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The trauma one goes through when they are abused as a child remains prevalent for a lifetime. Most of the survivors of sexual abuse suffer from severe mental illnesses. The trauma suffered remains with them, which hampers and interferes with their life. It is also seen that about 90% of the survivors suffer from dreading nightmares. here we tell you 7 ways to Cope If You Were Sexually Abused as a Child.

It is important for people who have suffered such trauma to recover from it.

Thus, below are Seven things you can do if you were sexually abused as a child:

It’s Not Your Fault:

Firstly, the most important thing to know and understand is, that it is not your fault. The mind keeps on rotating about what exactly happened and creates a tendency for self-blame. For Example, it might keep telling you, you shouldn’t have entered that room, or you should have done something at that point in time. But, there are situations which are not in our hands, and it is important to know that. The only person who is at fault is the perpetrator.

A Positive Diary:

Coping up with this trauma is difficult and it creates fear and anxiety within us. Hence, it is important to keep a positive diary with us. The definition of a positive diary is, that you keep writing small motivating notes in the diary and keep that diary with yourself. Whenever the thought of guilt, shame comes to your mind you glance at the diary. This way, you are motivating yourself and simultaneously coping up with your trauma. The world might seem a scary place, but if we look at the positives, then coping up becomes easier.

Talk to Someone:

All the thoughts and feelings inside us, eat us up. Hence, it is important to find a person who you trust, and who wouldn’t judge you. Talking about your feelings will help you cope with it. If all these years you have bottled up these feelings, talking about it will put you at ease. Also, it will lighten your heart and help you to have a better sleep.

Engage in Contemplative Practice:

To keep your body and mind in harmony and to feel control about your body, it is important to engage yourself in contemplative practices. These practices can include, yoga, tai-chi, meditation, prayer etc. But, doing these creates an insight and helps you realize your feelings and thoughts. Everyone’s spiritual finding is different. Hence it is important to find yours.

It’s OK to feel your Feelings:

Often more than not, the basic tendency for anyone is to numb their feelings after trauma. They resort to drinking, smoking or other drugs to get rid of the thoughts. But, using these modes to cope up your feelings makes it worse. The thoughts come back again, and it then leads to worsening the situation. Also, many people due to this fall prey to addiction. Emotions which you feel, are necessary because it also gives the hope that you can also feel happiness. It is important to remember, only after the darkest night comes the brightest day.

Don’t Self-Medicate:

Due to this traumatic experience, people often suffer from severe mental health issues. Their first tendency is to self-medicate. Hence, making the situation worse. Thus, it is not advisable to do self-medication. You should always take professional help before taking any medication. Thus, making the medication actually helping you rather than making the situatiion worse.

Seek Professional Help:

There is nothing to be guilty about or hide from. Seeking a mental health professional will help you cope up with the trauma. Most of the times, we believe that healing isn’t possible from such trauma. But, healing is possible even though it might take time. A mental health professional will help you sail through the journey and you will be able to recover from the trauma you have had suffered.

Hence, if you or someone you know has gone through the experience of childhood sexual abuse, and are facing different mental health problems because of this, then please visit a professional immediately.  

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Giving birth to a child is a wonderful experience. It feels like there has been an extension of you. But, many times it leads to a depressive phase. Many doctors and psychologists overlook it as ‘baby blues’. People expect the mothers to be happy about the experience. Thus, it puts an external pressure on the mother to hide her “bad” emotions.

Hiding ones’ emotions is a very difficult task to do. In between these emotions, the mother is then forced to hide her sadness. Finally, the hidden sadness leads to depression.

Post-partum depression usually occurs during the first year of childbirth. There are many reasons which can cause depression. Which include the history of the person, complications in childbirth or stress during or after pregnancy.

Below are few symptoms of Post-Partum Depression:

Unable to Take Care:

After a childbirth, it is very important for a mother to take care of herself. Along with her, it is also important for her to take care of the baby. But, a person suffering from post-partum depression is unable to take care of the baby or herself.

Fears:

When a mother suffers from this kind of depression, an unwanted extreme fear emerges. She is constantly anxious about taking care of the baby. The fear revolves around she is not a good mother. Thus, the fear then starts causing her extreme levels of anxiety.

Mood Swings:

A woman will suffer from certain levels of mood swings after she has given birth. But, in this case, the mood swings are extreme. They turn from extreme rage to extreme sadness. Sometimes the rage is even directed towards the child.

Lack of Interest:

Usually, a new mother will have different kinds of interest. But, in this, the mother loses her interest in all her daily activities. She even loses her interest in the things she liked to do. Because of her sadness, she is unable to actually enjoy the activities she liked.

Guilt:

Guilt and sadness go hand in hand. The mother starts feeling guilty about everything. Thoughts like, “I am a bad mother”, “Why do I have to bear the child?” etc. takes over. Which then result in extreme guilt, where the mother is drenched in them. Hence, it starts a vicious cycle of guilt and sadness.

Suicidal Thoughts:

The mother starts having suicidal thoughts. She starts believing that the baby would be better off without her. Because she is a bad mother, the baby doesn’t deserve her. Hence, thoughts of suicide start occurring.

Depression and anxiety can happen to anyone. Hence, if you or someone you know is suffering from depression then please visit a professional immediately.

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It’s very natural to feel sad from time to time. It’s a part of our human nature, and to feel is what makes us human. But, when the sadness reaches its extremes, and there is a sense of hopelessness, we fall down to Depression. Depression comes with its own symptoms, and one of the major symptoms is problems during sleep.

Many people will have lack of sleep, or insomnia while some can even have an excess of sleep. But, with depression, one will have trouble in sleeping.

Thus, below are few tips which can help you sleep better during the depression:

Bedroom for Sleeping:

A Bedroom is usually a place for distraction. People tend to engage in different activities or usually spend most of their time on the cell phone. The bedroom is full of distractions and different activities. Hence, trying to sleep among these distractions becomes very difficult. Thus, it is necessary to keep the bedroom only for sleeping and relaxing. To help you sleep, you can start playing “white noise” and make sure the room is dark. It will help your body and mind relax.

Keep a Schedule:

While suffering from depression, it’s very difficult to indulge in any activity. Hence, keeping a schedule helps. Similarly, it’s very important to keep a bedtime schedule. It’s a difficult task to go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time every day. But, once you manage to achieve a bedtime schedule, your mind will automatically start to relate the schedule to your body. Hence, making it easier to fall asleep.

Create a Routine:

Also, there is a necessity of a bedtime routine along with a bedtime schedule. Before going to bed, you should start building a routine which relaxes your body. One-hour before bedtime you should stop doing any stressful activity and try and relax your body. It’s also important that you keep any device, electronic away from you. The light emitted from the screens increases the level of stress. It’s always good to read a relaxing book before bed.

Start Exercising:

It’s very difficult to work when you are suffering from depression. But, it is required that you start exercising. Exercise helps the body to relieve stress and gives an outlet to your suppressed emotions. Also, exercising regularly keeps the body engaged. Thus, when you go to sleep, your body is already tired and it then is easier to sleep.

Go Out Regularly:

Depression is a very tough situation. It locks the body, and one doesn’t feel like going outside. But, a daily stroll in the park or even standing on the balcony facing the sun helps a lot. The Vitamin-D given by the Sun helps elevate mood. It’s scientifically proven that there is a direct relationship between mood and weather. Thus, to go out and facing the sun helps in mood elevation. Which then leads to better sleep.

It’s very difficult to actually implement the steps which are written above. Depression is an illness which takes a huge toll on a person. But, implementing them can actually help you to fall asleep. Also, if you or someone you know someone who is suffering from depression, please contact a professional immediately.

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Losing someone who is dear to you, be it a friend or family member, is a very traumatizing experience. People suffering from depression, leave all hope in their life and find suicide the last option. But, the problem arises when they express this to their family member or friend. The person who is approached doesn’t actually know how to address this situation. There is a genuine worry in them but, they can’t address the worry.

A mental health professional or volunteers at suicide helpline knows what to say or do. But, they are not available for them 24 hours.

Hence, below are few things you can do to help them:

Show Concern:

It’s very important to show genuine concern for their situation. But, in these cases, you need to show and express your concern about them. Expressing your concern to them will let them know that you are there for them.

Ask them:

Many people don’t ask the person because they think they will instigate the situation. But, it’s very important to ask them. One should ask how they have planned to do it, or how they are thinking about it or what time, etc. Asking them about it, will not instigate the situation, rather will give them an outlet to speak.

Don’t Argue:

Usually, the first instinct of ours is an argument. We tell them that “there is so many good” or “think about your family” etc. But, these things are perceived as an attack. Instead of arguing or giving reasons to them, be with them and care for them. Let them know, that they are not alone.

Take Professional Help:

In these cases, professional help is very important. If the person is going to a psychiatrist or a psychologist, then urge them to contact them. If not, then take them to a mental health professional. It’s very important for them to know that they have different kinds of support.

Don’t Leave Them Alone:

Most importantly, don’t leave them alone. This is the time they are feeling lonely and vulnerable. In their time of need, you should not leave them alone.

Listen to them:

Lastly, it’s very important for you to listen to them. Just listening to them empathetically and without judgment helps them a lot. Hence, patiently listen to them and understand their feelings and emotions.

It becomes a matter of great grief if we lose someone like this. Hence, if you or someone you know is suicidal; then please visit a psychologist nearby. Also, please share this blog as it can help a friend or family member helping their loved ones.

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More than 60% people in India suffer from depression. Depression is a very common disease among all the age groups. Empathetically speaking, a person suffering from depression feels very lonely and sad. But, the illness itself doesn’t live in the vacuum. It creates an effect which affects all the people who are near and dear them. How to overcome Depression?

The fear of judgment makes them feel closed up. It leaves the family members in a confusion and they don’t actually understand what is happening. Communication with the person who is suffering from depression becomes very difficult.

Ways to Help Your Friend or Family Member

Thus, the question arises, how can we help our friend or family member. Below are few ways to help them:

Educate Yourself:

It’s very important to educate yourself about the illness your friend is suffering from. It might be very difficult for you to cure them, but it will be easier if you understand their situation. Educating yourself on their situation will help you cope up with their moods, and generate patience within you.

Ask Questions:

Most of the times, a person suffering from depression will never come and tell you what they are feeling. They always have a fear of being judged or criticised for their emotions. To know and understand their position, it’s better to ask them. But, remember to ask the questions empathetically. Below are few questions you can ask them:

• When did it start?
• Do you think there is a situation which triggered it? What was the situation?
• Are you having suicidal thoughts?
• What is it that still makes you feel happy?
• Is there a situation where you feel worse?

Helping them Identify the Stressor:

Depression will always be accompanied by stress. Hence, identifying the stressor will help them and you understand their situation very well. When a person is suffering from stress, they are not able to think very well. Hence, the situation seems more complex to them. Thus, by identifying the stressor you can help them try and reduce them.

Taking Outside Help:

No matter what illness someone is suffering from professional help is always required. You should encourage your friend or family member to take professional help in curing their illness. It’s the stigma and the fear of judgment which stops someone from taking professional help. Hence, you should encourage them to break the stigma and take the help required.

Enhance their Strengths:

A person who is suffering from depression will always feel that they are not worthy. They feel like they have lost all their strength and hope in their life. Hence, it becomes your responsibility to remind them of their strengths. You need to remind them that they are incredibly strong while facing this situation. It’s always good to boost their confidence by showing them their achievements.

Be with them and Let them know it will go away:

One of the basic things you can do is to be with them. Hence, by being with them you can make them laugh. And as we all know, laughter is the best medicine. No matter what joke, or stand-up comedy, or funny movie you watch together, it’s always good to laugh. By doing this, they will know that you are there for them and are trying to make them feel better.

Also, a person suffering from depression feels like they can never get out of it. Hence, only one sentence can give them a lot of strength. All you have to say and remind them is, “it will pass away, and you won’t always feel the same way”.

Listen to them:

Most importantly, just listen to them. Listening to them without any judgment or criticism will help them a long way. Empathetic listening is one of the most important ways to let them know you are there for them. Also, it is the most important way to help your friend or family member.

Conclusion

Remember, a professional will only spend a bit of time with the person. But, no one knows them better than you. Hence, supporting them in their time of need is very important. It’s you who spends the maximum amount of time with them.

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Depersonalization is a very uncommon disorder which happens to a very few people. Hence, many psychologists don’t understand or even know about this disorder. It becomes a very difficult experience for the person because the connection with reality becomes distorted. The person feels detached from the surroundings and the self, and it becomes a harrowing experience.

What Is Depersonalization Disorder?

Depersonalization disorder is a dissociative disorder. Firstly, dissociative, the word itself means detachment. Hence, it is a disorder which suffices on detachment. Even though this disorder lies on the lower end of the spectrum of dissociative disorders, it is still a very serious condition. Depersonalization consists of two parts; first dissociative identity disorder, and second dissociative amnesia.

Dissociative identity disorder, also famously known as, multiple personality disorder. In this, a person starts to show different types of personalities. One of the best examples is seen in the movies, “Bhool-Bhulaiya”, “Aparichit”. Also, the person isn’t aware of the other personalities present within them. Which makes it difficult to treat.

Dissociative amnesia is a condition where there is a mental gap. By mental gap, it means that for certain periods the person forgets their identity. Also, the person can even forget what happened within a period in the day or else start experiencing blackouts.

Thus, below are some symptoms of this disorder:

• Feeling of being Un-real: There is a persistent feeling in the person that nothing is real. Even their self-identity and the world around them is not real. Also, the places and friends, who used to be familiar starts to feel like “fake”.
• No Connection with Others: The person starts feeling detached from the loved ones. There is a constant feeling that the person you loved, or who loves you are unfamiliar. The person does remember them but doesn’t feel any connection with them. The person feels detached.
• Increased levels of Anxiety: If earlier the person used to feel anxious at a very low level, the intensity of the anxiety increases ten folds. Even the smallest of the situations starts feeling overwhelming. The person is gripped by constant fear.
• Suicidal Thoughts: There becomes an increase in the suicidal thoughts. The person starts wondering whether even the life is real or not. There is a constant disconnect between reality. Thus, death seems a close connection. Hence, there is an increase in suicidal thoughts.
• Can’t Focus: Due to overwhelming thoughts and worries, the person couldn’t focus. The work which seemed a lot easy, because very difficult. The person couldn’t even focus on a sentence and there is no recollection power.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Depersonalization disorder is a very serious condition. The best step to address the issue is to visit a professional immediately. Many forms of psychotherapy, like psychodynamic, cognitive behavioural has proven to cure this illness.

Hence, when addressed in time, it can be cured. So, please visit a professional if you think you are showing these problems.

To Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli

Grieving over a loss becomes the expression of the self. It presents the way a person pays respect to the lost “object”. Grieving over the loss object becomes very important and essential. But, the way someone grieves varies. It depends on the relationship with the person or object, on the physical health of the person and even the mental health.

How Does Grief Affect?

The reaction towards grief is different for every individual. Anxiety and helplessness often accompany in periods of grief. Sometimes, there are bursts of emotions and anger. Anger might come from the fact of the loss itself. Being left alone, becomes a lonely and frustrating affair. Then sadness follows, but it comes at a later period.

Knowing that these feelings are normal is very important. It helps in the grieving process in itself. Thus, it gives a hope that everything will turn out well. Also, it is also very important that you know these feelings will pass away.

Although, it’s a long process it varies from person to person. For some, it takes few weeks for others it might take a year or more. Thus, some people also need therapy or counseling to cope up with grief. But, eventually, it will go away. So, the hope to recover, helps you to cope with it.

How to cope with grief?

Firstly, it is important to know that there are no quick fixes. It will take its time depending on the relationship between the person or the object. But, after the period passes away it is less likely to be at the forefront of your mind.

Below are some ways which can help you in times of loss:

1. Express: Talking about the loss helps in coping up with it. It soothes the pain and helps in the healing process. A good friend, a therapist, a family member or a counselor can help you begin the process.
2. Feeling Sad: It is a normal process to feel sad. You should allow yourself to feel sad. It helps you express the turmoil you are feeling. It is also a healthy part of grieving.
3. Routine: Keeping up with the routine is very important. It helps you process and keeps you functional. Simple things like, walking the dog or eating your favorite meal help in the process of being functional.

   

4. Sleep: An emotional problem always effects your sleep. Sleeping recharges your emotional strength. If you have trouble sleeping then please see a professional.
5. Eat Healthily: A healthy well-maintained diet helps you cope up. A good physical health helps in keeping a healthy emotional health.
6. Avoid the thing which “Numb”: It is important that you avoid things which “numb” the pain. Alcohol and other substances will help you numb the pain momentarily. Once the effect wears off, the pain will be increased. Also, it can start a vicious cycle of addiction, which will lead to other problems.

When to get help?

Going to counseling straight away might not be a good option. But, if the sadness persists over a couple of months it is advised to get help. You will know when you want counseling or professional help. If the following persists you for over two months then it is best to get help.

1. You are not able to cope up with the emotions and unable to function daily routines.
2. The extreme emotions are not going away.
3. Loss of sleep.

   

4. You start showing symptoms of depression or anxiety.
5. Your other relationships are being affected.
6. Facing sexual problems.
7. Taking care of someone who is not able to cope up well.
8. Having a lot of accidents, or becoming accident-prone.

In conclusion, grief feels like a very difficult and lonely process. But, the ray of hope leads to a better environment. It is necessary that you do not isolate yourself. It is very important to be around friends or loved ones in such periods. You can always consult a professional, or a counselor to help you cope with grief.

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