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At the end of an emotionally abusive relationship, you might feel burdened with inconclusive thoughts and overwhelming emotions. And this is absolutely acceptable. While your friends and family feel thankful for your break-up, they may not be able to understand the emotional turmoil going inside your heart and brain. But you should not carry on with toxic relationship

Let’s look at the end of an abusive relationship from the following aspects:

Mental and Emotional Health

Post being dumped by the person whom you considered to be your one and only soul mate, you might go through a roller coaster of emotions. The symptoms are often similar to that of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
There might not be any visible scars to make it obvious that you are hurt, but the pain is similar to that of a physical injury.
You might even show obsessive behaviour, where you constantly think about your ex, your break up.
The more the covert these symptoms are, the more damage it can do to your emotional stability and the ability to overcome the trauma.

Attachment or Addiction?

When two people part their ways in a healthy way, they may feel hurt, but it does not take a psychological toll on the two persons involved. They eventually move on as a practical approach was followed to end the relationship. But in an emotionally abusive relationship, the break up isn’t as clean, rather the abuser is manipulative.
The victim might not recognize signs and develop an emotional attachment towards them.
You might re-run the events from your relationship in your mind several times throughout the day or read the old conversations.
Being with a person becomes addictive over a period of time, like an unhealthy attachment. It might seem normal and justified to the victim, but this really hampers their emotional well-being.

Moving on!

The first step to moving on is to accept your situation. A few things that you could do to overcome such a relationship are:

Take care of your emotions

Repairing your emotions requires great efforts. When you get abandoned by someone you are so addicted to, it affects your self-esteem negatively. You can feel used and discarded, angry and isolated. Instead of suppressing and being a home to them, it is very important that you accept and acknowledge your emotions. Recognize how you feel. You can make a journal about the same. If you feel like crying or screaming, do that.

Pen it down

At times it might be difficult for you to talk about your broken relationship and what all you went through in that. But it is important to express in order to heal. To start with, you can keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions, gradually opening up about it verbally.

Confide in Close ones

You can always count on your close friends and families when you feel the need to. Surround yourself with people. Avoid isolating yourself with your thoughts all the time.

Cut-off contact with the abuser

You need to cut off the contact with your ex. Being vulnerable might drag you to his doors, but this would be unhealthy. It is important to maintain a distance when you part ways with your abuser. You may feel a pull towards him, but remember it is unhealthy for your mental health if you remain connected to him.

Do not stalk

It may seem like a nice idea to keep a tab on your ex by stalking him on social media or keeping in touch with his friends. But this is not ideal. You must focus investing your time and energy on yourself rather than knowing about his whereabouts.

Postpone important decisions

In the times, when you are emotionally unstable it is better to not make any important life decisions, which may affect your future. Let yourself feel and heal for some time first.

Practice patience

For a physical injury to heal there is always a defined set of medicines and treatment method that one follows and gets okay. But for an emotional setback, you need to give yourself time. Every person takes their own time to get out of an emotional difficulty. Focus on your progress.

Seek Help

If your emotions are way out of control and are hindering with your daily life, you should seek for some professional help. In the times, when we are vulnerable, we might not be in the right state of mind to be emotionally efficient. A bit of advice about situation and lifestyle changes by a professional can prove to be of great help.

Are you in a healthy relationship? Have you been a victim of emotional abuse?

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September 06, 2018, will mark an important day for the LGBT community in India. The Supreme Court of India abolished Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code (IPC).  This law came into effect in the year 1982. It stated that the carnal intercourse against the order of nature with man, woman or animal was punishable with imprisonment of a lifetime or at least 10 years of jail, with or without fine.

Today’s judgment symbolizes the beginning of unbiased treatment for the LGBTQ community in our country. For a very long time, the community has been harassed and struggled. They had been treated as the discarded sections, always. But the decision of abolishing Section 377 is a huge initiation in terms of equality.

Chief justice Dipak Misra and Justices DY Chandrachud, AM Khanwilkar, Indu Malhotra, and Rohinton Fali Nariman decreed that LGBTQ community will now have the same sexual rights just like everyone else.

The Journey

In 2009, Delhi High court had declared that any consensual sexual act between homosexuals in private is not illegal. But later, Justice G S Singhvi did not validate the decision and said that it is on the members of Parliament to make any decision on the topic.

However, in April 2014, the Supreme Court suggested the government to declare transgender as the third sex and should be able to practice all the rights under the law and also asked the community in the OBC category. Naz Foundation in April 2016 filed a petition and the Chief Justice, TS Thakur decided to review the same along with a constitutional bench of 5 other members.

The Verdict

Finally, following the small steps over the time, here is the decision, taken for the welfare of the LGBTQ community. From the common man to the United Nations, everyone is praising the decision. There is a wave of happiness all over the country.

The Psychological Benefits of the verdict

The verdict is the right step in the direction of equality as there will be no victimization or labelling of any alternate sexuality. This might not end discrimination totally, but this will open the doors of acceptance for people of the LGBT community. The harassment and blackmailing of the gay people will stop, which had actually been one of the major reasons in the past for them to remain in the closet. The homosexuals who married the opposite sex due to the stigma can come out now, ending their unhappy marriages.

Accepting others for who they are is the biggest support one can give each other. Sexuality is not an acquired trait, its very much natural.

All the protests and demonstrations finally end in a fruitful result. From here on, there will be hearts full of love and heads held up high with pride.

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Telepathy is a phenomenon under the broad Umbrella term of Extrasensory Perception(ESP) as defined in Parapsychology.

Clairvoyance, clairaudience,  are similar to the phenomenon of Telepathy.

Telepathy is communication of a message from one mind to another without any medium. For example, you get a call from a friend the moment you think of him; Though you were out of touch with him since long. This is beyond your learned knowledge and intellect.

Research cannot establish the occurrence of  Telepathy; but science has confirmed that you are made up of frequencies, vibrations, and molecules. Your frequency can be transmitted to another person provided you have shared a physical space at some point in your life.

It is not possible to measure, control or observe an event like Telepathy and hence the limitation in Research.

These could be some of the possible explanations of Telepathy:

• You have Neurons in your brain, called Mirror neurons which act as mirrors;  hence you would have noticed some people can read other people’s mind better. Research has shown that you can even understand the emotions and intentions of the other person automatically. If you have higher levels of oxytocin, the chances are that you would be better at understanding and reading these social cues.

• Research in this area has also demonstrated that you might be more Telepathic than your friend. A brain-imaging study done on a Telepathic person’s brain showed more activation in the right parahippocampal gyrus(Area of the brain).
• The more dopamine you have in your brain, the greater are the chances of unfounded beliefs ( this is not an indicator of any pathology). Studies have indicated a genetic difference in dopamine transmission of Telepathic people.

Although, we do not have any substantial research in this area, It is interesting enough to explore and know more about Telepathy.

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Like all mental illnesses, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) contains myths and disbelief. But, it is more common for people suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder to be under these myths. The justification and glorification of these myths are done through movies and TV series. Hence, the myths around Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder are much more prevalent.

Thus, below are few of the myths and the realities around PTSD:

Myth:

It is a very common myth that Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder only happens after a dangerous event. People believe that Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder can only happen after someone has faced an event directly.

Reality:

In reality, it is not necessary that the person should face direct trauma. Anyone can have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder even if they see someone else going through a traumatic experience. Thus, if a family member or a loved one is going through an event, just by looking at it, a person can acquire Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Also, it can happen right after the death of a loved one.

Myth:

People tend to say that time will heal the wounds. They will constantly say to the person suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder that just give it time.

Reality:

It takes years to overcome Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, with professional help. An adult can still be affected by childhood trauma years after the event has passed. Giving it time will not heal the wound. Thus, to cure Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder it is important to seek professional help.

Myth:

One of the most prevalent and glorified myth is, that only soldiers get Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Even in movies and TV shows it is shown that soldiers are the only one suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Thus, it has become a common belief among people.

Reality:

It is true that soldiers and war veterans are statistically the most numbers of people suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. But, it is not necessary that only they can have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It can affect anyone who has experienced or seen a traumatic event.

Myth:

People always assume that a person suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is very weak and doesn’t have the ability to get over it. This assumption is not only prevalent for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder but all the mental health illnesses. Thus, people start judging the person for their illness.

Reality:

The hard-hitting reality is, that the person who is suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is not weak but, is actually suffering from a mental illness. It is not in their hand to come out of it just like that. It takes proper treatment for a person to actually come out of it. This particular judgemental behaviour makes it difficult for the person to overcome any illness.

It’s important that we should avoid these myths, and actually listen to the person empathetically. It takes a lot of courage to accept about this illness. Judging them doesn’t actually help the person. Hence, it is important to make the first step and give out a helping hand.

Thus, if you or someone you know is suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, then please seek professional help immediately.

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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can happen to adults as well as children. The amount of trauma experienced by an adult can be experienced by a child too. But, their reaction to trauma differs with age.

Thus, below are few symptoms shown by a Child having PTSD:

Bed Wetting:

Even after learning how to use the toilet, the child starts to wet the bed. This event usually happens because of nightmares about the trauma. Also, the child doesn’t realise about this issue and keeps on wetting the bed.

No Talk:

Mostly, children become unable to or in extreme cases, stop talking. They forget how to talk and express their emotions. Also, in some cases, the child becomes unable to talk. Thus, becoming mute.

Acting Out:

The trauma caused by the event is very scary for them. But, as they are unable to express themselves, they start acting out the trauma. This usually happens during their play or when they are indulged in other activities like drawing, painting etc.

Become Clingy:

They will start to cling to a parent or a guardian who they are close to. The fear of the trauma scares them to an unimaginable extent. Thus, making them cling to a loved one for safety and comfort.

Destructive Behaviour:

Sometimes, the child starts to act in a destructive manner. As they are unable to explain what is going on with them, they will start becoming angry and destructive.

With age, the symptoms are shown by a child also evolves. Thus, children of different age will exhibit different symptoms.

Thus, below are the symptoms shown by child, age-wise, suffering from PTSD:

Under Age 6:

Children under the age of 6 will usually show the symptoms mentioned above. They will cling to a parent or start acting out in their play.

Between Age 7-11:

Children between the age of 7-11 start showing symptoms similar to above. They will have nightmares and will start avoiding school or school work. They might isolate themselves or start acting out in an aggressive manner. Their drawings or paintings might become an expression of the trauma.

Between Age 12-18:

Children between the age of 12-18 will usually show the symptoms which an adult will show. This may include, and not limited to, depression, anxiety, acting out, substance use or even constantly running away from home.

PTSD can happen to anyone, regardless of age. If you or someone you know is suffering from PTSD then please visit a mental health professional immediately.

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After any traumatic event, it is normal to experience upsetting memories, trouble sleeping or doing daily activities. These feelings take time to go away when we have experienced a traumatic situation. After few weeks the person starts to feel better and get back to normal routine. But, if this feeling stays over for more than few months, then it is possible that you are experiencing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

PTSD is a stress disorder, where the person keeps on getting flashbacks of the traumatic event. These events/memories, start evoking anxiety within them. The memories of the event become very stressful for them and they become unable to resume their daily work.

Thus, below are the symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder:

Flashbacks:

Someone suffering from PTSD will start to relive the moment over and over again in their mind. The memories will be represented as nightmares or constant thoughts. Thus, it will give the feeling that you are stuck at the moment.

Avoiding:

You will start avoiding moments or situations which remind you of the event. Also, you will start to ignore the person who is related to the moment. Thus, avoiding the situation completely; even talking about it.

Negative Feelings:

You will start to experience negative thoughts. These thoughts can be about guilt or shame. Also, your perspective on the world will start changing and you will find it difficult to trust yourself and others around you. Thus, being happy about situations will start becoming more difficult.

Always on Alert:

You will start assessing situations very deeply and will always be on the lookout for danger. Hence, this can start hampering your sleep and concentration. Thus, making you feel vulnerable and irritable most of the time.

Also, Along with PTSD, there can be additional mental health problems.

Below is a list of other problems associated with PTSD:

• Depression or Anxiety
• Drinking or any other addiction

  

• Feeling of guilt, shame, hopelessness and despair.
• Physical symptoms like pain in head, stomach etc.
• Relationship Problems
• Employment Problems

PTSD can happen to anyone. Usually, these symptoms start coming up right after the event. But, sometimes it can also appear after months or years after the event. They may come and go but will keep on hampering your life.

PTSD is not a sign of weakness. It is an illness which needs to be treated. Hence, if you or someone you know is suffering from PTSD then please visit a mental health professional immediately.

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We have recently lost two very famous celebrities, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, to suicide. Similarly, we have lost many famous people who committed suicide including Robbin Williams and Chester Bennington. This shows the severity of the illness, which is ignored by many and shrugged by others. Depression. It is real and takes away everything from us.

Most of the people are aware of what depression is, yet we are ready to ignore what is lost. Sometimes, it comes hidden inside our smiles, and sometimes behind the silence. We become aware and unaware at the same time and close our eyes and wish it will go away. But, it doesn’t. We wish for riches, we wish for fame, for love but even when we receive them we are not able to grab hold of the happiness we wish for.

Depression comes in various forms and it engulfs us.

Few of the common symptoms of depression are:

Lack/Excess of Sleep:

A person who is suffering from depression will start exhibiting insomnia or hypersomnia. That is, the person will not be able to sleep at all or, will be sleeping too much.

Loss of Interest:

The person will lose interest in all the activities he/she loved to do. Hence, the person will not be able to take interest or pleasure in the activities they used to love.

Change in Appetite:

Depression takes away everything, including our desire to eat. Or, in the other extreme, we start eating too much. Thus, gaining or losing a lot of weight.

Irritability:

There is a constant irritability with-in the person. The person is not able to understand what is exactly happening with them. Hence, when someone starts questioning them they start becoming irritable. They are not able to handle all the questions inside them. They will start crying without reason or start getting angry.

Thoughts of Suicide and Death:

The thoughts of the person keep revolving around suicide and death. They become obsessed with those thoughts, and even in some cases they even try and commit suicide. They feel that there is no need for their existence.

The above symptoms should not be overlooked.

The person is maybe trying to say something, we need to be there to listen to the person.

In today’s time, we are indulged in social media and news of someone passing away affect minds and provides the extra push everyone is looking for. It is noted that after the suicide of Robin Williams, the suicide rate increased to 50% more. We need to understand that suicide is not the solution.

Also, suicide is not easy. It takes a lot of courage, it drains out all the energy of the person to just make one decision. But, as mentioned it should never be the answer.

We need to start taking steps, start acknowledging. Depression doesn’t look if you have money or fame or anything. It needs to be de-stigmatized. It is something we need not run away from, but something we need to acknowledge. A simple question, “how are you?” or “are you fine?” may do wonders for many. It doesn’t matter if the person is posting 100 photos on Instagram every day or appearing on TV shows or movies, it can be anyone.

In today’s fast-paced life, we have put on so many masks. Waiting. For someone to take off those masks. Be the person to remove those masks, provide help and if need, ask for help or seek help. Thus, if you or someone you know is suffering from depression, please seek professional help immediately. Remove the stigma. Win the Fight against Depression!

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We spend almost more than half of our day with our co-workers. For some, their co-workers are like friends. We work together, celebrate successes together, face failures together, complain about our bosses, have good days and bad. And yet sometimes, when we lose one of our co-workers, we don’t know how to grieve their death. Especially when our relationship is restricted to the workspace, and thought we share more than a cordial relationship with them, we may not consider them as friends. As a result, we fail to realize how much of a role they play in our lives.

Our friends and family may be unaware of their existence, and their friends and family of ours. This makes the grieving more difficult as people around don’t realize the kind of impact our co-worker might have had on our lives. We might feel unsure about the extent to which we can and should involve ourselves in the death rites. As a result, we may feel alone in our grieving process. The loss may even affect our work for some time, making it hard for us to concentrate, or feel a little lost.

As a society, death is not something that is widely spoken about or openly discusses. People often feel ashamed to grieve openly due to the fear of being judged for not being strong enough. This applies more so in a workplace environment where one is expected to keep their emotions aside for the most part.

The following tips might help you cope with the loss of a co-worker:

• Acknowledge the role they played in the organization and for each worker. A discussion around the kind of impact the co-worker had on every employee’s life might make one feel that they are allowed to grieve.
• Give yourself, and others the time and space to grieve. Understand that not everyone may cope with the loss at the same pace. Be kind to your co-workers.
• Make use of the Employee Assistance Program (EAP) to get a professional counselor who can help you through this grieving process. Grief groups can be created for this purpose as well. One can use one-on-one counseling as well if their company has the provision and if they feel the need for it.
• Do something for the family. This can be done at an individual level, with some co-workers as a team, or on behalf of the entire organization.

  

• Attend the funeral.
• Organize a memorial service. Just the sharing of one’s memories can be quite therapeutic for some.
• One can also create a small memorial in the workplace as a token of appreciation for the co-worker’s contribution.

If you are suffering from anxiety and depression so you should meet psychologist

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The death of a parent can be a big blow to a child. It can completely shatter their belief about the world being a safe haven. They may feel intense emotional upheaval and might start fearing losing other important and close people from their life as well. Therefore, during such times, what a child seeks most, is care from the other family members, and connection with the other parent who might withdraw due to their own grieving process, and a result may end up leaving the child feel lonely.

Some tips to keep in mind –

• A factor that might help the child cope with the loss of a present is a sense of continuity. Therefore, as difficult as it may seem, one should aim at maintaining the daily household and school routine of the child.
• Make sure that your child does not feel responsible for the death in any way.
• Give the time they need to grieve. Do not expect them to resume their life back to normal instantly. Their performance in academic may get affected for some time. They might lose interest in all activities. Be there for them during this phase. Comfort them. Assure them that they have your love and support no matter what.
• As a grieving spouse, it may be extremely difficult for you to take care of your child when you too are undergoing a grieving process. However, it is essential that you keep all channels of communication open for your child. They might not necessarily want to talk to you immediately, but it is important that you let them know that should they wish to talk about something or express their anger, frustration or grief, then you are there for them.
• Let them know that it is okay for them to feel a lot of emotions. It is okay to grieve. They do not have to feel ashamed or hesitant about expressing themselves. Encourage them to accept their feelings rather than push them away.
• Make them understand that there is no one right way to grieve and that everyone might have their own unique process.

  

• Once some time has lapsed, discuss your fond memories with each other, create rituals to remember the deceased and maintain a connection with them. You also take help with psychologist

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For children, the death of their grandparent is often the first exposure they have to the idea of mortality. Therefore, before anything else, they first need to be introduced and familiarised with the concept of death. The child might struggle with a range of emotions during such times, just like any other adult. They might feel angry, upset, and confused. However, unlike adults, children are not yet equipped to deal with such a mixed bag of emotions. Therefore, the support of their parents comes to the forefront, to help them cope with the loss. Additionally, because this might be their first encounter with the death of someone, they might have a lost of questions to ask. Thus, giving them a patient hear and clearing their doubts also becomes important.

How children respond to death and grieve will determine how they handle such losses in the future as well. How much and how they grieve will also depend on the relationship proximity they shared with their grandparent. Children often tend to be extremely close to their grandparents during their childhood as they act as secondary, if not primary caregivers. Therefore, losing them can be a big blow for a child.

The following tips might help you support your child as they cope with the loss of heir grandparent –

• Answer their questions honestly and maintain consistency.
• Avoid using euphemisms. Use simple language.
• Provide the platform to express themselves freely. Listen and accept their feelings. Comfort them.
• Give them the time and space they need to grieve. Understand that some children may grieve way after the death has occurred.
• Try not to put the entire onus of death on old age as this might instill a fear in the child about losing everyone who is turning old.
• Ensure that the child does not feel that they are to be blamed for the death in any way. Tell them that death is a natural part of life and not a form of punishment.

  

• Create a ritual or ceremony that helps the child remember and preserve their good memories.

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