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Mothers Love: Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.

Things your mother never told you:

•You made her cry..a lot:

Every time you hurt, she hurt, when you didn’t fare well in school or got into fights in the playground, she would hurt and cry. But she hid her tears so that you wouldn’t see her tears as a sign of her weakness. She wanted to remain strong for you.

• She wanted that last piece of cake:

She endlessly sacrificed her wants her desires and her needs for you. She wanted that symbolic last piece of cake but gave it to you so that your needs came before hers.

• It hurts:

Being a mother hurts, every cruel remark you, every time you refused to eat the meal she cooked, it hurt her.

• She was always afraid:

She was afraid when you stepped out of the house, till the moment you re-entered the house. As long as you were under her protected sight, you were safe. At any moment she would sacrifice her life to protect you.

• She knows that she is not perfect:

She knows that she has flaws and you didn’t need to remind her. She is working on fixing them. To you, your mother may not be perfect, but she is continuously striving to improve herself.

• She watched you as slept:

Even as you grew older she watched you sleep. The systematic rhythm of your breathing while you slept, gave her confidence that you were safe and secure.

• She carried you a longer than nine months:

She may have carried you only for 9 months in her womb, but she carried you much longer in her heart.

• She put you first:

She has always cherished you and put you first before herself

• She would do it again:

Despite the stress of nourishing you in her womb, the pain of childbirth and the effort of raising you. She would do it again and again. Never doubt that.

The law of the universe is that a woman can’t become a mother without a man, so the most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

Learn more about Dr. Kohli

Parental Exam Tips:

Exam Tips for parents; with final exams around the corner, below are some tips for parents to ensure that there is smooth sailing during this period of high stress.

Exam tips:

Encourage them to ready their exam equipment, such as pencils, pens, notebooks and other stationary

If they are going for a board exam, to a different center than their usual school, do a dry run, on how long it takes to reach the exam center at the scheduled time, as parent keep your vehicle prepped up.

Prepare a checklist of what they need to carry with them, run through the checklist to make sure that everything is assembled

Make sure that your child understands and believes that you are proud of them, and will love them irrespective of how they fare in the exams. Create an environment of encouragement and positivity around them. In our family it is about eating a special meal (sweet rice and curd) and a quick trip to the neighborhood temple, create a pre-exam routine for your child

Post the exam tips:

The period after the exams is a time to talk about how your children feel, allow them to talk while you listen to them. Ensure that they don’t focus on their mistakes. This is a good time to share your own experiences with examinations when you were growing up. This is a time to provide encouragement and allay their fears, plan on some fun activities with your child. In India board exams (class X, and specifically class XII) and the ensuing results are an important milestone in a child’s life, they have their own fears and apprehensions of the future, you are as parent need to the calming force and energy in this period.

One of my favorite sayings: “When thinking of life, no amount of guilt can solve the past, and no amount of anxiety can solve the future. “

Learn more about Dr. Kohli

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.

Here are a few simple guidelines for having Stress Free Exams. To manage exam stress the student should do the following:

Have a regular exercise regime, (pre-exams in not the time to spend hours and hours in the gym) the regime should be brief and not very strenuous, a good idea is to do 20-30 minutes of stretching exercises, push-ups, sit-ups, planks etc

Set aside time to relax, i.e. watch TV, Facebook, etc., give yourself targets, once I have studied Maths for 90 minutes, I will Facebook for 10 minutes. The relaxation should be about 10% of the time. So if you study for 3 hours at a stretch, take 15-20 minutes break.

Sleep well, don’t shortchange your body on the sleep you require, during the exam period 6-7 hours of sleep is mandatory

Eat, and eat healthy, a pizza is not a bad reward, but your diet should consist of nutritious and healthy food

Avoid comparing yourself to your friends, specially the number of hours he/she is studying

Quit habits that come in the way of concentrating on your studies, this is not the time to indulge yourself

Don’t do any exam post-mortem, analyzing how you did on the exam is not going to fix anything

Something that both the parent and student need to remember is that these exams or their results do not define who the student is as a human being. The exams are only for a brief period and will come and go away soon enough. American Basketball player Kobe Bryant said “Everything negative – pressure, challenges – is all an opportunity for me to rise.”

I agree with motivational speaker Ben Caron, that no matter how good you are at planning (or preparing for examinations), the pressure (to excel in the exams) never goes away. So one should not fight the pressure, instead, feed off this pressure and turn the pressure into motivation to do your best.

Learn more about Dr. Kohli

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India with over 20 years of experience and has been providing families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.

A lot of students get confused between Examination Pressure vs Stress. Both parents and students need to understand and appreciate the difference between stress and pressure.  From a Psychologist point of view, pressure can be healthy and beneficial; it creates motivation and the desire to excel. Additionally pressure is what makes a lump of coal into a diamond. Pressure ensure that the student is motivated to excel, and doesn’t have time to be idle, and enjoys his or her free moments of rest and recreation.  Pressure to excel makes a person perform. The term “peer pressure” i.e. when you find that a friend is getting better grades than you pressurizes you to perform better. Think of runners standing at the starting line of a race. Each one of them is under pressure to run faster than the others, this pressure makes them excel.

Stress on the other hand is negative, and manifests itself as depression, if it continues to prolong itself.  Stress can be defined as “a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.”  Stress has connotations of negativity; and leads to a do or dies situation.  One of the best definitions of examination stress is “Stress is defined as an individual’s response to pressure. A small amount of pressure can be useful to keep you focused during exam time. However, for some students, when they experience too much pressure for a long period of time, it becomes stressful and exam preparation and study seems impossible.”

The question that comes to mind is why do students (and their parents) undergo examination stress?

While exam pressure is expected and normal, in fact if a student is not under pressure prior to an exam that should be a matter of concern. The reason for pressure can be as simple as memorizing and learning a very large amount of course material, and being unsure of what will be in the examination paper. Students have this fear that if they leave a particular chapter or topic of the course material, the paper may just cover that. The other reason is that the outcome of the examination will alter the path of their future life.

Pressure levels and the ability to handle pressure vary from individual to individual, no two people are alike and neither is their ability to handle pressure.

When Exam Pressure is replacing Exam Stress becomes a concerning matter.

Both parents and the students need to watch out for these symptoms of examinations stress, and if they notice they symptoms of stress then they need to engage in stress release activities or if necessary talk to an experienced psychologist or counselor. The symptoms of examination stress are

Difficulty in sleeping

Difficulty in waking up in the morning

Low Motivation levels to start a new chapter, new subject etc

Procrastination

Not socializing with friends and family

Being nasty and unpleasant to parents, siblings and others at home

Mind going blank prior or during an exam

Feeling sick, or wanting to vomit, or rapid heartbeat, cold and clammy hands, unsettled stomach

In conclusion pressure is what makes a lump of coal into a diamond, but when the pressure becomes stress, it is a matter of grave concern for both the parents and the student. One needs to know the difference between Exam Pressure vs Stress.

More about Dr. Prerna Kohli

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India with over 20 years of experience and has been providing families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.

With exams around the corner, students are wondering on how to reduce their examination day stress.  Here are a few pointers for those students who are looking to lessen their stress. We all see lots of students studying and revising immediately prior to the exam, as if they can memorize the entire course in a few minutes, this is a waste of energy and will add to your stress.  It is a common sight to see students pacing outside the examination center with notes in their hands trying to overload their brain. This last moment stress will only make you forget what you already know.

A few steps that I feel help for de-stressing exam day:

Stop studying a couple of hours before the exam.

Take a few deep breaths and relax your body and mind whenever you feel tension creeping in.

Learn a quick meditation of 5-10 minutes and practice that while waiting to enter the examination hall

Avoid friends who cause tension or are trying to scare you pull down your confidence. Do not discussing exam topics prior to entering the examination hall, because if you haven’t studied the topic, at the last moment this will cause additional nervousness

Listen to smoothing and relaxing music on your headphones, or watch funny videos on your phone

Have an exam morning ritual, such as eat a high protein diet (curd + rice + sugar is said to help). Visit a place of worship, if you are religious.

Take several deep breaths to calm yourself while the exam sheets are being distributed. This is not a time to raise your anxiety levels.

Remember as you enter the hall, this is just an exam, and it doesn’t determine who you are as a person.  If you are nervous that you haven’t studied enough, take this as a lesson of life to study more before the next exams.

Relax and do the exam to the best of your ability.

More about Dr. Kohli

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India with over 20 years of experience and has been providing families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.

If you have waited till your child is a teenager to discuss sex and sex education with them, it is most probably too late. Sex education for your child should have started when they were toddlers, and reinforced while they were preteens. Starting to educate your child about sex when they are between the ages of 13-19 is late. The work cut out for you will be much tougher. But all is not lost. It is better to start late than never.

Having delayed the discussion about sex with your child for so many years, you will notice that their knowledge and awareness of sex is something that they have picked up from peers, porn or other unreliable sources, and it will take time and effort to clear any distorted point of view that they may have.

Here a few tips:

Seize the moment: If there is a advertisement on television for condoms, or a television or movie show that is about relationships, this is an opportune way of starting the discussion.

Be honest: If you are uncomfortable discussing issues, please be honest about it and tell them that it is important to have an open channel of communications

Be direct: Discuss your opinion about oral sex or intercourse, and share your  and your families moral values on the subject

Listen to their point of view: This is not a time to lecture or enforce your points on them, but to listen to their points of view and also their challenges and concerns

Move beyond the facts: It is important to discuss about the emotions, values, feels and relationships and not just about the physicality of sex

Leave the door open for future discussions: Let your child know that they can reach out to you any time it them want to discuss anything with you

A few of the questions you may be asked are:

What if my boyfriend / girlfriend is pressurizing me for sex? Explain to them that sex should never be out of fear, obligation or a tool to hold on to someone. Forced sex even with a boyfriend/girlfriend is rape. Also drugs and alcohol reduce the ability to make sane decisions. Thus, decisions about sex should not be made while either consuming drugs or alcohol.

Am I gay? Explain to them as they mature to be attract to the same sex is not classified as being a homosexual. These feelings evolve as one matures, and they will determine the sexuality with time.

When will I be ready for sex? There is no shame in delaying sex. While there may be a lot of peer pressure to partake in sex there is no need to rush into it.

Remember, as a parent, it is important to educate your child to stay away from risky behaviors regarding drugs, alcohol and other intoxicants, and to imbibe you and your family’s values about sex with them. The channel of communication between you and your teenager must always be open and secure.

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.

Talking to your preteen about sex is an important responsibility as a parent.  The advice in this article will cover the age for 8-12 years of age, which are generally considered to be the preteen years. Please take into account that each child is different and matures at different milestones, so you conversation about sex with your child will need to be tailored specifically to their level of understanding and maturity.

In a previous article, I wrote about sex education for toddlers, this article is in continuation of the earlier.

It is unfortunate that many children learn about sex from anyone other than their parents. Playground talk, at best is inadequate and most likely will grossly ill inform your child about sex, and certainly will not impact the values that you would like to inculcate in your child regarding sex. It is my opinion that the parent is best equipped to explain sex to their child and impart your families values regarding sex to them.

Sex Education is not a marathon:

Don’t be under the misconception that sex education is one marathon discussion lasting for a couple of hours. Moreover, sex education for your preteen is an ongoing activity, best delivered in small nuggets.

Give Facts and Details:

Gentle explain to your child about reproduction and intercourse. Explain the process of creation of life, and preserve their innocence.

Refer to a book:

If you feel uncomfortable discussing sex with your preteen, purchase a book on the subject, and the both of you can read it together, and you can explain to them referring to this book.

Questions you may be asked:

Below are several questions that your preteen may ask about sex and some answers that you can give.

What is an erection?

You can answer this by saying that mostly a boy’s penis is soft, sometimes it gets hard and stands away from the body. This is an erection, this is also a good time to explain what a wet dream is.

What’s a period?

You can answer this by saying, “A period means that a girl’s body is mature enough to become pregnant.” You might offer details on bleeding and feminine hygiene products, thereby reducing the awkwardness when feminine sanitary pads are advertised on TV.

How do people have sex?

You can answer this by saying “The man puts his penis inside the woman’s vagina.” You can refer to age-appropriate books that you have purchased for your preteen on sex.

What’s masturbation?

You can answer this by saying “Masturbation is when a boy rubs his penis or a girl rubs her clitoris”. Remind your child that masturbation is a normal — but private — activity.

What is homosexuality?

You can answer this by saying “when a man has sex with another man or a woman has sex with another woman”

Preteen uncertainty:

Preteens will have a lot of anxiety about their bodies being normal. Girls will be stressed about their breasts size, and boys will stress about their penis and testicles side. As parent, you need to explain that puberty comes to different people at different times. Thus, during puberty body goes through changes.

In conclusion, use everyday instances from TV and movies to explain about relationships, dating, and marriage. Sex education for your preteen is an ongoing activity. Hence it’s not to be embarrassed about nor should it be a taboo topic.

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

 Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.

बच्चों की परवरिश  आसान  कार्य नही है,और कुछ ऐसी बातें हैं जो हर बच्चे का अपने बचपन में सुनना अनिवार्य है. दुर्भाग्या से ,अच्छी परवरिश पे कोई गाइडबुक उपलब्ध नही है. कई माता-पिता के लिए तो यह  ‘ कार्य दौरान प्राप्त ज्ञान’ का अनुभव हो जाता है. अधिकतर माता –पिता यह सुनिश्चित करते हैं कि वो उन ग़लतियों को ना दोहरायें ,जो उनके माता-पिता से उनकी परवरिश में हुई थी,पर दुर्भाग्यवश उन्ही ढाँचों में फिसल जाते हैं!

परवरिश का एक सबसे महत्त्वपूण पहलू होता है अपने शिशु से निसंकोच बातचीत. नीचे दिए गये ऐसे 7 वाक्य हैं जो हर माता-पिता का अपने बच्चों को कहना ज़रूरी है-

1. हम तुम्हें  बहुत प्यार करते हैं: माता-पिता होने के नाते आपका बच्चे के मन में ये सुदृढ़ करना अत्यावश्यक है कि आप उनसे अनियमित प्रेम करते हैं और हमेशा उनके लिए खड़े हैं.

२. हमे तुमपे गर्व है: आपके बच्चे को  पता एवं विश्वास होना चाहिए की आपको उसपे एवं उसकी उपलब्धियों पे बहुत गर्व है. हर बालक भिन्न है, हर बालक विशिष्ट है, अपने शिशु के प्रति अपने गौरव को  ज़रुर अभिव्यक्त करें.

३. हम क्षमा चाहते हैं: अपने बच्चे से क्षमा माँगने में कभी संकोच ना करें. कई परिस्थितियों में आप कोई विशेष दिवस,या जन्मदिन या स्कूल का कोई कार्यक्रम  भूल गये होंगे ,या आपसे कोई और चूक हुई होगी.ऐसे में अपने बच्चे से क्षमा माँगने में कोई शर्मिंदगी महसूस नही करें.

४. हमने तुम्हे माफ़ किया: बच्चे छोटी और बड़ी -दोनो तरह की ग़लतियाँ करते हैं. दरअसल ,गलती हर इंसान से होती है. जब आपका बच्चा  ग़लती करता है तो उसे माफ़ करें. इस प्रकार अपने बच्चे के साथ अपना रिश्ता और मज़बूत करते हुए आगे बढ़ें.

५. हम तुम्हारी बात सुन रहे हैं: सुन ना एक कला है,और अपने बच्चे की बातें सुनना अत्यावश्यक है.उनकी कहानियाँ,उनकी अभिलाषाएँ ,उनके सपने – अपने फोन और लॅपटॉप को बंद करें और ये सब चाव से सुनें.

६.ये तुम्हारी ज़िम्मेदारी है: अपने बच्चों को ज़िम्मेदारी दें, ज़िम्मेदार आदमी बनने में उनकी मदद करें. याद रखें ये अनुभूति उन्हे आपसे ही आएगी. इसलिए उन्हे उपयुक्त ज़िम्मेदारियाँ दें.

७. तुम में कुछ कर दिखाने वाली बात है: अपने बच्चे को निरंतर यह एहसास दिलाते रहें की उनमें वो सब करने की पूरी  क्षमता है, जो वो करना चाहते हैं. वो कुछ भी पा सकते हैं.

आख़िरकार हर बच्चे की स्फटलता की कुंजी होती है उसका अपने माता पिता के साथ सकारात्मक जुड़ाव. इसलिए आपका अपने बच्चे की ज़िंदगी के साथ जुड़ा रहना  आवश्‍यक है. याद रखें, एक मज़बूत बच्चे का निर्माण एक टूटे युवा को जोड़ने की अपेक्षा कई गुणा आसान है.

                            डॉक्टर प्रेरणा कोहली के बारे में

 डॉक्टर प्रेरणा कोहली का मानना है की ” आप अपनी परेशानियों के बारे में मित्रों और परिवार वालों से बात कर सकते हैं, पर वो एक प्रोफेशनल एवं प्रशिक्षित साइकॉलजिस्ट से परामर्श करने से बिल्कुल अलग है- जिन्हे ये पता है की आपको वास्तव में किस प्रकार के सहयता की आवश्यकता है”.

डॉक्टर  प्रेरणा कोहली “100 विमन अचीवर्स अवॉर्ड्स विन्नर (2016) से राष्ट्रपति डॉक्टर प्रणब मूखःएऱ्ज़ेए द्वारा पुरूस्कृत हैं.

डॉक्टर प्रेरणा एक क्लिनिकल मनोवैज्ञानिक, कुशल  प्रवक्ता,  कार्यशाला प्रशिक्षक हैं एवं समग्र चिकित्सक हैं. वह जीवन संतुलन ,आत्म जागरूकता ,आंतरिक शांति पे कार्यशालायें एवं व्याख्यान प्रदान करती हैं.अपने ज्ञान और करुणा को बाटने को स्मर्पित डॉक्टर प्रेरणा कोहली सहज ज्ञान एवम् ठोस समझ को मिश्रित कर एक ऐसा समग्र दृष्टिकोण प्रदान करती हैं, जिसकी विशेषता भावनात्मक परिवर्तन के क्षेत्रों में है.

डॉक्टर प्रेरणा कोहली भारत की एक प्रमुख मनोवैज्ञानिक हैं और शख्स, परिवार, माता पिता एवम् बच्चों को  खुश रहने  की प्रोफेशनल सलाह प्रदान करती हैं.

The unfortunate reality is that young children irrespective of the social and economic strata of the parents are vulnerable to sexual abuse. Sometimes it is the most trusted person who abuses the child. Furthermore, there is a belief that girls are more vulnerable than boys, this too is a myth. Children who have been sexually abused carry scars throughout their life, and it generally needs extensive therapy to help them accept and move on from having their bodies violated. This article discusses how a parent can educate their child about toddler sexual abuse.

While, as a parent, you can’t be around your child 24×7, you need to take steps to educate your child at an early stage as to what is sexual abuse, how they need to recognize and how they need to bring it to your attention immediately.  Just like you teach your child how to cross the road safely, or not play with matchsticks, in a similar and non-threatening manner you need to teach your children about sexual abuse.

The 7 points to remember in educating your toddler about sexual abuse are:

Talking about Sexual Abuse in not Taboo:

Make the conversation with your child non-threatening, easy and calm. Don’t be nervous or flustered when you explain sexual abuse to them. Don’t make them feel that talking about sex is dirty or a taboo.

Start talking to them about sexual abuse early:

At about the age of 2 years, it is time to start explaining them about sexual abuse. During their bath time, tell them that it is okay for the parents to help clean and see their private parts, but not for others. At an early age, the child should know that no one, including parents, should touch their private parts (what is covered by underwear) unless they are helping to clean them.

Teach them names for the sexual parts:

Just as we teach them “ear”, “nose”, “teeth” teach them “penis” and “vagina”. Teach them about the sexual organs of both the sexes, because the abuser may be of either sex. Frequently the abused girl child will complain about the stomach hurting, as she may not know the word for vagina.

Private Parts are Special:

Explain the difference to them between touching the private parts and cleaning them. They know the difference. Let them know that private parts are private and that they are not to allow anyone to touch theirs, or touch any other person parts, even if it feels tingly and good. Many times the abuser will make the child touch the abusers’ private parts.

Nobody can hurt them, including the private parts:

Explain to them that no one has the authority to touch or hurt their private parts, and if someone does so, they should tell you immediately.

Any secret is still a secret if share with you:

They should know that they can share any secret with you, and it still remains a secret.  The abuser many times, tells the child that it is their secret and not to be shared with anyone else.

Tell them that you will believe them if someone is hurting them:

Build the confidence with your child that you will believe them. They won’t be in trouble if they tell you when one is hurting them.

In conclusion, don’t have this conversation in one long marathon session. These conversations around sexual abuse with your child need to be ongoing and reinforced frequently. Thus being provided in small snippets which they can understand and retain.

 More About Dr. Prerna Kohli

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counselling on being happy.