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Just like alcoholism, there is no cure for porn addiction but only recovery. It is a continuous process that requires constant effort every day and consistently engaging with strategies that helped stop porn addiction.

Dr. Prerna Kohli

The path of recovery from addictions can be quite challenging since the addict has little or no control over their addiction, and no person should go through it alone. Addiction has severe effects on different aspects of the individual’s life. Porn addicts can have co-occurring mental issues along with the addiction, it adversely affects an individual’s personal and work relationships and the addict’s well-being. Hence, therapy is vital to help the individual’s through the process of de-addiction.

The therapist creates a non-judgmental and confidential space where the client can share their feelings without any hesitation. Therapy for porn addiction provides treatment in aspects of:

Treatment for co-occurring issues

Other mental illnesses and porn addiction can be co-occurring. Someone who has depression or anxiety could use porn as an avoidance mechanism and end up getting addicted to it. On the other hand, someone with porn addiction could manifest symptoms of depression because of the guilt & shame associated with it or anxiety as a withdrawal symptom. While, it is not sure what caused what, one thing is for sure i.e. such cases can be complicated to treat. So, the first step becomes to address the associated issues.

Individual therapy

Therapy not only helps the individual to navigate through porn addiction but also help maintain positive behavior in replacement for compulsive behavior, learn healthy coping mechanism. It also helps build up the client self-esteem, create awareness of their behavior patterns, set healthy boundaries. It also creates a better understanding of how the addiction is affecting them, what are the triggers and how to deal with it.

Family and couple therapy

Addicts often engage in hurtful behavior like lying and deceiving. It causes sexual dissatisfaction with real-life partners. Children of porn addicts might have stumbled upon explicit images which cause them damage and it can also cause discord in families. Family or couple therapy first of all help the family understand the addiction and then helps resolve all the presenting issues within the family.

If you or your loved one is going through porn addiction, do get in touch with an experienced psychologist to seek help.

To learn more about Dr Prerna Kohli click here

All images Courtesy Pixabay

Planning on your first therapy session? Awesome! It is normal to feel anxious about starting therapy or counseling.

Starting anything new brings a lot of anticipation and nerves, now combine that with opening up to a stranger. It is dreadful. Although there is no formal need to prepare for a therapy session, it is always better to be proactive, which will not only help to lessen the nerves but make for a successful first meeting with the therapist.

Some ways you can prepare before your first session:

Choose the right therapist

It is a good idea to learn about the therapists, consider clinic location, therapist fees before making an appointment with the therapist.

Learn about the therapists’ training, expertise and experience by visiting their website or by enquiring by call or email. Consider where the therapist is located and see if they are at a distance where you can travel to. Also, discuss the session fee and consider if the amount is something that you can afford as therapy takes weeks or months for treatment.

Think about what you want

It is important to think about why you are going to therapy and what you would like to gain from the therapy sessions so that you can have an internal timeline. It is also helpful to prepare any questions you might have to ask from the therapist.

Be as open as possible

Prepare yourself to try your best openly communicate your feelings and thoughts as it will help the therapist understand you better. We often get too rigid in our thoughts and disregard anyone’s opinion, go into therapy with an open mind sit and take the suggestions for a path forward.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions

Don’t shy away from asking questions to your therapist beforehand. You can ask them about how to relax your nerves before the session.

Make Plans after the sessions

Therapy takes a lot. Everyone has a different feeling after attending the session. Some feel exhausted, some feel motivated, some feel content. What is important is to make plans for after therapy which will help you to relax a little and help absorb the deep therapeutic session. Make go out for a walk after your session, or a coffee by yourself or with someone who makes you happy and supports you. Don’t crunch your session in between your schedule or work. Take your time to recover from the session.

To learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli click here

All images courtesy Pixabay

Therapy is the big step in the direction of recovery but it can be scary, especially when you don’t know what is it going to be like.

Dr. Prerna Kohli

Therapy is not a pill that you will take and feel better instantly, in fact, it is a lot of hard work and consistency. A lot of time people come to me with the unrealistic expectation that therapy will work like a magic wand and cure them of their problems.

Your first session with the therapist will be different from future sessions. The aim of the initial visit is for you and your therapist to get to know each other and get an idea of how things while be proceeding in future sessions. Future sessions will be more therapeutic than the initial contact.

Initial contact

At first, your therapist might start the session with some informal talk to build a rapport with you. They may ask about your day and some normal small talk. This helps build a connection and trust in the therapeutic relationship. This makes it easier to talk to a stranger about ‘big things’.

A lot of questions are going to be asked

The Therapist like any other stranger who is trying to get to know you will ask a lot of questions to get to know you better. These questions help the therapist understand you and the problems that you are facing. Demographic information is taken along with other question like:

• If you have attended therapy before?
• Some questions about your history including your childhood, education, relationships (family, romantic, friends), your current living situation, career
• Questions related to your current living situation, lifestyle, and career
• What do you feel is wrong with your life?
• What are your symptoms?
• Difficult question as well like, do you have suicidal thoughts or have you ever tried to harm yourself?

Discussion about the treatment plan

you and your therapist together will work to decide your therapy goals. Depending on these goals and issues therapy can last a few sessions to several weeks or months. Therapy takes time, so try and be patient and work with the therapist. Discuss setting future sessions weekly or twice in a week depending upon your need.

 Feedback

Any questions or doubts are welcomed and will be discussed. Some questions that you can ask the therapist:

The big part of a successful session is feeling comfortable with your therapist, which may come over time. However, if after a few meetings you are not clicking, you can discuss your concern with the therapist and seek help from another professional.

To learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli click here

All images courtesy Pixabay

How the Easing the Burden of Care

When someone is ill, be it mentally or physically it becomes very difficult for them to manage everything. But, it is more of a difficult task for the caretaker of the person who is ill. It becomes a challenging and a very stressful task for the caretaker to care for the ill person.

Thus, for the caretaker, it can also increase the chances of extreme stress, anxiety or even depression. Also, due to this stress, the caretaker slowly moves towards a burnout. But, the caretaker is always hesitant to hand over their duties, because they feel like, no one else would be able to handle the situation efficiently as they could.

Thus, below are some tips on easing the burden of care for the caretaker:

Recharge:

While taking care of someone, it is absolutely okay to take breaks for oneself. One needs to keep their own well-being in mind while taking care of the other person. Many people refuse to take breaks because after that they feel guilty. But, there is nothing to be guilty about because it is for your own as well as their good.

Setting Limits:

While taking care of someone we often forget our own limitations. We tend to give our hundred percent to everything we do. Thus, end up creating an impossible to-do list. It’s very important to know our own limits and know what we can do and we cannot. You can also take help of a family member if you are not able to set up limits for yourself.

Proper sleep and Eating:

Often more than less, the most effective area for the caretaker is their eating and sleeping habits. While taking care of someone, we forget to take care of ourselves and many nights we are not able to sleep or usually skip a meal in a day. But, it is very important to eat a balanced meal and have proper sleep while taking care of someone. It keeps your energy recharged and you are able to focus on the caregiving process better.

Rotation of Shift:

One of the best ways to ease the burden of care is to take turns. If someone is sick, it doesn’t become your sole responsibility to take care of the person. If each family member takes turns to take care of the person then it doesn’t feel stressful for only one person. Thus, dividing the tasks and able to help the person in a much better way.

Explore other Options:

It becomes very difficult for someone to hand over the caring duties of the loved one. But, it is important to look at professional options. Also, while searching for professional options it is better the take the choices of the person receiving the care. It is also very important to do a thorough background check on the agency you are hiring. Hiring a professional will ease your stress levels and it will also help the person who is receiving the care.

It is a difficult and a very stressful task to take care of your loved ones. But, it is okay to take some respite for yourself. But, if you think you are taking care of someone and are feeling very stressed, it is not a bad option to look for professional help for yourself.

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Hard times can come to anybody. It can be disguised as a financial crisis, or a failure in an exam, and even a death in the family. In this situation, people tend to lose their mental stability and fall victim to various mental health illnesses. It affects the family and friends, creating a havoc in life. Thus, it is important to stay strong during these tough times.

Hence, below are few tips to stay strong during tough times:

Quit Being the Victim:

It’s very easy to feel like the victim in these situations. Which hampers your ability to think clearly, as well as you start to reject help which is coming from outside. Instead, you should take responsibility for what has happened. Thus, by doing this, you will be able to let go of resentments and bitterness and will be able to think clearly.

Focusing on the Positives:

When we go through tough times, it becomes very difficult to focus on the positives. You can list out the positives by maintaining a diary. In any situation, there are always some positive things, no matter how dire the situation is. Looking for the positive in the situation will help you relax and gain your mental stability.

Being Thankful:

We need to be thankful in face of any situation. Thanking about the current situation will help you look at the positives and take you out from self-pity or wallowing. Thanking about the things you have and didn’t get destroyed will focus on the positives and will broaden the structure you are seeing in.

Reach Out:

Helping others and taking help from others is not a shameful thing. Reaching out for help will actually provide you with a broader sense of the situation. It can help you find the closure you would need or the solution you were trying to find for. Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness, but it’s about being ready to explore what is outside the spectrum. Also, helping someone who is in need, no matter how dire your situation is, can provide you with a new perspective.

Limit Bad News:

The impact of any bad news increases ten folds if we keep on hearing the same thing again and again. Instead, it is better to limit the intake of the bad news. There is no need to hear the same thing from ten different people or social media platforms. Limiting the intake will help you absorb the news better and faster.

Get Rest and Sleep:

It is difficult to get rest or sleep when the times are hard and stressful. But, it is important to get proper rest and sleep during these times. Sleeping will help in restarting the body and the mind and you will be able to think better. Thus, to help you fall asleep you can resort to white noise and avoid taking any gadgets on your bed.

Exercise:

To channelize your tensions and emotions exercising is always a good option. It can also help you to fall asleep as it can tire your body out. Exercising can help you clear your mind and help you think clearly what steps you need to take. Thus, exercising doesn’t only mean going to the gym but just walking around a park or playing a sport.

Reflecting:

Reflecting back on yourself is very important. But, reflecting back doesn’t mean in self-pity, but to look at the actions you have had taken in the past. Thus, by reflecting on yourself you will be able to take better steps and decisions for your future. Hence, being ready for something which can go wrong.

Having support during tough times is very important. The above steps can help you stay strong during these times. But, if you feel like you require outside help, then you should not hesitate to ask a psychologist or a counsellor.

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At the end of an emotionally abusive relationship, you might feel burdened with inconclusive thoughts and overwhelming emotions. And this is absolutely acceptable. While your friends and family feel thankful for your break-up, they may not be able to understand the emotional turmoil going inside your heart and brain. But you should not carry on with toxic relationship

Let’s look at the end of an abusive relationship from the following aspects:

Mental and Emotional Health

Post being dumped by the person whom you considered to be your one and only soul mate, you might go through a roller coaster of emotions. The symptoms are often similar to that of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
There might not be any visible scars to make it obvious that you are hurt, but the pain is similar to that of a physical injury.
You might even show obsessive behaviour, where you constantly think about your ex, your break up.
The more the covert these symptoms are, the more damage it can do to your emotional stability and the ability to overcome the trauma.

Attachment or Addiction?

When two people part their ways in a healthy way, they may feel hurt, but it does not take a psychological toll on the two persons involved. They eventually move on as a practical approach was followed to end the relationship. But in an emotionally abusive relationship, the break up isn’t as clean, rather the abuser is manipulative.
The victim might not recognize signs and develop an emotional attachment towards them.
You might re-run the events from your relationship in your mind several times throughout the day or read the old conversations.
Being with a person becomes addictive over a period of time, like an unhealthy attachment. It might seem normal and justified to the victim, but this really hampers their emotional well-being.

Moving on!

The first step to moving on is to accept your situation. A few things that you could do to overcome such a relationship are:

Take care of your emotions

Repairing your emotions requires great efforts. When you get abandoned by someone you are so addicted to, it affects your self-esteem negatively. You can feel used and discarded, angry and isolated. Instead of suppressing and being a home to them, it is very important that you accept and acknowledge your emotions. Recognize how you feel. You can make a journal about the same. If you feel like crying or screaming, do that.

Pen it down

At times it might be difficult for you to talk about your broken relationship and what all you went through in that. But it is important to express in order to heal. To start with, you can keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions, gradually opening up about it verbally.

Confide in Close ones

You can always count on your close friends and families when you feel the need to. Surround yourself with people. Avoid isolating yourself with your thoughts all the time.

Cut-off contact with the abuser

You need to cut off the contact with your ex. Being vulnerable might drag you to his doors, but this would be unhealthy. It is important to maintain a distance when you part ways with your abuser. You may feel a pull towards him, but remember it is unhealthy for your mental health if you remain connected to him.

Do not stalk

It may seem like a nice idea to keep a tab on your ex by stalking him on social media or keeping in touch with his friends. But this is not ideal. You must focus investing your time and energy on yourself rather than knowing about his whereabouts.

Postpone important decisions

In the times, when you are emotionally unstable it is better to not make any important life decisions, which may affect your future. Let yourself feel and heal for some time first.

Practice patience

For a physical injury to heal there is always a defined set of medicines and treatment method that one follows and gets okay. But for an emotional setback, you need to give yourself time. Every person takes their own time to get out of an emotional difficulty. Focus on your progress.

Seek Help

If your emotions are way out of control and are hindering with your daily life, you should seek for some professional help. In the times, when we are vulnerable, we might not be in the right state of mind to be emotionally efficient. A bit of advice about situation and lifestyle changes by a professional can prove to be of great help.

Are you in a healthy relationship? Have you been a victim of emotional abuse?

Call us for 15 minutes of free counselling at +91=9069069069.

Most of the teachers your child meets are good or even excellent. But, there are few teachers who will try and bully your child. Sometimes, some teacher considers and take their responsibilities as a post of power. Hence, they start bullying your child and try to make them work very hard. Moreover, even when the work is completed, your child is yet scolded than praised for his/her efforts. you shoul take Psychologist advice.

These days physical bullying is still reported, but emotional and psychological bullying is hard to report. Also, most of the parents ignore the plea of the child when the child complains about their teachers. Hence, the reports of bullying teacher are not much. But, it becomes your duty, as a parent, to listen to what your child is saying and take action against the bully.

Thus, below are few tips to Handle a Bully Teacher:

Keep a Record:

Whenever your child comes to you with a complaint about the same teacher, it is important to note down the date, time and what has been said. If other students are also involved or are seeing what is happening, it is a good option to take their account also. Also, if the bullying is extreme, or physical or cyber, then it is best to report to the authorities.

Support Your Child:

It’s important to reassure your child every time they come to you for help. An important part of parenting is to listen to your child and understand their plea. If you see signs of depression or anxiety in your child then please don’t hesitate to visit a psychologist.

Build Self-Esteem:

When your child is going through the experience of bullying, especially by a teacher, their self-esteem starts taking damage. Hence, it is important to boost their self-esteem constantly. You can do that by encouraging their strengths, and activities they like to do. Thus, talking about things other than bullying will help them take their mind off the situation.

Talk to Your Child before a Visit:

As bullying is a serious matter, directly discussing it with the teacher(s) might have repercussions. Hence, it is important to talk with your child first before visiting the teacher. Also, talking and informing about your visit will prepare your child emotionally.

Go through the Chain of Commands:

Before directly going to the highest authority, it is important to follow the chain of commands. A person who is present at the situation will be able to understand the situation better, rather than the person who doesn’t know what is happening. Also, if you directly approach the people who are at the top, they might ask who has sent you to them, or who have you already talked to.

Request a Meeting with the Teacher:

It is important to meet the teacher directly. This way, you will be able to listen to their side also. Also, refrain yourself from shouting, accusing or getting angry. It is important to handle the situation as a mature adult. Also, if you are ready to listen to the teacher’s side the person will be less defensive as they will understand that you are open to perspectives.

Take your Complaint higher if necessary:

Many times, the teacher will resort to blaming, justifying or even not acknowledging the situation. At this point, you can always approach the higher authorities, with all your documentation. If you see, that the principal is also supporting the teacher then take the case to the members of the board.

Do not Let the Bullying continue:

If you see, that even the board members are not taking any action, or not doing anything to help you can always opt for legal actions. Meanwhile, it is advisable to take your child out of the situation and consider a transfer of schools.

Bullying is a serious offence and leaves a huge impact in a child’s life. Hence, it is important to not let this matter go unchecked. Bullying cannot stop without intervention. If you feel that it is still continuing, then it is best to take legal actions and transfer your child to a different school.

Also, if you feel that your child is suffering from any kind of bullying, it is important that you take him to a mental health professional. This is because bullying can have severe repercussions in a child’s mind.

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September 06, 2018, will mark an important day for the LGBT community in India. The Supreme Court of India abolished Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code (IPC).  This law came into effect in the year 1982. It stated that the carnal intercourse against the order of nature with man, woman or animal was punishable with imprisonment of a lifetime or at least 10 years of jail, with or without fine.

Today’s judgment symbolizes the beginning of unbiased treatment for the LGBTQ community in our country. For a very long time, the community has been harassed and struggled. They had been treated as the discarded sections, always. But the decision of abolishing Section 377 is a huge initiation in terms of equality.

Chief justice Dipak Misra and Justices DY Chandrachud, AM Khanwilkar, Indu Malhotra, and Rohinton Fali Nariman decreed that LGBTQ community will now have the same sexual rights just like everyone else.

The Journey

In 2009, Delhi High court had declared that any consensual sexual act between homosexuals in private is not illegal. But later, Justice G S Singhvi did not validate the decision and said that it is on the members of Parliament to make any decision on the topic.

However, in April 2014, the Supreme Court suggested the government to declare transgender as the third sex and should be able to practice all the rights under the law and also asked the community in the OBC category. Naz Foundation in April 2016 filed a petition and the Chief Justice, TS Thakur decided to review the same along with a constitutional bench of 5 other members.

The Verdict

Finally, following the small steps over the time, here is the decision, taken for the welfare of the LGBTQ community. From the common man to the United Nations, everyone is praising the decision. There is a wave of happiness all over the country.

The Psychological Benefits of the verdict

The verdict is the right step in the direction of equality as there will be no victimization or labelling of any alternate sexuality. This might not end discrimination totally, but this will open the doors of acceptance for people of the LGBT community. The harassment and blackmailing of the gay people will stop, which had actually been one of the major reasons in the past for them to remain in the closet. The homosexuals who married the opposite sex due to the stigma can come out now, ending their unhappy marriages.

Accepting others for who they are is the biggest support one can give each other. Sexuality is not an acquired trait, its very much natural.

All the protests and demonstrations finally end in a fruitful result. From here on, there will be hearts full of love and heads held up high with pride.

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A marriage is made up of dreams and aspirations of two people. But, it is not always necessary that two people will always have their “happily ever after”. Sometimes, the marriage becomes a prison for both of the partners involved. Hence, divorce becomes the only solution. But, even after divorce, many times people go through a tough time. They go through grief, pain, sadness along with other negative feelings.

Thus, because of all this pain and grief, it becomes very difficult to move on. But, it is important to remind yourself that sooner or later you will get through this situation.

Hence, below are 7 tips on how to cope up after the divorce:

Face the Feelings:

Going through a divorce evokes a lot of feelings, including grief, relief, pain, anger etc. It is important to face these feelings instead of running away from them. Identifying and acknowledging these feelings is often painful, but it is necessary as well. If you ignore these feelings then it will only prolong the grieving process.

Don’t go through this alone:

As it is a harsh time, the tendency is always towards isolating yourself. Isolation will not help you in coping with your feelings. Thus, it is necessary to talk to someone. If you feel the need, then you can also talk to a therapist or a marriage counsellor.

Talk about the Feelings:

Talking about your feelings is difficult but it is necessary also. Talking about your feelings to people who are close to you, will help you in coping up with the feelings. Thus, people around you who know about your feelings will make you feel less alone. Alternatively, you can also start writing a journal where you can write about your feelings.

Give Yourself a Break:

After the divorce, it is very difficult to resume your daily activities or job at a normal pace. Thus, it is important to give yourself the break and time you need to heal. It is not possible that everyone can function at their 100% every time. Hence, don’t be too harsh on yourself if you are not able to work like you used to work before.

Moving on should be the desired end:

Talking about your feelings and sharing them is a big step forward. But, it is also important to not dwell on these feelings for too long. Thus, it is important to remember that the final goal is to move on rather than getting tangled within these feelings.

There is still a Future:

As mentioned earlier, a marriage is a bond of not just two people but, of their dreams, aspirations and hope for the future. Hence, after a divorce, these dreams of the future crumble down, which increases the sadness. But, it is important to remember that going through a divorce is not the end of the future. There will be new dreams and hopes which will take over soon.

Understand the difference between a normal reaction and Depression:

It’s very important to understand the difference between a normal reaction to a divorce and entering into a depressive phase. In the normal reaction, these feelings will slowly fade away, and you will move on. But, if you find nothing is changing, and these feelings aren’t going away, then it might be that you are entering into a depressive phase.

Going through a divorce is a very difficult period. Most of the times, it does lead to depression for either of the partners. Hence, if you or someone you know is going through a divorce, or suffering from depression because of the same, then please visit a mental health professional immediately.

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Autism or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) happens because of a neurobiological dysfunction. The symptoms of ASD start showing up when the child is about two to three years of age. The symptoms include, loss of social interaction and communication, repetitive and restricted behaviour, has an unusual tone for voice, failing to respond and many more.

A child who is suffering from ASD starts getting irritated a lot and throws a lot of tantrum. Most of the times, parents misjudge this behaviour as behavioural problems and hence not truly able to understand the child. Hence, as a parent, it is necessary to understand the child and what they are actually feeling. To know this a parent should understand about ASD. Hence, below are the Symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Signs & Symptoms:

As mentioned earlier, the child who is suffering from ASD usually shows two main symptoms, one loss of social interactions and second repetitive behaviour.

Loss of Social Interaction:

• Making very less eye contact or no eye contact
• Is not able to listen to people. Thus, not able to concentrate on what others are speaking.
• Rarely is able to show the enjoyment they are experiencing while showing something they like.
• Unable to respond to or slow response when someone is calling them.
• Is not able to comprehend sentences while going back and forth.
• Continuously keeps on talking about the same thing, even when the other person has lost interest.
• Incompatible facial expressions, gestures or movements with what they are saying.
• There is a robotic tone or unusual tone when they are speaking.
• Is not able to understand other person’s view and is unable to predict or understand others actions.

Repetitive Behaviour:

• They tend to repeat certain behaviours or phrases over and over again.
• They have a very lasting interest in certain topics which include facts, numbers or details.
• Also, they focus on certain things too much. That is, overly focused on certain objects or things.
• They love their routines. A slight change in their routine upsets them.
• They are more or less sensitive to certain inputs compared to normal people. This may include, light, touch, temperature etc.

These signs may not be present in everyone suffering from ASD, but most of them do. Also, Autism is detected not only in children but also it can be diagnosed in an adult. Those who are suffering from Autism might also have sleep problems along with irritability.

But, a child suffering from autism among these challenges has strengths also.

Strengths are:

• They are able to learn things in details and also remember that information for a very long time.
• They are very strong visual and auditory learners.
• Also, they show excellence in arts, maths, science or music.

The Scientists are still figuring out why this actually happens to a child. It may be because of genes or very low birth weight. But, it is still uncertain why exactly this happens. Hence, it is better not to ponder over that question, instead, a parent should help and support their child.

An early diagnosis is a preferred way. Hence, an early diagnosis will lead to an early treatment. Thus, if your child or someone you know is suffering from this, or you think they are suffering from ASD then please visit a child psychologist or a psychiatrist for help.

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