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Marriage is a bond, not just between two human beings, but their families also. But, it is not always a good experience throughout. It sometimes has its ups and sometimes its downs. But, to actually identify an unhappy marriage is difficult. It becomes more difficult to know when your marriage has turned unhappy when you have been married for too long.

Hence, below are 7 Signs of an Unhappy Marriage

1. No Sharing With Each Other:

When two people are living together but do not have anything to share with each other, then it is the first sign. But, it is possible that the two people have reached a level of understanding that they can enjoy the silence together. A couple who have been married for a very long time can reach the level of understanding. But, when there is love-lessness in the atmosphere and the silence is awkward, then it becomes a warning sign.

2. No Common Interest Left:

When two people start growing apart from each other, their common interests starts fading away. Earlier, they used to enjoy doing at least one thing together. But, when the common interests aren’t there, then the marriage has turned unhappy. Even they have been married for years, there will be still one fun thing to do, to keep the fun alive in a marriage filled with love.

3. Emotional Affairs:

When living with a spouse, your partner becomes your ear. You are able to share anything and everything with him/her. Talking to him/her makes you feel happy and comforting. But, when you are not able to do so, and find comfort in sharing your innermost and deepest thoughts with others, then it is a warning sign. Thus, in an unhappy marriage, you will not be willing to share your secrets with your spouse and will find comfort in someone other while sharing.

4. Don’t Have any Complaints:

It’s very rare that two people living together don’t have any complaints from each other. These couples have a deeper understanding of what their partner is doing and what are their positives and negatives. But, if you are living in a marriage, where you have a lot of complaints but are unwilling to say them to your spouse, then it is another warning sign. Hence, if you feel like complaining is a waste of breath or time, then it is probably because the marriage is unhappy.

5. Frequently Disrespecting each other:

In a loveless marriage, the frequency of arguments increases a lot. The couple starts disrespecting each other by name calling, curse words or purposeful words which will hurt the other person. Sometimes, it also takes the turn of domestic violence, when different things are thrown each other, or one of them hits the others.

6. Lack of Trust:

When living in an unhappy marriage, you stop trusting your spouse completely. Trust is one of the basic foundations of marriage. If you or your partner start questioning and doubting each other, then you are actually living in an unhappy marriage.

7. Drinking or Drug Use:

When people are in an unhappy marriage, they often tend to “drown” their feelings with alcohol, cigarettes, or other kinds of drugs. Thus, helping them to escape the reality and even facing their spouse. If this behaviour is sudden, and without any reason then it might be possible that it is because of an unhappy marriage.

Living in an unhappy marriage can lead to various mental health issues, including depression, anxiety or panic attacks. If you think or you know about someone who is living in an unhappy marriage, then please consult with a marriage counsellor immediately.

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It is a well-known fact that there is a direct connection between the body and the mind. The body gets hurt and the mind reacts. Similarly, when the mind is hurt, the body reacts. Thus, when someone is suffering from depression, the body starts to wear down, and sleep starts to evade. But, it is not a fight to be won just with medicines, or therapy. Hence, it is important to use all the resources available to us to fight depression.

One of the biggest resource available to us is food. It is understandable that, when someone is suffering from depression, the hunger fades away. But, it is important to keep your body energized with proper nutrients. Also, proper well-balanced food can actually help fight depression.

Thus, below are seven foods that help fight depression:

1. Yoghurt:

Yoghurt helps in elevating the mood. It directly affects the gut, and the gut has a direct connection with the brain. Hence, yoghurt with probiotics helps release serotonin, which helps fight depression. Thus, adding yoghurt to your meals can help you elevate your mood.

2. Cashew Nuts:

Cashew nuts are high in magnesium, and magnesium helps in mood elevation. Low magnesium in the body increases the chances of depression. Hence, adding cashew nuts in your daily diet will help you fight depression.

3. Broccoli:

Broccoli contains many nutrients and nutritional benefits. It is the only vegetable which provides more nutrients than any kind of meat. Also, it is the only vegetable which contains the highest amount of chromium. Chromium helps in the release of serotonin and norepinephrine, the two chemicals which most of the anti-depressants contains.

4. Carrots:

We have all heard that carrots help with better eye-sight. But, it is a very less known fact that carrots also help elevate mood. Carrots contain a nutrient known as lutein, which is an antioxidant. Thus, lutein helps in elevate mood and even control the waistline.

5. Spinach:

One of the most nutrient filled vegetable is spinach. We have all seen in the cartoon, “Popeye the Sailorman” how spinach provides him with an immense amount of strength. Similarly, it provides you with an immense amount of strength to fight depression as it is filled with lutein, fibre, Vitamin A and K, and many more. All these nutrients have a direct relationship with brain and elevating mood.

6. Tomatoes:

Tomatoes are full of folic acid and alpha lipoic acid which are one of the strongest fighters of depression. Presence of folic acid helps prevents the secretion of chemicals which causes depression. Hence, adding tomatoes to your diet will help you elevate your mood and generally make you feel happy.

7. Apple:

Lastly, we have all heard the phrase, “An apple a day, keeps the doctor away”. This same line goes for depression. An apple contains high levels of anti-oxidants which if taken with other foods mentioned above can help you elevate your mood.

While eating food, there is one thing we actually skip out on.

So, apart from these seven foods, there is one additional tip below:

Water:

Usually, people forget to drink the required amount of water to regulate the purities and impurities within the body. Hence, water becomes the most important drink in fighting depression. Beverages which contain soda or sweeteners increase the intensity of depression, as it increases the levels of sugar inside the body. Hence, being rehydrated with water keeps your body healthy and helps you control your mood.

Filling your diet with proper nutrients and right levels of protein can help in the fight with depression. But, along with proper food intake, it is also necessary to take proper treatment. Hence, if you or someone you know is suffering from depression, please visit a mental health professional immediately.

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The trauma one goes through when they are abused as a child remains prevalent for a lifetime. Most of the survivors of sexual abuse suffer from severe mental illnesses. The trauma suffered remains with them, which hampers and interferes with their life. It is also seen that about 90% of the survivors suffer from dreading nightmares. here we tell you 7 ways to Cope If You Were Sexually Abused as a Child.

It is important for people who have suffered such trauma to recover from it.

Thus, below are Seven things you can do if you were sexually abused as a child:

It’s Not Your Fault:

Firstly, the most important thing to know and understand is, that it is not your fault. The mind keeps on rotating about what exactly happened and creates a tendency for self-blame. For Example, it might keep telling you, you shouldn’t have entered that room, or you should have done something at that point in time. But, there are situations which are not in our hands, and it is important to know that. The only person who is at fault is the perpetrator.

A Positive Diary:

Coping up with this trauma is difficult and it creates fear and anxiety within us. Hence, it is important to keep a positive diary with us. The definition of a positive diary is, that you keep writing small motivating notes in the diary and keep that diary with yourself. Whenever the thought of guilt, shame comes to your mind you glance at the diary. This way, you are motivating yourself and simultaneously coping up with your trauma. The world might seem a scary place, but if we look at the positives, then coping up becomes easier.

Talk to Someone:

All the thoughts and feelings inside us, eat us up. Hence, it is important to find a person who you trust, and who wouldn’t judge you. Talking about your feelings will help you cope with it. If all these years you have bottled up these feelings, talking about it will put you at ease. Also, it will lighten your heart and help you to have a better sleep.

Engage in Contemplative Practice:

To keep your body and mind in harmony and to feel control about your body, it is important to engage yourself in contemplative practices. These practices can include, yoga, tai-chi, meditation, prayer etc. But, doing these creates an insight and helps you realize your feelings and thoughts. Everyone’s spiritual finding is different. Hence it is important to find yours.

It’s OK to feel your Feelings:

Often more than not, the basic tendency for anyone is to numb their feelings after trauma. They resort to drinking, smoking or other drugs to get rid of the thoughts. But, using these modes to cope up your feelings makes it worse. The thoughts come back again, and it then leads to worsening the situation. Also, many people due to this fall prey to addiction. Emotions which you feel, are necessary because it also gives the hope that you can also feel happiness. It is important to remember, only after the darkest night comes the brightest day.

Don’t Self-Medicate:

Due to this traumatic experience, people often suffer from severe mental health issues. Their first tendency is to self-medicate. Hence, making the situation worse. Thus, it is not advisable to do self-medication. You should always take professional help before taking any medication. Thus, making the medication actually helping you rather than making the situatiion worse.

Seek Professional Help:

There is nothing to be guilty about or hide from. Seeking a mental health professional will help you cope up with the trauma. Most of the times, we believe that healing isn’t possible from such trauma. But, healing is possible even though it might take time. A mental health professional will help you sail through the journey and you will be able to recover from the trauma you have had suffered.

Hence, if you or someone you know has gone through the experience of childhood sexual abuse, and are facing different mental health problems because of this, then please visit a professional immediately.  

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In a world statistical survey, it is seen that one in three girls and one in seven boys are sexually abused as a child.

Often more than less, it is done by people who are around us and not someone strange. The person can be the trusted servant, the maid, the cook, the cousin brother or sister, step-father, the uncle and sometimes even by the father and/or the mother. People we love, we cherish often break us and our trust.

The touch begins as play, and it is difficult to understand as a child, the why. Most of the times the child doesn’t even understand what is going on with them. Until it is too late for them to know. All these leave a dreadful memory as an adult, and the person is clouded by shame and guilt.

Many times, survivors of sexual abuse wish that the person who abused them would have been a stranger. Thus, making it easier for the others to understand what they went through, and moreover make others believe them.

But, sadly around ninety percent of time children are molested and abused by someone they loved, admired or were close to.

Most often than not, people who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse suffer from serious mental health issues. Some are constantly haunted by the memories, and some become paranoid about situations. But, most people are afraid to open up about their experience. It is after all their loved ones who did it, and no one believed them then, so why would they believe them now.

Hence, due to all these thoughts most survivors never open up. But, it is important to know and understand that it is nothing to be ashamed of, and it was not your fault. Talking about the experience helps you to heal from it, and taking help to heal yourself doesn’t mean that you have done something wrong.

The feelings of guilt, shame and sadness follow the person who is a survivor of sexual abuse. Hence, it becomes a struggle of their own pain and nightmares, and trauma and troubles related to sex or fears related to parenting. Talking about the experience is waging a war against these feelings and the whole experience itself. There have been several instances where sexual abuse survivors have successfully fought against their abusers, thus simultaneously fighting with their own feelings and guilt.

It is a very difficult and traumatic experience for the child, and fighting for your own truth and justice makes it even more difficult. But, fighting with your feelings of guilt and shame is what someone must do.

No one deserves to go through such experience and re-live it again and again.

Thus, opening up about it is the first step anyone can take.

Recently, there have been many famous celebrities who are coming forward with their own experience. People who are survivors can muster and gather strength from these reports and come forward and open up about their own feelings.

The problem faced by many survivors is not that they don’t know who abused them, or where they are now, but the underlying shame of not being able to protect themselves or others and going through the horrible experience of abuse. They feel guilty about having been innocent, naïve, gullible, exploitable and incapable of defending oneself.

Hence, if you or someone you know has gone through the similar experience, it is time to open up.

Don’t be afraid, because you are not at fault.

Also, the implications of the abuse suffered, results in various mental illnesses. Thus, it is important to speak up about it to a mental health professional as soon as possible.

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There is a certain innocence with children, which helps them to understand things in a different way. Even when they are being sexually abused or harassed, they don’t understand what is happening. Sometimes, it comes as a play for them and sometimes as a scolding. But, they don’t realise or even understand what is actually happening with them.

For parents, it becomes very difficult to actually know that it has happened, and even when it has happened they don’t usually believe it has happened. Mostly, it is done by their close relatives, siblings or servants working inside the house. Hence, the first step for the parents becomes to accept that it can happen or, if the child is telling them then it has happened. Moreover, it is not the child’s fault that it has happened. Also, it is important for the parents to actually talk with them and educate them.

Thus, below are few ways you can initiate a conversation with your child about sexual harassment and assault:

A Separate Time:

Initiating a conversation around this topic is heavy. It is taxing for you as a parent and for them as a child. Hence, it is important for you to actually find separate time to talk about and around this topic. It is important that you need to find a time when there aren’t any stressors around, and there is very less of distraction. Thus, helping you to properly converse and listen.

Use understandable Terms:

Many parents are afraid to talk about it because they think it will corrupt their mind. But, the truth is, due to advancement in technology, the words are easily accessible. Also, when talking to them, it is important that you reach out to them. You, as a parent, can do that by using terms and words that are easily understood by a child. You can term sexual harassment as “bullying”. Also, you can provide them with sex education, where they should know and understand what their private part is and what restrictions mean.

Take references from Movies:

Movies and pop culture give an opening for a conversation. With easily accessible media, you can educate your child about sexual harassment, assault and sex education. For example, if someone in the movie uses a cuss word, which is demeaning, you can ask them if they know what it means. Using pop culture and movie references will help them understand this topic much easier and help them to open up about it.

Listen:

It is very important to listen to them and understand them. During the conversation, they might open up to their own experiences, in that situation, instead of asking questions to them or criticizing them “just being there for them” is all the help they need. Most of the times, they do want to speak to you about their experience, but they stop themselves from sharing fearing your judgement. Hence, it is important for you to listen to them.

Be open for future Conversations:

Having this conversation once with your child doesn’t actually help. You should talk to them about it at different ages. Having the conversation once with them and leaving it on them doesn’t actually help them. But, it is also important that they should know you are always ready to listen to them. As they grow, the experience for them changes, hence it is important for you to have a conversation with them time to time.

Childhood sexual abuse, assault and harassment are very common, but most of them are afraid to speak up. It is important for the parent to make them understand that No Means No! These conversations should happen with both, boy and girl. It is important that they should be educated, and if they are abused they could easily talk to you, their biggest support.

Also, if your child complains about someone sexually harassing them, then it is important for you to report to proper authorities.

If you or someone you know have experienced a similar situation and is suffering from different mental health issues because of it. Then, it is best to talk to a mental health professional immediately.

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Insomnia is a sleeping disorder that involves trouble with falling asleep or staying asleep. We all have days when we find it hard to fall asleep, or wake up sooner than we had planned on. This can happen due to several reasons such as being extremely stressed or physically exhausted. While this problem is known as transient insomnia as it is experienced for some time and does not have long-lasting negative impacts on one’s health and well-being, chronic insomnia is when one starts to have such nights at least three nights a week for over a period three months or more. Chronic insomnia can be a result of environmental, psychological and/or physical issues. Here we give you 7 Signs you have Insomnia.

Mentioned below are symptoms of insomnia –

• Trouble falling asleep.
• Difficulty staying asleep. Waking up in the midst of the night and then having trouble falling back asleep.
• Waking up early in morning.
• Not feeling fresh after sleeping (known as non-restorative sleep). Experiencing low energy or fatigue most of the time.
• Difficulty in concentrating, retaining or remembering information.

  

• Feeling irritable, acting impulsively or aggressively.
• Lack of muscle coordination, slowing down of reflexes, and headaches.

Identify signs of insomnia that you may have using the following tips –

• Assess how long it takes you to fall asleep.
• Monitor your sleep. If you wake up in the midst of the night, note down the time. See how many hour of continuous sleep you are getting.
• See if you don’t feel well-rested and refreshed after sleeping, or feel tired during the day.

  

• Monitor for mood changes. Make sure your insomnia is not the result of some other psychological disorder such as anxiety or depression.

As a result of these cognitive impairments, mood disturbances, and behavioral problems, one might face trouble not just at school or work, but also in one’s personal life. Other than affecting one’s productivity, insomnia can affect one’s relationships and enjoyment of life as well.

If left untreated, over time insomnia can have negative effects on one’s general overall health, making one more prone to illnesses such as heart diseases, obesity, diabetes and hypertension. If you too are experiencing chronic insomnia, then make sure you seek professional help.

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We spend almost more than half of our day with our co-workers. For some, their co-workers are like friends. We work together, celebrate successes together, face failures together, complain about our bosses, have good days and bad. And yet sometimes, when we lose one of our co-workers, we don’t know how to grieve their death. Especially when our relationship is restricted to the workspace, and thought we share more than a cordial relationship with them, we may not consider them as friends. As a result, we fail to realize how much of a role they play in our lives.

Our friends and family may be unaware of their existence, and their friends and family of ours. This makes the grieving more difficult as people around don’t realize the kind of impact our co-worker might have had on our lives. We might feel unsure about the extent to which we can and should involve ourselves in the death rites. As a result, we may feel alone in our grieving process. The loss may even affect our work for some time, making it hard for us to concentrate, or feel a little lost.

As a society, death is not something that is widely spoken about or openly discusses. People often feel ashamed to grieve openly due to the fear of being judged for not being strong enough. This applies more so in a workplace environment where one is expected to keep their emotions aside for the most part.

The following tips might help you cope with the loss of a co-worker:

• Acknowledge the role they played in the organization and for each worker. A discussion around the kind of impact the co-worker had on every employee’s life might make one feel that they are allowed to grieve.
• Give yourself, and others the time and space to grieve. Understand that not everyone may cope with the loss at the same pace. Be kind to your co-workers.
• Make use of the Employee Assistance Program (EAP) to get a professional counselor who can help you through this grieving process. Grief groups can be created for this purpose as well. One can use one-on-one counseling as well if their company has the provision and if they feel the need for it.
• Do something for the family. This can be done at an individual level, with some co-workers as a team, or on behalf of the entire organization.

  

• Attend the funeral.
• Organize a memorial service. Just the sharing of one’s memories can be quite therapeutic for some.
• One can also create a small memorial in the workplace as a token of appreciation for the co-worker’s contribution.

If you are suffering from anxiety and depression so you should meet psychologist

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The death of a parent can be a big blow to a child. It can completely shatter their belief about the world being a safe haven. They may feel intense emotional upheaval and might start fearing losing other important and close people from their life as well. Therefore, during such times, what a child seeks most, is care from the other family members, and connection with the other parent who might withdraw due to their own grieving process, and a result may end up leaving the child feel lonely.

Some tips to keep in mind –

• A factor that might help the child cope with the loss of a present is a sense of continuity. Therefore, as difficult as it may seem, one should aim at maintaining the daily household and school routine of the child.
• Make sure that your child does not feel responsible for the death in any way.
• Give the time they need to grieve. Do not expect them to resume their life back to normal instantly. Their performance in academic may get affected for some time. They might lose interest in all activities. Be there for them during this phase. Comfort them. Assure them that they have your love and support no matter what.
• As a grieving spouse, it may be extremely difficult for you to take care of your child when you too are undergoing a grieving process. However, it is essential that you keep all channels of communication open for your child. They might not necessarily want to talk to you immediately, but it is important that you let them know that should they wish to talk about something or express their anger, frustration or grief, then you are there for them.
• Let them know that it is okay for them to feel a lot of emotions. It is okay to grieve. They do not have to feel ashamed or hesitant about expressing themselves. Encourage them to accept their feelings rather than push them away.
• Make them understand that there is no one right way to grieve and that everyone might have their own unique process.

  

• Once some time has lapsed, discuss your fond memories with each other, create rituals to remember the deceased and maintain a connection with them. You also take help with psychologist

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For children, the death of their grandparent is often the first exposure they have to the idea of mortality. Therefore, before anything else, they first need to be introduced and familiarised with the concept of death. The child might struggle with a range of emotions during such times, just like any other adult. They might feel angry, upset, and confused. However, unlike adults, children are not yet equipped to deal with such a mixed bag of emotions. Therefore, the support of their parents comes to the forefront, to help them cope with the loss. Additionally, because this might be their first encounter with the death of someone, they might have a lost of questions to ask. Thus, giving them a patient hear and clearing their doubts also becomes important.

How children respond to death and grieve will determine how they handle such losses in the future as well. How much and how they grieve will also depend on the relationship proximity they shared with their grandparent. Children often tend to be extremely close to their grandparents during their childhood as they act as secondary, if not primary caregivers. Therefore, losing them can be a big blow for a child.

The following tips might help you support your child as they cope with the loss of heir grandparent –

• Answer their questions honestly and maintain consistency.
• Avoid using euphemisms. Use simple language.
• Provide the platform to express themselves freely. Listen and accept their feelings. Comfort them.
• Give them the time and space they need to grieve. Understand that some children may grieve way after the death has occurred.
• Try not to put the entire onus of death on old age as this might instill a fear in the child about losing everyone who is turning old.
• Ensure that the child does not feel that they are to be blamed for the death in any way. Tell them that death is a natural part of life and not a form of punishment.

  

• Create a ritual or ceremony that helps the child remember and preserve their good memories.

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Feeling sad is very common. We all feel it on a regular basis. But grief is an intense emotion that one experiences when they lose something or someone of significance to them. The loss could be of someone close to you due to death or separation otherwise, an object of personal significance, job, loss of financial stability, loss of health, retirement etc. Coping with this loss can be extremely difficult for some, and the pain experienced due to this loss, overwhelming.

There is no one correct method of grieving. Everyone has their own process of grieving. However, some might user healthier ways to grieve the loss and overcome the pain than others. Doing so would require the following:

• Acknowledge and accept the loss.
• Understand that the loss can trigger a varied array of emotions and thoughts.
• Recognize that grieving process is unique for everyone.
• Seek the support of the people around you to help you cope with the loss.
• Understand the difference between grief and depression.

The most famous theory on Grief has been proposed by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969. According to her, people experiencing grief might follow the progression of stages given below. However, not everyone might go through each stage or in the specific order. :

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

   

Although we all experience grief at some point in our lives, it is important to realize when this grief has such a debilitating effect on our lives that it becomes complicated grief or depression. Complicated grief is when one’s grief becomes the center stage of their life, overtaking all other aspects of functioning. As a result, one is unable to resume functioning normally. While depression and grief share a lot of symptoms, grief is an amalgamation of more than one emotion. Unlike depression, it involves both good and bad days. psychologist also help you Coping up with Grief

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