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In today’s time, the emphasis on body image and skin color has increased. We see gyms opening up in every corner, and advertisement focusing on making the skin fairer. Everywhere we see, we are told that our body is not perfect or our skin should be fairer. The constant bombardment of these adverts can make anyone feel insecure about themselves. Hence, leading to different mental health issues like bulimia or anorexia, or depression. But here we give you advice how you accepting yourself.

It’s very important for anyone to learn to accept their body. The fight between the body and self becomes daunting for the person. The acceptance towards one’s body is fogged under the illusion of looking better. Big companies promote themselves by attacking one’s self-image. A lot of teenagers and even adults lose their self-confidence.

Thus, below are ways to understand and accept the self-image:

Making the Decision:

It’s very important to take the first step and make the decision. Positive thinking should be the first step. Along with it, it is important to understand that you are beautiful no matter how you look. Telling yourself every day that you are beautiful the way you are, helps you. Thus, making a decision for the acceptance of the body is the first step. The positive thoughts delete the negative ones which are fed to us for ages.

Dressing for Yourself:

We always have a tendency to dress for others. When going to a party our first thought is what would XYZ think when they look at us. In between those thoughts, one forgets to dress for themselves. We always tend to think that we will look good in the dress if we shed some weight or gain some muscles or look a shade whiter. But, we forget that we have to dress for ourselves. Wearing the dress, you are saving for the future will boost your confidence. It will help you improve your confidence.

Accept the Compliments:

We have reduced some weight, or cut our hair or etc. Then, someone compliments on the thing. Our tendency is always to find the negative in the compliment or dismiss the compliment. We console ourselves by saying that we are being humble, but in reality, we are not accepting the compliment. Hence, it is important to accept the compliment. It’s ok if someone is complimenting on your progress or on yourself, you should accept it.

Being Positive:

In the run of improving our body image or our insecurities and jealousy; we tend to bad mouth the other person. We feel negative, that’s why we tend to see the negative in others. It becomes very difficult for us to give a compliment to someone. Thus, it is important for you to compliment others. It brings positivity and acceptance towards yourself. Giving out compliments to others will make you feel happy and confident.

Conclusion

Hence, as mentioned above, most people live for the future. They enter a vicious circle of going to the future rather than living in the present. Thus, it is important to live in the present. Also, know that we have to fight a long period of negativity, hence it will take time to accept. But, it is possible to accept yourself and be happy.

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Shining Bright in Life

Life can get pretty rough at times. We all share that predicament. Hence, there will be days of despair, hopelessness, failure, and loss of sense of purpose. So, amidst all this chaos, life still offers a great chance to rise and shine to our full glory. It depends on the choices we make and the attitude we hold towards life.

Below are a few ways to accomplish the same that we have identified and hope they help you:

• Believe in the magic of life: During our childhood, we always believed in miracles and that we can magic our way to all our fantasies. Hence, everything around us felt like magic like birds flying in the sky and trains running on the tracks. Tap into such knowing that magic exists for you too and you’ll surely start experiencing it.
• In the moment:

  

  We miss the magic of the present moment while we’re busy regretting the past or worrying about the future. Let’s stop for a second and savor the joy of being in the moment.

• Immerse in love: Make it a part of all of your relationships. Give it. Receive it. Share it.
• Own your originality: You are the most unique you that we can have. Your vision, your ideas, your talents, your beliefs, your way of doing things are your originality. You flow in life when you live it.
• An attitude of gratitude: Gratitude opens up rich feelings, incredible experiences and amazing opportunities for you. Make ‘thank you’ a part of your life.
• Bring out the inner-child: Ask questions, be adventurous, be unapologetically you and explore the world around you like a child, if you will.
• Have fun: All said and done, make sure to take some time for play. Structure your day to allow you some moments of pure fun and laughter.
• Proximity is power: Find your tribe that you sync with and get lost in magical experiences with them. Share your ideas, thoughts and emotions and find the high ground of appreciation and enhancement.
• Dream and plan: Dream the dreams, make the plans and live them in reality. Don’t deny yourself your authentic aspirations.
• Expect the best: One can never become more than what they expect out of themselves. Expect the best and shed the fear of unknown.

• Be the light: Don’t wait for a source of light and start being the light for ones less fortunate than yourself. The more you give, the more you get.
• Be prepared for the worst:

  

  Despite all efforts, sometimes, things go awry and out of hand. That exact moment is not the time for despair, but for sincere reflections on the reasons for failure and knowing that it is for your own good even if you may not be able to decipher the reason just yet!

Life has a lot to offer.

We sure agree that there are task-lists to get done, meetings to attend and exams to clear. But, amidst all this, life still manages to give us a lot of reasons and little things to celebrate. Not sure what they are? We’ve made a big list for you here:

Awesome Tips

• Taking a walk in the rain
• Smell of fresh-baked cookies
• The ability to give and receive love from your friends and family
• Hugging your kids
• Cuddling your partner
• Spending time in worthy causes
• The favorite desserts. Whoever wants to miss an ice-cream?
• The excitement when a flight takes off from the land
• Cold beer and a cricket game?
• Creating something useful to share with the world
• Reading books that along with, what? Cup of coffee, of course.
• Gazing stars under clear skies
• Encouraging your loved ones going through tough times
• Sleeping on a comfy bed. We’re sure you don’t want to miss this!
• Morning walk under the gentle sunshine
• The drive to win despite hardships
• Being grateful for what we have before thinking about what we don’t
• Playing with pets. Oh gosh! Their excitement and enthusiasm!
• Knowing that we are not alone and we can share
• We take it for granted but pay attention and you’ll see how it’s very enjoyable.
• The near and dear who never give up on us.
• Creativity all around the place
• Mind-numbing music that makes you go… whoa!
• Because good times always follow bad-times
• Humour and ridiculously funny comedy

….some More Awesome Tips for you

• Unexpected surprises
• That you can always begin
• Diversity (We know you’re thinking about different cuisines!)
• Trying new things
• The way how right things happen at just the right moment for right reasons
• Second chances
• When kids say, “Daddy/Mommy! I love you.”
• Free-will and freedom
• Seeing what you planted spurt out and grow into a giant
• Doesn’t make sense to be in awe for it?
• There are many paths to success, fulfilment, joy, and happiness
• Good food and good drinks. Enough said!
• Hearty laughter
• The fact that it’s all temporary. Nothing is permanent. You can always change it.
• Discounts and steal deals
• All free things. Pure air, fresh water, parents’ love, friends’ affection, partner’s attachment.
• Moments of enlightenment and realization.
• Enjoying silent times.
• Last but not least, all of you who are reading this list. We celebrate you all.

Is there anything else important we missed? Please let us know in the comments section. We’re excited to know your valuable perspectives on this matter.

Every Relationship has problems

Relationships help us live some of our most beautiful memories and at the same time, we often end up taking them for granted. As the saying goes, it takes losing something to realize its worth and importance. This is the unfortunate reality for many people living through fruitless relationships and most of them calling it an end resulting in unpleasant experiences.

In that context, being aware of problems that pop-up in a relationship and knowing how to tackle them could be a great value-add. It helps to remember that problems in a relationship are as common as pests in a crop. The problems in your relationship could be unique to your own situation but broadly, most problems fall into these categories:

Communication:

There is always that initial excitement and eventual boredom in conversations. It helps to keep up the spark of exploration and sharing interesting pursuits with each other. One also generally assumes that they know the other person but we are always evolving in our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Hence, it is important to keep listening. 

Trust:

Do you trust your partner’s opinions? Are you confident about their discernment when it comes to making big decisions? Also, are you confident about their ability to care for you in your vulnerable moments? Are you comfortable with them hanging out with their friends? Insecurity is a big deal-breaker and a vicious cycle to put up with. Instead, share your feelings with your partner and gain their assurance to feel light.

Jealousy:

Jealousy about one’s partner making better progress or getting more attention is not helpful. They are your better half and you have a definite part in their accomplishments. So, it makes sense to celebrate each other’s wins instead of comparing yourself with them.

Incompatibility:

It is better to figure out incompatibilities in the courting phase and walk your own paths instead of living with frustrations. If it’s too late for that, compromises may be made on all things barring core values by either party.

Sex drive: 

The excitement of the first few years wears off and it starts feeling like a chore and that’s exactly when you need to reignite it by trying different things and going to new places. Achieving things together also sparks the winning feeling and thus better sex.

Money:

It is important to realize that earning more often doesn’t solve the problem. Being smart about using what you have and creating small new ways of improving your cash-flows keeps both of you creative and happy. A comparison is better kept at bay.

Time: 

Yes. We live in a time poor world. We are more occupied than ever. Just when you feel that you don’t have any time for your partner is the exact moment when you should take out an hour or two for regular ice-cream dates or for indulging in hobbies together.

Individual space:

Spending time away from each other is as important as spending time together. It contributes for new experiences and growth better suited to individual tastes.

Healthy Living Tips: Frequently, I have to counsel my patients on how to live a healthy lifestyle. Given below are the tips that I share with them. My advice and guidance to you would be to follow this lifestyle for about six weeks and then notice the change in your life.

Eat Clean

The most important advantage that you can give to your body is to eat clean food. Eat real, whole foods, this means it is much better to eat a whole mango than a mango ice cream. Eat brain-boosting foods such as almonds. When it comes to the color of your food, think the rainbow colors. The rainbow has multiple colors, and your food should also be multi-colored (naturally) eat yellow mangos, purple brinjals, green cucumbers, and white curd. Make each meal a multi-colored extravaganza. Choose high-quality lean proteins such as daals. Buy chemical free foods, there are shops selling organic food, buy that. Drink at least 2 liters of water daily, the more water you drink the more toxins will be flushed out of your body. And finally, cook at home, eat outside food less and less.

Exercise

Choose something fun to do, if you enjoy cricket or badminton start playing those games. Create a SMART plan for your exercise. A smart plan has the following 5 characteristics: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely. Track your progress, maintain a dairy or use your smartphone to measure the amount you exercise daily. Pick a time that works for you.

Sleep

Get 7-8 hours of sleep daily. Period. Do not compromise on your sleep.

Think Positive

Start your day on a positive note, when you get out of bed in the morning, be happy, say a small prayer and thank God that you are alive. Listen to inspirational music. Focus on your blessings, while you may think that everything is going wrong in your life, that is not true. There are positive things happening daily. Focus on those.

Give more

Verbalize thankfulness, thank God, thank everyone who does something for you. Help some in need, being generous to those who are less fortunate than you will help you live your life healthily.

Love

Embrace supportive relationships, there are people, friends, relatives and others who are supportive of you. Embrace these people. And wean away from unhealthy relationships.

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Fitness Motivation: Everyone dreams and desires to have a fit, muscular body.  The only difference between those who have this body and those who are only dreaming this body is motivation. They need to remember, only they can change their body, nobody can do it for them.  For those who are lacking the motivation of going to the gym, because they are too busy, too tired, or don’t have enough money to join a gym, let me tell that these are just excuses, and they need to get over these excuses.

For those who feel that they don’t have enough money to join a gym: a good jog in the park, followed by push-ups, and some planks doesn’t cost any money!  Those of us who are too tired to exercise: they will be astounded by the increase in energy after exercising. For those who are too busy to exercise: I just have one piece of advice, if you can’t spare 4% ( i.e. one hour) of your day to improving your health, you need to just remember today you are sacrificing your health chasing money, tomorrow you will be sacrificing your money to regain your health. And let me assure you that, that is practically impossible.

So if you are too de-motivated to exercise, here are some of my favorite tips:

Remove those invisible barriers,

That prevent you from going to the gym, nobody at the gym is making fun of you or judging, because you are fat, unfit, or don’t know how to use the fancy equipment. Everyone in the gym is working on improving themselves and not staring at you.

Take a friend along with you to the gym,

Nothing better than a friend to motivate you to get out of bed, and hit the gym. Plus it will give you the confidence to have someone you know with you

Join the gym that you like,

Find a gym either close to you home, or office/college, it shouldn’t be too far out of the way. Find a gym where the staff is friendly and gym trainers helpful. Joining a gym is an investment in your health, and this is not the place to save money on. Save money elsewhere, but not on the gym.

Track your progress,

Download a good app on your phone that allows you to track the distance you run or the amount you lift. Simply exceeding what you did yesterday will motivate you to do better today.

Don’t set extremely ambitious goals

That you will run a marathon, or bench press so much weight, your only goal, should be to better than you did yesterday.

Reward yourself when you do well,

But don’t make the reward a chocolate or a meal out, instead reward yourself with new clothes, trainer lesson, or a new supplement.

Make friends in the gym,

That muscular weight lifter who seems very intimidating most likely is the sweetest, gentlest person who would be more than happy to show you the right techniques

Go online

To youtube and see watch videos of people who have transformed their bodies, learn from their mistakes.

Remember, you won’t get an amazing chiseled body by dreaming about it, but you get it by working for it. It takes 3 months of regular working out for others to notice the change in you. So, don’t wait just go for it!

Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli

Becoming sexier: Ever since the dawn of mankind, men have wanted to appear more appealing so as to be able to attract women. You can call it becoming more attractive, becoming more charming or becoming sexier.  The primal need is to attract a partner of the opposite sex who finds you appealing.

This isn’t a complex process, just 4 simple steps are what differentiate between a sexier and not so sexy man.

Confidence:

A confident man can be seen from a distance, his stance, his gait, and posture set him apart from the crowd. To be confident you need to accept yourself for whom you are. Accept yourself for all your major and minor flaws. Differentiate between arrogance and confidence, arrogance is negative and superficial, something that people put one, confidence is internal and positive and exudes itself.

Grooming and Hygiene:

Bath, shower frequently, clip your nails, keep your hands clean, a nice hair cut and a shaved or trim beard is essential. Use a deodorant, just enough, don’t overdo it. Brush your teeth twice a day, use dental floss. Nothing is more charming than white shiny teeth when you smile. Wash your face daily and have fresh glowing skin. Pluck that uni-brow and have two distinct eyebrows! Use cologne daily but sparingly. If you can smell your own cologne you have overused it.

Conversation:

Learn to converse, if you are shy about conversing; rehearse what you would like to speak about. Pick up a couple of conversation starters on latest books, movies, or other current topics. Keep watching her body language to check if she is engaged in listening to what you are saying, if not, or switch topics quickly.

Good Humor:

Every woman appreciates a man with a good sense of humor, practice a couple of jokes, and keep a repertoire of jokes in your memory ready. Women love funny guys!  Women like humor, social tact, and sexiness.

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Becoming Handsome – There’s a handsome guy hiding inside every man’s body.

I recently had an extremely successful young man, come for counseling. He was a typical overachiever, a graduate of a top engineering college, and MBA from a top university and having a high paying job, but feeling unsuccessful because of his looks. I am sharing with you the advice I gave him.

Handsomeness can be increased dramatically in almost all men by doing at least one of:

Haircut:

Grow your hair a little longer in length than usual, and then go for the most expensive haircut you can afford, try going on a weekday when the barber isn’t so busy. Treat the barber like a consultant, talk to him, carry some hair style photos on your phone, and spend some time discussing the pros and cons with him. This is also a good time to indulge yourself in a shampoo, blow dry, a pedicure and a manicure along with a facial.

Skincare:

Nothing more important than to look after your skin, drink lots and lots of water, and daily use a moisturizer along with sun block when you step out in the sun.

New wardrobe:

Update your wardrobe, next time you go shopping, buy quality, and premium clothes, treat the sales staff as guides on what suits you and what doesn’t. Also invest in a good watch, and expensive shoes.

Lose weight:

If you are above your ideal body weight, consider losing weight, it pays to go to a professional dietician and learning how to do it correctly.

Build muscle:

Fit and muscular men are not handsome!

Increase confidence:

“Low self-confidence isn’t a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered–just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better.” –Barrie Davenport

The last one, i.e. increase confidence is the most powerful one. If you are just a normal “ugly guy” you can 100% with some effort to improve your looks dramatically. Other people tend to treat you as well as you treat yourself, so learn to treat yourself well.

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All images are courtsey Pixabay

Mothers Love: Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.

Things your mother never told you:

•You made her cry..a lot:

Every time you hurt, she hurt, when you didn’t fare well in school or got into fights in the playground, she would hurt and cry. But she hid her tears so that you wouldn’t see her tears as a sign of her weakness. She wanted to remain strong for you.

• She wanted that last piece of cake:

She endlessly sacrificed her wants her desires and her needs for you. She wanted that symbolic last piece of cake but gave it to you so that your needs came before hers.

• It hurts:

Being a mother hurts, every cruel remark you, every time you refused to eat the meal she cooked, it hurt her.

• She was always afraid:

She was afraid when you stepped out of the house, till the moment you re-entered the house. As long as you were under her protected sight, you were safe. At any moment she would sacrifice her life to protect you.

• She knows that she is not perfect:

She knows that she has flaws and you didn’t need to remind her. She is working on fixing them. To you, your mother may not be perfect, but she is continuously striving to improve herself.

• She watched you as slept:

Even as you grew older she watched you sleep. The systematic rhythm of your breathing while you slept, gave her confidence that you were safe and secure.

• She carried you a longer than nine months:

She may have carried you only for 9 months in her womb, but she carried you much longer in her heart.

• She put you first:

She has always cherished you and put you first before herself

• She would do it again:

Despite the stress of nourishing you in her womb, the pain of childbirth and the effort of raising you. She would do it again and again. Never doubt that.

The law of the universe is that a woman can’t become a mother without a man, so the most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

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It is a well-known fact that attractive people earn more, are more successful, have more friends, and have more of the better things in life. Fortunately becoming more attractive is a learned activity, and anyone and everyone can become more attractive. There is a difference between becoming more attractive and more beautiful for women and more handsome for men. While becoming more beautiful or handsome is also possible that is a topic for a future blog. This blog is focussed on becoming more attractive.

For a person to be considered attractive it isn’t just about the person’s physical appearance, but it is about increasing your confidence level, creating your own persona and style and to look after your grooming and how you appear.

To be more attractive is simple, and you need to do the following 3 things only:

 Have a Good Personality:

To have a personality that is attractive to other people, you need to be more confident, and more relaxed. Stop living in the past or the future live in the present moment. Improve your listening skills, people talking to you should feel that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say, and be honest and respectful to what they have to say. Share your own passions and interests with others, and constantly do different things that enrich your life. Enrich your life with new experiences whether it is bungee jumping or learning to bake a cake. You need to be true to yourself, and honest about whom you are, and never change yourself to meet someone else’s expectations.

 You can boost your physical Attractiveness:

First, you need to realize that your physical appearance is just a small portion of your overall attractiveness. If you are overweight, lose some weight, if you are underweight then gain some weight. If you are a female, wear makeup, if you are a male, groom yourself, shave, look after your skin. Learn how to modulate your voice. How you sound makes you very attractive, you can learn to modulate your voice.

 Learn to take care of yourself:

Don’t be harsh on yourself for your past mistakes. Learn to love yourself and be kind to yourself. Improve your fitness levels, make daily exercise a regime. Drink plenty of water each day, it will rejuvenate your skin and bring a nice glow to it, and don’t forget to sleep 7-8 hours daily, and eat healthy nutritious foods, they will bring a glow to your skin. One of the best-kept secrets of attractiveness is a good smile, look after your teeth, and practice smiling in front of a mirror. Just like bodybuilders build their biceps, attractive people train their facial muscles to give that perfect smile. And last but not least, look after your hair, good healthy shiny hair couple with an excellent haircut add quantum to your attractiveness quotient.

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