children can also feel pressured to engage in sexual activity and share images of themselves, which makes them susceptible to sexual abuse, harassment, bullying and sexual exploitation.

To learn more about Prerna Kohli click here

All images courtesy Pixabay

In spite of average or above average intelligence and adequate schooling, some children lag behind in their academic skill acquisition. These children are generally considered as learning disabled. Learning disabilities are diagnosed particularly when children start going to school and are engaged in academic activities with other children in the school.

Academic skill acquisition involves one or more of the basic psychological processes, such as attention, perception, memory, logical thinking and so on. When there is some deficit in these basic processes required in understanding or using language, spoken or written, it may be manifested in the imperfect ability to listen, think, speak, read, write, spell, or do mathematical calculations. In spite of their average or above average intelligence, they have difficulty in learning scholastic skills.

Reading Disability

This disorder is diagnosed when a child has specific and significant impairment in the development of reading skills which is not due to poor intellectual functioning, visual or auditory acuity or poor schooling. It includes reading skills like reading comprehension, word recognition, oral reading skills and even impairment in skills that require reading.
Most of them have a history of specific developmental delays in speech and language acquisition. At the early stage, difficulties are observed mostly in learning an alphabetic script, in reciting the alphabet, in naming letters, rhyming words, in analysis or categorization of sounds. At a later stage, reading disorders may be manifested in omission, substitution, distortion or addition of words, slow reading rate, hesitations, reversals of words and even sentences, inability to comprehend, or recall what was read and so on. Difficulty in reading may be seen in other scholastic areas such as
arithmetic or writing.

Specific Writing Disability

The term ‘disorder of written expression’ was used by the American Psychological Association (APA, 2000) as a synonym for a specific writing disability. It is defined as “writing skills that fall substantially below those expected given the child’s chronological age, measured intelligence, and age-appropriate education”. Poor visual-motor coordination may also cause a significant problem in handwriting. Spelling difficulties are usually assessed by using individualized tests of spelling.

Specific Mathematics Disability

This is characterized by a specific impairment in basic computational skills such as addition, subtraction, and multiplication. It should not include difficulties in higher mathematical skills such as algebra, trigonometry, geometry or calculus. This should not be due to an intellectual, sensory, perceptual or neurological impairment or poor teaching-learning environment.

Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli

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As a parent, you prepare yourselves for every problem your child might face, small or big. That encompasses taking care of their mental health as well.

Depression is a serious medical condition that can negatively affect a child’s ability to connect with friends and family, enjoy normal daily activities, attend school and concentrate while there, and enjoy childhood.

Depression has reached alarming levels among youth. With the ratio 2:1 in children, girls are at being a higher risk than boys. The child might show just a few depressive symptoms or be in a full-blown depressive state. Below are a few tips that will help manage and prevent depression in kids.

Focus on communication

First of all, listen to the child without any judgment and resist any urge to criticize. It helps create a safe environment where the child can openly communicate unconditionally. Acknowledging their feelings can make them feel understood and supported. Be respectful about the child’s comfort level while talking to them and still emphasizing your concern can be difficult but not impossible.

Make physical health a priority

Depression also affects the physiology of the child. Children face sleep disturbances and change in eating habits. It is important to exercise or engage in some kind of physical activity to help reduce depression and also take care of physical health. Be conscious of what your child eats. Provide them with a balanced diet that consists of nutrients for brain health and mood support like healthy fats, proteins, and fresh produce. Encourage your child to have plenty of sleep, up to 8-9hours every night for optimal functioning. 

Assist in learning thinking and coping skills

Teach your child problem solving with the help of looking at problems from different perspectives, giving them different alternatives to the solutions and a positive perspective. Teach breaking the task into smaller steps to achieve success.

Be supportive

Going through therapy can be difficult and draining for the child as well as parents. The child gives you a hard time as well, understand that they are not doing this on purpose, but they are suffering. Stay involved in the treatment by making sure that the child is going to therapy, keep records of the change and report them to the therapist. Recovery can be a bumpy ride, there will be setbacks but also small victories. It is important to be patient and not judge and compare yourself to others.

Help to find a hobby

Exploring different activities together until your child finds the one that they enjoy the most. You can try activities such as dancing, singing, sports, swimming, art, cooking, horseback riding and many more. They may lack motivation at first, but this will help develop social support.

Accentuate the positives

Notice the things your child is doing, recognize them, encourage and appreciate the child rather than counting on the things they did not do right. Outweigh the negatives with positives as this will help the child build self-esteem.

Encourage social connections

Depression often leads to withdrawal from society hence it is important to make time for face to face connection as it will help the child feel less lonely. Another way to combat social isolation is by to go encouraging your child to go out with friends or invite them over. Give them opportunities to meet and connect with other kids. Make you child pick up volunteer work, helping other people without one’s benefit gives them a sense of purpose and is also a self-esteem booster.

To learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli click here

All images courtesy Pixabay

Depression in children is a persistent and regressive condition, which accumulate over time. Hence, it is vital to identify and attend to depression at the earliest to reduce its long-term negative consequences.

Childhood depression is different from normal ‘blues’, irritation or being in a bad mood from time to time. But when these negative feelings and thoughts stay put for a long time and limit a child’s capacity to function normally with schoolwork, social activities and family life, however, the child may have depression.

Identifying Depression in Children is not easy

It is difficult to recognize depression in children as many symptoms may get interpreted as the child being lazy, having a bad attitude or disrespect or being moody. Furthermore, depression leads to an increased risk of poor academic functioning, impaired social functioning, suicidal behavior, alcohol/ substance abused and other mental illnesses in the future.

Children who have a family history of depression or any other affect disorder are at a high risk of developing depression in childhood rather than those who don’t have a predisposition. Similarly, children under extreme stress, or have experienced trauma, neglect or abuse, or recently lost a relationship can be more likely to develop depression. Depression is almost easier to detect in ‘at risk’ children.

Rates of childhood depression have been rising in the past few years. Yet, the awareness has not caught on the same level. Majority cases of childhood depression are little known due to not being identified. 

Above all, depressive symptoms in children are difficult to detect as they are underlying, and children don’t quite have a clear understanding of emotions just yet. As a result, it is important to pay close attention to the warning signs a child might display.

Warning signs:

• Persistent feeling of sadness, hopelessness
• Increased sensitivity
• Irritability and anger
• Withdrawal and avoidance
• Changes in appetite
• Sleep disturbances
• Difficulty concentrating
• Trouble making decisions
• Boredom/ loss of interest
• Difficulty with relationships
• Persistent physical complaints (like headaches, stomach-aches or other pains)
• Fatigue
• Dropping grades
• Thoughts and talk about death
• Running away or threats of running away from home 

Early detection is a great help in the treatment. Treatment of childhood depression curbs the relapses and chronic episodes of depression in the future. It calls for immediate contact with an expert psychologist or counselor for an official diagnosis and treatment plan.

To learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli, click here

All images courtesy of Pixabay

Bullying can take the form of verbal abuses, physical assault, derisive comments, teasing and ganging up against a child or some children. Parents have an important role to play in handling bullying not only at home and neighborhood but also in schools.

The following measures are suggested for the same:

i) If bullying by their child is reported by the school or by the parents of other children, they should take immediate action.

ii) They could help their child to learn how they can get the same thing done without resorting to bullying.

iii) They should help the child understand what happens to the child who is bullied.

iv) On their part at home parents must make sure they do not bully the child to obey them and do what they desire the child to do.

v) They should act as role models for their children by using positive nonviolent methods to solve a problem or issue.

vi) They must make it clear to their children that bullying at any place will not be tolerated and would warrant punishment.

vii) They should nurture and build self-esteem and self-confidence in their child so that he or she neither bullies nor become victims of bullying.

Additional Important Tips

viii) Rewarding children with praise and appreciation for showing consideration to others would help in a big way.

ix) Making their children aware of the existence of bullies in school and outside and how to handle them with confidence would also help.

x) Parents should create an environment at home which gives importance to developing feelings of togetherness and bonding, where children can learn positive ways of dealing with difficult situations either at school or in the neighborhood.

xi) The parents should be a friend and philosopher to their own child so that he can trust parents and communicate their problems without any hesitation.

xii) Parents must help the child learn to be assertive in situations where it is required, e.g when facing a bully, the child can ask the bully to STOP that behavior quite assertively and not show timidity or fear.

xiii) Where necessary, the parent should take the principal or the teacher into confidence and request their help to prevent such bullying.

xiv) If one’s own child is timid, shy and withdrawn despite all the help that they give, it would be better to seek the help of an expert (a psychologist or school counselor) to help the child develop skills to overcome the deficiencies in his personality.

Finally, the above-mentioned measures can go a long way in not just curbing bullying behavior in children but also helping them not to develop other bad habits and thus make them mentally healthy.

To lean more about Dr. Prerna Kohli, click here

All images courtesy of Pixabay

“Your children don’t deserve your anger, hurt or pain. Instead shower them with love, compassion and empathy. Think of them as little people and not children”

Dr. Prerna Kohli

Firstly, Anger is a powerful emotion which may be more destructive if not expressed productively. Likewise, anger can be expressed in two ways- exploding and imploding. Furthermore, as the words suggest, explosive anger can be heard, felt, and sensed. Whereas, implosive anger is quiet, and goes unnoticed. It often moderates to severe depression.

Modeling is the process when an individual learns a certain behavior by observing others. Parents are the primary teacher to the children and children imitate the primary caregiver’s angry attitudes and behaviors and learning anger. Because of exposure to parental angry directly or indirectly, the child develops poor over-all adjustment and various other issues.

Effects of angry parents on children:

• The child becomes more aggressive and less empathetic.
• Likewise, they might also develop depression, social alienation, spouse abuse.
• The child also happens to gain fear, anxiety and low self-esteem.
• Children have troubles regulating their emotions and anger.
• They also have feeble problem-solving skills and low perceptual learning.

Moreover, taking a deep breath and other various relaxation techniques help control anger at the immediate necessity. Because finding your trigger and understanding your thought has been proven to reason with anger.  You will find many tips and techniques in other articles on this website to manage your anger.

Benefits of healthy coping of anger around kids:

1. Calm interaction with children
2. Become less afraid of the child’s anger
3. Can model coping with anger effectively
4. Less likely to be harmful in anger outburst
5. Feel more in charge and confident

In conclusion, if you feel that your anger management issues are impacting the wellbeing of your child, please consult with an experienced Psychologist.

To learn about Dr. Prerna Kohli click here

All images courtesy Pixabay

The news is reporting a story about a young man who pushed his BMW into the river. His reason for drowning the luxury car was that he had asked his parents for a Jaguar, and instead, they had given him a BMW. It appears to be case of overindulgence in parenting.

Not having met either this young man or his family, this blog is based upon psychological profiling or similar cases and not this case in particular.

All of us are dismayed at this uncouth behavior of destroying a luxury car, filming it and then posting the video on social media.

The moot question is, who is to blame, the youth or his parents? While most of the readers will hold the youth responsible for this. It appears to be a case of bad parenting. Most likely since childhood, the boy wasn’t taught the value of things and instead tantrums were tolerated, encouraged and condoned. He was never taught what is right or wrong.

Destructive behavior of this nature is seen when the parent is overindulging their child.

Are you guilty of giving your child too much, too soon, and for too long? Studies show that parents who give their children too much are harming the child instead of helping them.

The outcomes of overindulging children aren’t pleasant: Study shows that overindulgence leads to selfishness, unwillingness, greed, self-centeredness and a lack of accountability for their actions, to list only a few of the obnoxious characteristics seen in children and adults who got too much, too often.

One of the primary reasons for this overindulgence by parents is that this generation is more affluent than previous generations and therefore feel it is appropriate to give more to their children.

According to researchers, there are three types of overindulgences that parents fall prey to:

Giving their children too much: This can be too many toys, too many clothes, or even too many activities

Over nurturing: Doing things for their children that the child should be doing for themselves. This could be as simple as polishing one’s shoes, doing their homework for them, etc.

Soft structure: Not having rules for the child to obey, or not disciplining the child for not following the rules. This could be as simple as limiting the number of hours of video games or television.

Coming back to the BMW story, as much as I deplore the actions of this young man for ruining such a very expensive car. It is an example of poor parenting. The parents most likely overindulged him in his childhood and didn’t discipline him when he intentionally broke his toys and replaced those toys with even more expensive and better toys.

It is very important to teach your child to value his belongings. If he breaks or loses something intentionally or due to carelessness behavior; appropriate punishment needs to be given. It is the parents’ responsibility to give correct values to their child.

To learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli click here

All images are courtesy Pixabay

Parents have the major responsibility of inculcating in children discipline, healthy competitiveness, striving for excellence. Learning all about the rights and wrongs and the do’s and don’ts. Developing healthy relationships and adhering to family norms.

As well as learning how not to deviate from the norms as it may lead them to difficulties. Much of the growing days of children are spent in schools. Here they get to understand themselves and their environment better and through this, they also learn about their physical world.

School Vs. Family

Next, to the child’s family, the school plays an important role as an agent of socialization. The child is provided opportunities by the school to learn to explore and experiment both academically and in dealing with others. As well as becoming aware of his own strengths and weaknesses. This exploration is not always pleasant and smooth as it may lead the child into areas that have the potential to escalate into problems. For instance, the child may face the problem of being bullied in school. In certain cases, the child may manifest problems related to psychological and physical stresses.

Mental Health of Children

Mental health according to the World Health Organization (WHO) is ‘a state of wellbeing in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community’. A healthy mental state of Children is essential as it empowers them to flourish and develop in the right direction, thereby fostering developmental competencies in them.

At the same time, it must be remembered that success during early life does not depend on academic achievements alone, but vital to it is also developing a healthy personality and emotional competencies, which lead to psychological wellness.

Children have certain personality dispositions, for example, extroversion and introversion. While extroversion helps children to interact with others easily, share their joys and sorrows with their peers and family members, introversion makes children draw into themselves and manifest more of shyness and hesitate to interact with peers and others. Some children also show mood swings, uncontrollable behaviors, and impulsivity, which may make them lose interest in work and play.

In some cases, children may lie, steal and play truant from school and home. Such behaviors are indicative of problems within the child and if these continue for a long period of time they will need psychological help to overcome their problems.

Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli

All images courtesy Pixabay

From the minute a mother conceives a baby and months later when she holds her newborn in her arms, her life changes. As for the man, he enters the new phase of fatherhood. The parents experience a whole new level of affection for their child, which they never experienced before. And along with this immense and incomparable love, come the constant thoughts of concern for the well-being of the child.

When he gets a fever, both parents stay awake for the whole night, changing the wet cloth on his forehead. From emergency hospital visits to a pile of antibiotics and ointments, parents do everything to ease the child’s pain. But imagine what a parent would do when the illness is not like a fever which could be measured with a thermometer or a fracture that a plaster cast could fix.

How it is?

A mental illness takes a toll on the person emotionally and psychologically. This, in turn, is the reason, they behave the way they do. And along with the victim, the situation affects the whole family as well. It includes conditions like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, ADHD, personality disorder, eating disorder, etc. There could be other disabilities like learning disabilities which could lead to stress and anxiety in the child.

What can you do?

Being a parent is a constant job. And saying that it is not easy would not be enough. Being a support to your child in difficult times is very important. It could be hard to not know what exactly he is going through, but a few simple ways could make it little easier for you and as well as your child.

Consult an expert

It is important to treat mental illness as an illness. You may be the person with the best interest of your child, but nothing can replace a professional treatment. Look for a qualified mental health expert- particularly in the field of child psychology or psychiatry.

Include the Teacher

Sharing your child’s strength and challenges with his teacher would be helpful. A lot of schools have a counsellor and special education facilities which you can really make use of.

Do not criticize

Constant criticism affects the self-esteem of the child. Rather highlight their strengths. Praising your child even for a small task boosts their confidence.

Accept the diagnosis

It is important to accept the child diagnosis because it will make you as well as your child comfortable.

Track the Mood

Knowing what makes your child go low and becoming aware of the potential triggers will be helpful. This can also help the child’s psychiatrist/ psychologist to determine treatment’s effectiveness.

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Learn more about Dr Prerna Kohli

Read more about Identifying depression in Children