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“Intimacy is the freedom and acceptance to be yourself with that “one” person!

Psychologist Dr. Prerna Kohli

People always confuse sex with intimacy.

Only Sex isn’t intimacy. But Intimacy can be sex! Sex is physical attraction/intercourse between two individuals and needs to have an emotional bond to be intimate. Unfortunately, sex doesn’t guarantee intimacy. Sex is a part of intimacy and intimacy can be physical, emotional, sometimes intellectual and spiritual too.

So, the question exists, “Are sex and intimacy two different things?” “Can you have one without the other? Or does one lead to another?” Not everyone has similar thoughts; there are a lot of different opinions about it.

Intimacy is the heart of Sex

In an Intimate relationship, we allow the other person to enter into our heart, mind, body, and soul. Being intimate with your partner requires you to be open and honest with him or her, and it is from this state of intimacy when one enters a sexual activity.

Sex, within a relationship, is the most intimate act. When a couple is making love there isn’t just a physical act but also a deep connection with your partner which is intimate.

Intimacy without Sex

Sex is not the only way in which people give and receive love, so although it is very important, it is not the only way to create or express intimacy. In cases of medical issues like a lady who has given birth & is yet to heal or a person has undergone any surgery may not have sex, but still have an intimate relationship with the partner.

Intimacy is getting a simple morning hug from your partner, a non-sexual touch, a cheek kiss, enjoying each other’s company, having meaningful talks, caring for each other, laughing together for stupidest reasons, praising and motivating your loved one. It may not have Sex all the time.

Sex without Intimacy

Sex without intimacy is like food without hunger. Rape is Sex, without consent, an act that is paid for (prostitution) or even a one night stand may not be intimate. It’s just physical act with no emotions attached. But there can be a conflict that there is nothing more intimate than two people uniting and offering sex, therefore connecting, even in the case of a one-night stand.

A marriage can be more successful when both Sex and Intimacy are present. But with no intimacy and only sex would lead to a troubled marriage.

To learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli click here

All images courtesy Pixabay

The Kinsey Scale also is known as the Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale. The scale goes from Zero to Six, where zero is the completely heterosexual and six is completely homosexual.

According to Alfred Kinsey, also known as the father of the sexual revolution, it is not possible to divide the world into a heterosexual and homosexual population.

Below is a pictorial representation of the ranges of the Kinsey and their explanation.

Signs that Your Husband or Boyfriend is a homosexual

1. He doesn’t look or check out other women: You maybe be in a committed relationship, but it the human tendency of heterosexual men to notice all women if your partner is not checking out other women, it may be a sign that he is a homosexual.
2. He checks out other men: If an attractive man walks into the room does your significant stop to look at him? He may be interested in men more than he is interested in women.
3. He is physical with other men: If he is touchy feely with other men. He enjoys the company of other men more then the company of women, this may be an indication of him being gay
4. He is homophobic: He displays a great dislike for gay people. This is a sign of his him being unsure of his own sexuality. A straight man most likely has nothing against gay men.
5. He is obsessed with other peoples sexuality: He is constantly assuming, talking about or commenting that other people may be gay.
6. Lack of interest in sex with you: He has very limited interest in sex with you. The reason for this is that he may be asexual, or he may be a homosexual.
7. His online behavior is suspicious: He is viewing gay porn or has gay friends and contacts on social media. Or he is listed on a gay dating website.

Your next Steps

There is a probability that since he is in a relationship with you, he isn’t gay but he is bisexual. Not every man who likes other men is gay, there is a silent majority of men who are bisexual.

So should you be worried if your man is bisexual? Most likely not, as long as he isn’t cheating on you. The fact that he is attracted to both men and women is no different than him being attracted to women other than you.

If your partner’s sexual preferences are confusing you, it makes sense to talk to an experienced Psychologist, who will be able to help you deal with your concerns.

Please read the connected article: Is your Husband Bisexual

To learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli click here

All Images courtesy Pixabay

September 06, 2018, will mark an important day for the LGBT community in India. The Supreme Court of India abolished Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code (IPC).  This law came into effect in the year 1982. It stated that the carnal intercourse against the order of nature with man, woman or animal was punishable with imprisonment of a lifetime or at least 10 years of jail, with or without fine.

Today’s judgment symbolizes the beginning of unbiased treatment for the LGBTQ community in our country. For a very long time, the community has been harassed and struggled. They had been treated as the discarded sections, always. But the decision of abolishing Section 377 is a huge initiation in terms of equality.

Chief justice Dipak Misra and Justices DY Chandrachud, AM Khanwilkar, Indu Malhotra, and Rohinton Fali Nariman decreed that LGBTQ community will now have the same sexual rights just like everyone else.

The Journey

In 2009, Delhi High court had declared that any consensual sexual act between homosexuals in private is not illegal. But later, Justice G S Singhvi did not validate the decision and said that it is on the members of Parliament to make any decision on the topic.

However, in April 2014, the Supreme Court suggested the government to declare transgender as the third sex and should be able to practice all the rights under the law and also asked the community in the OBC category. Naz Foundation in April 2016 filed a petition and the Chief Justice, TS Thakur decided to review the same along with a constitutional bench of 5 other members.

The Verdict

Finally, following the small steps over the time, here is the decision, taken for the welfare of the LGBTQ community. From the common man to the United Nations, everyone is praising the decision. There is a wave of happiness all over the country.

The Psychological Benefits of the verdict

The verdict is the right step in the direction of equality as there will be no victimization or labelling of any alternate sexuality. This might not end discrimination totally, but this will open the doors of acceptance for people of the LGBT community. The harassment and blackmailing of the gay people will stop, which had actually been one of the major reasons in the past for them to remain in the closet. The homosexuals who married the opposite sex due to the stigma can come out now, ending their unhappy marriages.

Accepting others for who they are is the biggest support one can give each other. Sexuality is not an acquired trait, its very much natural.

All the protests and demonstrations finally end in a fruitful result. From here on, there will be hearts full of love and heads held up high with pride.

Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli