To the single person, the life of a married couple seems ideal. The married person always has a companion, someone to love and be loved by at all times. On the other hand, if you ask a married person they will tell you that married life is not a bed of roses, and there are many ups and downs and compromises in a marriage. Those of you, who have found an ideal mate are extremely fortunate and lucky, and their life will most likely be bliss.

Those who haven’t found a mate that is compatible with them will have a life full of challenges and stress, and the marriage can even end in divorce.  Divorce in itself is extremely stressful, mentally, physically and also financial draining. While there is no sure shot way of identifying an ideal mate, given below are 5 pointers that will help you decide if the person you are considering to marry is right for you. This list is applicable to both men and women.

How does this person make you feel?

When you are with this person which emotions are evoked in you? Is it happiness, stress, joy, sadness, confusion? Do you enjoy the time you spend with this person? If the feelings aren’t positive, and happy, you may be heading towards a danger zone.

Do both of you have similar life goals?  

Are your goals similar, do both of you want children, what do you think about success, finances, how much do you care about the size of the house, the number of cars and the job title.

Do both of you share similar beliefs?

Are your religious beliefs the same? Cross religion marriages cause stress, if one of you is an atheist, and the other one is deeply religious this can lead to turmoil in the family. Do you share the same beliefs on food (vegetarian vs non-vegetarian), alcohol, drugs etc?

Would this person get along with your friends and family?

Would this person gel well with you immediate family? Will your parents accept him or her as another child? Will your siblings enjoy his or her company? What about your friends?

Are you physically  attracted to him or her?

Is there physical attraction towards this person? Do you like their smile, the twinkle in their eyes?  Does the aesthetics of their face, body structure appeal to you?

In conclusion, if you find that you are incompatible with the person, it is best to end the relationship sooner than later. It is not sensible to invest time and emotions in a relationship which may not have a long term viability. Eventually it is your life, and you are the person who will spend the next several decades with this person.  Choose wisely.

More about Dr. Prerna Kohli

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.

A lot of people make New Year Resolutions. Hence, it is estimated that almost 40% of the population makes resolutions at the beginning of the year. But, the question is how many of us adhere to our resolutions for the entire year? Unfortunately not too many of us have the willpower or ability to carry out our new year resolutions for the full year.

Some of the top New Year Resolutions:

Improve our fitness. Exercise more, eat healthier food, lose some weight, drink lesser alcohol, stop smoking etc.

Improve our state of mind. Thinking positively, enjoying our life, laughing more

Improve our money situation. Save more money, make more investments, spend wisely

Improve our career. Find a better job, become an entrepreneur, work harder at the current job

Improve our education. Especially for students, a promise to study harder

Improve our self. Reduce stress, become more positive, more organize, watch less TV

Travel

Help others by volunteering or doing more charity

Spend more time with loved ones as-well-as, family

Pray more, meditate, become more spiritual

Spend less time on Facebook, Instagram, and other social media

But, unfortunately, most of us break our New Year Resolutions within the first week itself. Thus, almost all of us break all our resolutions within the month of January itself.

To be more successful in following our resolutions for the entire year, follow these simple steps

Don’t make more than 3 resolutions, ideally one or two resolutions are more than enough

Remind yourself of your New Year Resolutions on a daily basis

In conclusion, a simple trick is to write / print your resolution on a piece of paper and laminate this paper and keep it somewhere, where you will see it daily, such as on your bedside. Remind yourself daily of your resolutions.  Therefore, the key is if you follow your resolution for the first forty days, the balance 325 days of the year will be easy. So follow your resolution religiously from January 1^st to February 10^th (40 days) and the rest of the year will take care of itself.

Wishing you and your loved one a Happy 2017. Learn more about Dr. Kohli

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counselling on being happy.

When I think of a group prayer the first image that comes to my mind is of Muslim men kneeling with their foreheads touching the ground. Prayers need not be in a group they can be your one-on-one conversation with God. A prayer need not be done in a temple or church, but can be done anywhere, such as in a car, on the bus, or when an airplane is taking off or even waiting outside the doctor’s office.

Praying in Gratitude

Frequently people pray to ask God for favors, please help me find my keys, a good job and a house, a life partner, or a clean chit from the doctor. Every one of us has indulged in asking God, but if a thought to consider is how frequently have you prayed to God to thank him for what you have or what you have received? You pray hoping to get that great job at a much higher salary, but how frequently do you thank God when you get that job? Did you get that job from Divine intervention or do you keep the full credit with yourself?

Frequently a prayer is a dialog with God, your conversation with Him, similar to a conversation you would have with a friend, sharing your concerns, unburdening your load, and having a chat with him as if he was your buddy.

Prayers: Food for the Soul

In 2008 Robbins, Francis, and Edwards did a research on 131 college students in Wales (UK). The research was on the correlation between prayer frequency and happiness. The conclusion of their study was “The data demonstrated an apparent simple correlation between prayer and happiness. At face value, this finding is consistent with the view that prayer promotes a more positive attitude toward life. It enhances personal happiness. “In another word, someone who prays regularly is happier than someone who pray’s infrequently or not at all.

There is an important question on the frequency of prayers. A well-known fact is that prayer is as important for the soul as food is for the body. How much or how frequently you eat is best known to you both underfeeding and overfeeding of food is unhealthy as is prayer.

Prayers and Spiritual Awakening

As a guest at a Christian family’s house, I felt spiritually awakened when the family invited me to join them in blessing the meal and thanking God for his abundance. Many years later, I infrequently eat without a prayer. My personal adaptation of a Catholic prayer is “Bless us God, and these gifts, which we are about to receive, from your bounty through you, my God. Amen.”

Prayers and Happiness – Dr. Prerna Kohli, India’s Topmost Psychologist

To learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli click here

All images courtesy Pixabay

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you, but it’s not the same as a professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness, and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with a solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.

We keep hearing about the Attitude of Gratitude, but what does it mean, and what is an Attitude of Gratitude?

Attitude of Gratitude simply means “making it a habit to express thankfulness and appreciation in all parts of your life, on a regular basis, for both the big and small things”.

The most important question that then arises is why should you have an Attitude of Gratitude? Below are the top 3 reasons why:

Gratitude shifts your mindset:  

Firstly, as your mindset shifts, things automatically start to happen for you without any additional effort on your part

Gratitude creates solutions:  

Secondly, as you are grateful for what you have, and not “anxious” for what you don’t have, you focus your energies on the positive and negative becomes positive.

Gratitude is contiguous:

Lastly, like a smile even gratitude is contiguous, one person being thankful and appreciate in a family or a business setting, when you are gratuitous it spreads to others around you, and this positive energy quick starts to spread and infect everyone else around you.

As we enter the Diwali season, it is that time of year when sharing, caring and being thankful for everything we have is on top of the mind. The Diwali season, in particular, causes us to think about all of the special things in our lives and express gratitude for them. It is vital to develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation. Always remember that gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

 “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need” – Dr. Prerna Kohli.

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.

 Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counselling on being happy.

The gut leads to happiness, young and old are rushing to acquire a six pack. Apparently, a six-pack abdomen today is the sign of health and vitality. Thus, young men and women spend hours each day in the gym building those six pack abs. So, I assume if they have such beautiful washboard six packs where you can count each of the pack, the insides of the abdomen must be equally healthy.

So, My focus is on teaching you how to make the inside of your digestive tract healthy leading to a happier you. Firstly, it is well-known fact that a healthy and clear digestive track leads to happiness. Thus, the ability to clear the stomach at a minimum on a daily basis is essential for your well being.

According to Dr. Kirsten Tillisch of the UCLA:

“Time and time again, we hear from patients that they never felt depressed or anxious until they started experiencing problems with their gut. Hence, Our study shows that the gut–brain connection is a two-way street… ‘When we consider the implications of this work, the old sayings ‘you are what you eat’ and ‘gut feelings’ take on new meaning.’”

In my opinion, one of the most significant books on stomach health has been written by Dr. Suhas Kshirsagar. One of the best ayurvedic holistic doctor/author. Thus, reading his book and research has opened my mind. Dr. Kshirsagar has written a book called “The Hot Belly Diet”. It is a very easy to read book, and should be essential reading for anyone who is feeling any discomfort in their gut. Hence, an extremely simple and easy book to follow, of about 300 pages it includes recipes and instructions. I have learnt the following few pointers from his book, and I am sharing them with you

Once in 90 days, it is extremely helpful to clear your digestive track by drinking two table spoons of castor oil mixed with fresh orange juice first thing in the morning. Please be sure to stay at home when you do this, as you will have multiple bowel movements, and a excellent cleansing of the stomach

Ayurvedic supplements Triphala and Trikatu are not habit forming, and should be a part of your daily routine

Eat three meals a day (not 5 or 6 as being suggested these days), with lunch being your heaviest meal of the day

Preferably be vegetarian (or reduce the amount of red meat in your diet)

This book is highly recommended to all my readers, as it contains numerous nuggets of healthy living.

A tip that I learnt from observing my father is to eat at least half a cup of yoghurt twice a day. Make sure it’s either homemade i.e. the healthy bacteria in it alive. If it is store purchased yogurt verify that it has the live probiotic bacteria in it. A research funded by Danone and conducted by the researchers at UCLA (Dr. Kirsten Tillisch et al) indicated that a controlled group of subjects who had yogurt twice a day for four weeks compared to those who were give a placebo or no yogurt had improve emotional reactions. We have seen that yogurt has been a stable in the diets across the Indian and the Mediterranean diets. Incorporate yogurt into your diet and within four weeks you should see your health improve and your happiness index increase.

“You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need” – Dr. Prerna Kohli.

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counselling on being happy.

Ubuntu for Happiness!

“Ubuntu is a philosophy that considers the success of the group above that of the individual.” Stephen Lundin

South African author and environmentalist Boyd Varty articulate the South African concept of Ubuntu as “Ubuntu: I am because of you.” Or, “people are not people without other people. It’s not a new idea or value but it’s one that I certainly think at these times is worth building on. In fact, it is said that in the collective consciousness of Africa, we get to experience the deepest parts of our own humanity through our interactions with others.”

Thus, Ubuntu asks us to open our hearts and to share, for it is in giving that there is true happiness.

The South African Nobel Laureate Archbishop Desmond Tutu describes Ubuntu as:

‘It is the essence of being human. It speaks of the fact that my humanity is caught up and is inextricably bound up in yours. I am human because I belong. It speaks about wholeness, it speaks about compassion.

Ubuntu originates from the African tribal dialect and is pronounced as “uu-boon-two”, and is a way of African philosophy, of living: where sharing with other fellow human spells the purpose of being human. In giving and sharing is there joy and happiness.

Imagine that there is the tastiest dish in the world, and you are eating it alone, nobody to share it with, there aren’t enough words in the dictionary to describe it’s exquisiteness, how would you explain that to someone else? Now imagine that you are sharing this same dish with someone else, to be able to experience the splendor of happiness on this shared experience.

Frequently a study done on African tribal children is quoted to explain Ubuntu. In an experiment, an anthropologist placed a container of candy at the base of a tree. He then explained that at a command by him, all the children would rush to the candy. Thus, The first one to reach would get all the candy exclusively. On his command, the children looked at each other, held hands and all reached the candy at the same time and divided it equally among themselves. When the anthropologist questioned the children’s behavior they responded: “Ubuntu. How could anyone of us be happy if all the others were sad?”

In conclusion, Ubuntu is a philosophy of African tribes that can be summed up as “I am what I am because of who we all are.” There is happiness in sharing, share selflessly.

More about Dr. Prerna Kohli

“You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as a professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need” – Dr. Prerna Kohli.

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counselling on being happy.

Coffee Keeps Mental Problems Away. Whoever said that coffee is not good for you was completely wrong. Coffee is a key to happiness.  Everyone remembers their first cup of coffee. It was bitter, scalding hot and the cause of a sleepless night. But after that a lifelong habit.

Coffee keeps mental problems away and drinkers are happy people. As you travel the world and especially in Europe both young and old are sitting in small groups enjoying their coffee, conversing and starting their day on a high.

Coffee is generally associated with happiness, meeting friends and loved one. So often we use the phrase, “let’s meet for a coffee next week”. Scientists have known for many years that coffee stimulates the release of the neurotransmitter dopamine. Dopamine produces the euphoria and pleasant feelings that people often associate with their first cup of coffee in the morning.

Coffee makes us feel so good because in the brain it releases all those hormones which give us a feel good feeling. Science says that coffee (in a much milder way) releases the same hormones in the brain that drugs do.

An interesting piece of trivia, the word coffee originates from “kafaa” a place in Southern Ethiopia famous for it coffee beans. The word became cafe or caffe in Italian and Spanish and final coffee in modern English.

Having coffee as a shot of espresso, diluted with hot or cold milk, sweetened with milk and sugar is a matter of personal preference, but the approximate 95 mg of caffeine is the kicker which can’t be negotiated. 

Coffee in moderation is recommended, beyond that it can lead to problems such as lack of sleep, anxiety, and palpitations. Coffee addicts are moving to decaffeinated coffee, I recommend moderation instead.

Go ahead, have your coffee, you know I am going to definitely start my day with a cup of Cappuccino!

More about Dr. Kohli

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you, but it’s not the same as a professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”

Prerna is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness, and Inner Peace. She is dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others. Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with a solid understanding. And creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India. With over 20 years of experience and has been providing families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.