In this day to day hustle of life, we tend to ignore other people around us or be dismissive about their emotions and feelings. So, If someone around is feeling low, depressed we tend to believe that they deserved it, or their own actions and poor judgment put them in that situation.

Empathy is defined as the awareness of the emotions and feelings of others. Thus, Empathy is a pillar of emotional quotient (EQ). In a future blog we will discuss what EQ vs IQ.

Empathy is intuitive; some people are more loving, caring and giving than others. So, for those who aren’t emphatic by nature, it can be a learnt behavior. As I repeatedly say, Fake it, till you make it.

Given below are Seven Ways to be More Empathetic:

Focus yourself on the welfare of others

Suspend your own judgment, and look at it from another’s Point of View (POV)

Listen, without judgment, listen with your ears, eyes, heart and instinct

Ask the other person what they want

Pay attention to the words, emotions and physical and mental behavior

Encourage

Don’t be stubborn, be flexible and open minded in your thoughts

Empathy is about standing in someone else’s shoes, feeling with his or her heart, seeing with his or her eyes. It makes the world a better place. Empathy is born from the phrase, Love Thy Neighbor as Thy Self.

“You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need” – Dr. Prerna Kohli.

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counselling on being happy. 

Social anxiety /social interaction is the fear of being in public places, to worry about what people will think of the clothes you are wear or what to say when you meet someone new.

Typically people worry about things that the other party don’t even find important. The good thing is that Social Anxiety is not only treatable but the treatment has a very high success rate. Social Anxiety attacks both the young and the old, and it is frequently seen in the elder, who make excuses to stay at home instead of attending family events and functions. At the heart of Social Anxiety is the fear of evaluation i.e. what will people say about me.

Understand the symptoms of social anxiety

Understand the physical symptoms of social anxiety, i.e. sweaty palms, sweating, inability to speak

Recognize the triggers of what causes you to have these attacks

Understand the situations you tend to avoid, such as parties, office lunches

Write down a list of situations that give you social anxiety

Practice relaxation techniques such as meditation

Practice breathing techniques

Learn to face your fears, if you are unable to help yourself, then you should meet with an experienced psychologist who is trained and has a track record of helping patients in these circumstances.

“You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need – Dr. Prerna Kohli.”

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and also a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Child Psychologist in India and provides individuals, families, parents and children counselling on being happy.

Some people suffer from the irrational fear of heights. Technically it is called Acrophobia, it is an irrational fear or phobia of heights,  even when one is not very high up. Everyone has a certain degree of fear when at a height; this is known as the fear of falling. But, it is acceptable to have this fear as it safeguards most of us. Hence, those who don’t have a fear of falling are excellent in high rise building window cleaning, and other such activities.

Acrophobia suffers can get panic attacks in high places and can become so agitated that it becomes difficult to bring them down safely. Interesting twice as many women than men suffer from Acrophobia and about two percent of the population suffers from it in various degrees.

Here are seven tips to overcome your fear of heights:

• Understand and face your fear
• Consider the actuality of the outcomes of your fear
• Relax
• Remove caffeine from your diet
• Know your personal limits
• Meet with an experienced psychologist and discuss your acrophobia
• Learn anxiety control techniques & Experience gradual exposure therapy

“You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need” – Dr. Prerna Kohli.

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

 Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides individuals, families, parents and children counselling on raising healthy and well rounded children.   

Does it worry you that a metal tube, filled with highly inflammable fuel and hundreds of people is hurling through the skies?

Does this fear prevent you from stepping on an aeroplane? Or does it create extreme anxiety and fear in your mind when your loved ones are riding them?

How at 10,000 meters above the ground at un-imaginable speeds these aeroplanes are crisscrossing the skies without hitting one another?

This fear is in your mind, and meeting an experienced psychologist will resolve this problem.

Very recently an extremely successful businessman was unwilling to send his child overseas to study. He was suffering from this irrational fear of flying. With the date of travel coming closer the family approached me to help resolve his fear. So the son could leave in time before college started. I am happy to say that not only did the son leave for college in time, the businessman along with his wife also travelled with the son.

Below are seven simple tips to implement in your life, if you are scared to fly:

Fake it:

There is excellent saying fake it, till you make it keep pretending that you aren’t scared to flying, until the time that you aren’t scared to fly in an aeroplane.

Memorize the facts:

Learn the facts about aeroplane safety, today flying are the safest form of transport, it much safer than the road, rail or ship.

Drink a wine or pop a sleeping pill:

This will relax you and put your mind at ease

Sit in the front of the plane:

It is the turbulence in the flight that causes in-flight panic, the ride in the front of the plane is much smoother

Inform relevant people:

Tell the check-in counter staff, the air hostess and the passengers sitting next to you that you are scared of flying.There is no shame in doing so, and they will help you handle this fear. You don’t have to be loud about it, just convey the message softly

Stay distracted:

Watch a movie, listen to music, read a book, work on your laptop, if your mind is busy, you won’t have time to have anxiety

Rubber band trick:

Wear a rubber band around your wrist, every time you have an anxiety attack on the flight snap the band on your wrist. The pain will distract you from the fear and bring you back to reality.

If you or someone you know has a fear of flying, meet an experienced psychologist.  If required the psychologist may accompany you on the flight to provide in-flight counseling to address the fear of flying.

“You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained and an experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need – Dr. Prerna Kohli.”

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides counselling on fear and anxiety

 Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata, ain’t no passing craze
It means no worries for the rest of your days, yeah, sing it, kid
It’s our problem-free philosophy, Hakuna Matata

Hakuna Matata
Hakuna Matata

The “The Lion King” a Walt Disney production

it  is a Swahili phrase that literally translates into English as have no worries. Firstly, Swahili is the mother tongue of the Swahili people. It is spoken by various communities living in the African Great lakes regions including countries such as Tanzania, Kenya, Uganda, Rwanda, Burundi, Mozambique and Congo. So, The phrase shot into popular culture with the song by the pop group of the 1980s Boney M their song “Jambo – Hakuna Matata”, it was reinforced into pop culture from the film The Lion King in 1994. Simba the lead character in the movie is taught by his mentors to Hakuna Matata, that is not to have worries and live in the present, and forget his troubled past. 

Leave behind your worries and live in the present, as did Simba. So, Simba has a troubled past where his father Mustafa is killed by his younger brother Scar, and Simba is led to believe that he is responsible for his father’s death. Thus, post a fierce battle young Simba is able to regain his legacy and position as the leader of his tribe and kingdom.  If Simba could do it, so can you.

This Swahili phrase needs to be a part of your of your life.

As an experiment watch the Disney movie The Lion King and adopt the philosophy Hakuna Matata in your life.

“You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need – Dr. Prerna Kohli.”

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and also a Holistic Practitioner. Hence, She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Hence, Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides to those seeking happiness in their life.

Not only does divorce impact your personal life, your standing in society, it can also have serious repercussions on your work life, and your performance in the office.

Divorce Counseling with Dr. Prerna Kohli

It seems like, divorce can have a direct impact on your salary, your increments, and bonuses. Your job performance will suffer and while your employers can’t legally terminate you for being divorced. But, drop in performance has serious ramifications.

Given below are the 7 impacts of divorce on your work-life:

Reduced Productivity: Firstly, research shows that it takes 5 years for a divorced employee to rebound to the same level of productivity.

Unable to Travel: Furthermore, divorced employees with children or other household responsibilities have a limitation on their ability to travel for work.

Disruptive Impact on the Organization:  In addition, if a key employee is undergoing divorce their absence physically and mentally from the office can have serious impact on the organization

Distraction: Another concern is, distracted employees work slower and make more mistakes at the workplace, this can a serious impact for those who operate heavy machinery. People who are in customer-facing roles get the impact.

Depression: Rather, depressed employees are less creative. Hence the quality of work gets the impact. Thus, People in advertising and other creative fields which involve design see the effect.

Reduced confidence: As a result, the feeling of rejection from the personal life manifests itself in the workplace.

Rebound Relationships: Consequently the divorced employee seeks emotional support in the workplace making them vulnerable to a more toxic situation.

Progressive companies, have EAP (Employee Assistance Programs) to aid their employees in this period. In conclusion, if you are contemplating divorce, or are in the process of divorce or in the post-divorce phase, it is highly recommended to meet with an experienced psychologist.

“You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you. It’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need – Dr. Prerna Kohli.”

More About Dr. Kohli

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness, and Inner Peace. She is dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others. Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with a solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Child Psychologist in India. She provides both parents and children counseling on raising healthy and well-rounded children.

Keep a pet, if you already own a pet spend time with it!

Owning a pet, especially a dog is the happiest being you can have. They become the happiest being when you return home from work, school or even a few minutes walk outside. They exhibit pure and selfless love, and they become the source of your happiness.

A pet is a serious responsibility, a dog will generally live for 8-15 years, require meals at least three times a day, bathing, grooming, vet visits, frequent walks and occasional accidents in the house that need to be addressed, all of these add up to commitments and expenses. There is a clear return on investment (ROI) on the time and money that you spend on your pet. Owning a pet induces a series of healthy behaviours, such as the sense of responsibility for another life, and the frequent exercise. Owning a pet reduces blood pressure and stress and it has been scientifically proven that pet owners generally are healthier and live longer and more enriched lives. The American Heart Association has linked dog ownership with healthier lifestyles and longer lives.

Owning either a cat or a dog has therapeutic benefits, as they full fill one of the greatest needs of a human being, that being the need to be touched.

Quoting the American Heart Association, studies have shown that:

Pet owners are less likely to suffer from depression than those without pets

People with pets have lower blood pressure in stressful situations than those without pets.

Playing with a pet can elevate levels of serotonin and dopamine, which calm and relax.

Pet owners have lower triglyceride and cholesterol levels (indicators of heart disease) than those without pets.

Heart attack patients with pets survive longer than those without.

Pet owners over age 65 make 30 percent fewer visits to their doctors than those without pets.

In Hinduism feeding a dog brings good karma, and feeding a black dog wards off evil.

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India.

Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.” 
― John Lennon

Psychologist Robert Zajnoc has published one of the most significant scientific papers correlating happiness with smiling, in his experiment subjects were made to repeatedly repeat the vowel “E” and “U”. Enunciating the vowel E stretches the lips toward the ears making a smile while the vowel U makes the lips pout. Subjects felt happier saying the vowel E. Also, this experiment has been done with the subjects holds a pen in the mouth at a 90-degree angle to their lips resulting in pouting or at 180 degrees to their lips resulting in a smile. Thus, Even a forced smile makes you feel happier.

Smiling is contagious!

A smiling person is always more welcome in a group, look at a group photograph, the smiling person always looks more attractive, and happier. Smiling releases endorphins those brain chemicals that relieve pain, stress and result in happiness.

Also, Smiling and frowning are both contagious, smiling people are considered more attractive, and attract others, who follow their lead of smiling.

Thus, Smiling changes your mood and tricks your body into feeling happier. Hence, Practice smiling, it is one of the best medicines to make your happier. So, Smiling people are perceived to be more confident, and more successful in the workplace.

Also, Smiling makes you look younger than your actual years. Thus, it pulls your muscles and gives you an instant face-lift, making you look younger. As you stand in front of the mirror and you practice smiling make sure it is a “real” smile, that makes your eyes twinkle and your eyes squish. Thus, Practice smiling with your eyes.

Lastly, Learn to forgive and smile, it will make you a happier person. Someone cut you off in the line, forgive them mentally as they know no better, and smile, it will make you feel better.

Charles Darwin the father of the theory of evolution said  in 1872 about smiling “Even the simulation of an emotion tends to arouse it in our minds”. According to Ron Gutman well known Stanford University alumni and research on smiling articulates that smiling releases more endorphins than chocolates, according to Gutman one smile releases more endorphins than 2000 bars of chocolates. I am sure your waistline will thank you for smiling!

For a simple experiment, take a deep breath, and say the vowel “E” as you release your breath. Repeat this exercise ten times, and note your emotions after you are done.

“I will never understand the all the good that a simple smile can accomplish”

Mother Theresa

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Child Psychologist in India and provides counselling to both adults and children.

  Never estimate the power of smell to make you happy. That bottle of perfume or cologne that you are saving for special occasions needs to be used every day. Remember that even perfumes have an expiry, with time, they lose their fragrance, it is much better to use it on a daily basis than to have to throw it away become it lost it fragrance.

Firstly, Just do a simple experiment to realize the importance of smell to make you feel happier, spend a

few moments near and sewage plant, or at any other source of the unpleasant smell, and then contrast this smell with a few minutes in a bakery. Which is a happier moment, where did you feel happier?  Pleasant smells create a feeling of well being and happiness.

Science has shown that there are a few smells that promote happiness some of these are

• Baking, the smell of bread or cake baking. It is believed that the aroma of vanilla in the cake baking in the oven enhances happiness

• Lavender, the smell associated with grandmothers, creates a sense of security and happiness

• Coffee, there is happiness in a simple cup of coffee

The Journal of Social Psychology has published scientific research that establishes the correlation between happiness and smell. So, their experiment indicated that pleasant aroma made people twenty-five percent happier. It is this happiness that is easy to garner.

Decide for yourself which smell makes you happier, is it vanilla or lemongrass or lavender? I have a simple trick that I can share with you, take an empty spray bottle, and fill it with water and a few drops of your favourite aroma oil, liberally spray this around your house. Use incense sticks, aroma oil burners and fill your home with pleasant smells that give you positive memories.

Divorce Counselling

“When I let go of what I am, I  become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu

A generation ago, the word divorce would be considered to be a big no-no. In the Indian context, there were very few divorces that took place. In most instances, the couple continued to live together unhappily under pressure from friends and family. Thus, the fear of society and what society would say.

Today the numbers of divorces in urban India are skyrocketing. While still very few compared to the United States of America. It is an estimation there that one of every two marriages will end up in divorce.

“If you are going through hell. Keep Going” – Winston Churchill

In my private practice I have seen that divorce counselling can be a need in the following stages:

Pre-separation: Either of the spouses has considered divorce; divorce has crept up in the arguments and fights. At this stage, marriage counselling is extremely helpful. Thus, Both of the spouses can have a healthy marriage. Also, live and love each other, if they want. Addressing and progressing through major issues like infidelity is important. Hence, the parameters of a healthy marriage established.

Separation: At this time the spouses attempt to have a trial separation, either one of them has moved out of the marital home, taken alternate and separate living accommodation and/or moved back to their parental home. At this stage counselling from an experienced psychologist is extremely beneficial, as there is a significant opportunity to resolve issues and maintain a healthy relationship. Couple counselling is the way to proceed. The chances of a marriage ending in divorce is high if one of the spouses don’t agree. marriage will end in divorce.

Divorce: During the period of 12-18 months, while the legal proceedings are underway, intense counselling is given to strengthen the individual emotionally and spiritually to handle living as a single person.

Post Divorce: There is an avalanche of emotions, accompanied by change in financial, marital, emotional and societal changes. The individual is extremely venerable and frequently rebounds to other unhealthy relationships, addictions, etc., and requires one-on-one counselling to be able to address the challenges ahead.

During a divorce, it becomes more complex if there is an involvement of a child. There is a misconception that if there are children, then the couple should stay together for the sake of the children. In reality, children of divorced parents are much better adjusted than children of a couple living together in an unhappy marriage.

The Best is Yet to Come

If you or anyone you is contemplating a divorce, please meet with an experienced psychologist who can guide you on living your life happily.