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When preparing to go on stage to perform, we all have butterflies in our stomach. While for some, the thrill and joy of performing might be invigorating, for the others, it might not. For them, just the thought of going onstage is a cause for palpitations and sweating, that can at times be quite debilitating as well. This fear of performing in front of everyone (also known as stage fright) and being the center of attention can take a heavy toll on some people. It might affect their self-confidence to the extent that they consciously and actively take steps to avoid such situations where they might be judged.

While practicing beforehand is a good way to get prepared for performing in front of people, it is not enough to reduce your fear. In order to overcome your fear, you need to work on and change your beliefs, negative thoughts, assumptions, and preconceived notions that you have related to performing.

Try the following tips to overcome your fear:

• Avoid too much caffeine, sugar or alcohol.
• Focus on the value that your act will add for the audience instead of focusing on yourself.
• Stop yourself (by saying out loud if needed) from having self-doubting thoughts which may evoke low self-confidence.
• Practice relaxation methods before you go onstage, to calm yourself down.
• Establish some connection with your audience. Greet, smile, and establish eye contact.

  

• Focus on your strengths. Think about the consequences in case your performance goes really well, rather than preoccupying yourself with scary thoughts about all the things that might go wrong.
• Do not panic in case something goes wrong. Prepare yourself for things that could possibly go wrong, in advance.
• Most importantly, understand that making mistakes is normal.

Do not aim for perfection, but at giving your best.

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When someone you know dies of committing a suicide, it can be one of the scariest and upsetting experiences of your life. It is perhaps one of the worst ways of losing someone you love as it often leaves one with feelings of helplessness and guilt. Why someone commits suicide is hard enough for adults to understand and accept, and so explaining or talking about it to children becomes even more of a challenge.

The reasons why most adults tend to hesitate or avoid having conversations about death (especially suicide) with children are twofold. One, these conversations make us feel uncomfortable. Two, we feel protective abou them. Therefore, we are afraid of the kind of impact they might have on the child. However, sooner or later, depending on how prepared you feel you as well as the child are to have the conversation, you will have to have this conversation with your child.

Some guidelines to help you go about doing it are as follows:

• Use simple language and avoid euphemisms such as “he/she went to a better place”. Be factual.
• Be honest. Explain suicide the way you would any other kind of death. Just like any other form of death is caused by a physical problem, explain how suicide is a result of issues related to mental health, without any blaming or judgment.
• Alter your content based on the child’s age.
• Encourage questions and be prepared to answer a lot of them.
• Be prepared to handle a range of reactions (such as disinterest, numbness, aggression, distress or withdrawal).

  

• Give them time to process this new information and support them in this process.
• Reassure them about their security.

It is important to understand that talking about suicide does not increase the risk of it.

Instead, it makes one aware how important mental health is in one’s life. It also helps one recognize suicide as an outcome of an illness rather than an act of selfishness or irresponsibility. It encourages one to be vigilant and seek as well as offer help in time.

Among youth aged between 10-24 years, suicide is the second most leading cause of death. With mounting pressure of exams and competition with peers, suicides are on a rise. Therefore, it becomes all the more important to talk about it with your child, so that they know that they can discuss it with you anytime they want. Understanding of the mental health issues that lead one to commit suicide, will help children recognize what places them at risk and talk about it.

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Benefits of owning a pet are coming to the forefront, as more and more research is being dedicated to this line of thought.

Following are the benefits that will hopefully motivate you to get a pet for yourself:

1. They love you unconditionally, and are a great source of support.
2. Pets provide you constant companionship and prevent against isolation. They make you feel needed.

   

3. They act as great listeners, and thus, provide a vent for your feelings.
4. Some pets need to be taken out for walks. As a result, they act as motivators for you to step out, exercise and interact with people. Thus, acting as protective factors against heart diseases and depression.
5. They help children with developmental disorders. For example, in case of autism, pets help improve their social interaction; in case of ADHD, they help children release their excess energy. They also help reduce the anxiety and stress that these children experience as a result of their daily life challenges.

   

6. A snuggle with your pet will help you calm down and get rid of your anxiety and stress.

   

7. By giving you a reason to wake up every morning, they provide your life with a sense of purpose.
8. Pets help provide some structure and routine to your day-to-day life.

It is because of the recognition of these mental health benefits that pets serve, that animals now are being used for therapy in the form of Animal Assisted Therapy (AAT).

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            Addiction to anything refers to an inability to control one’s impulses and as a result, compulsively indulging in the behavior under question in excessive amounts, to the extent that it causes disruption in one’s daily life functioning. Whether social media addiction can be considered a separate mental disorder, be considered a part of a pre-existing diagnostic category, or not be considered a disorder at all is still debatable.

How many of us check our Facebook or Instagram as the first thing we do in the morning?  Do you feel the urge to keep checking your social media accounts, every few minutes? Do you keep going back to your posts to see how many likes and comments it has received? On the face of it, social media addiction may just seem like a bad habit. However, seeing the rising incidence and intensity with which people engage in this habit is a clear sign that it has become much more than just a bad habit.

It is difficult to determine the point at which likeness for an activity changes into a habit, then to an unhealthy habit, and then crosses over the line to become an addiction that adversely affects a person’s life. Some signs that you may be addicted to social media are as given below:

• Being preoccupied with thoughts about the various social media platforms that you are on. Furthermore, thinking how you will use them to attract people’s attention.

  

• Feeling the urge to share everything happening in your life instantly on social media.
• Feeling the compulsion to keep checking others’ updates and views, likes, and comments on your posts.
• Using social media as a psychological escape from your problems.
• Being physically present but mentally engaged in social media, even when among people.
• Failure to complete the tasks set for the day due to being preoccupied and distracted by social media.
• Preferring online interactions and avoiding or fearing face-to-face interactions. This negatively affects your real life relationships since you spend more time online, rather than face-to-face interactions.

Research has found a link between excessive use of social media and poor mental health.

We all use social media, but what is it that makes some more prone than the rest to become addicted to it?

Risk Factors

• Suffering from anxiety disorder or depression.
• Experiencing too much stress, so using social media to decompress.
• Having poor social skills.
• Feeling you do not fit-in among the people around you.

Managing your Addiction

• Set aside certain times of the day for using social media. Create a schedule; do not use it beyond that.
• Switch off all notifications.
• Engage in alternate forms of communication, such as face-to-face interactions.

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Although incorrectly, empathy and sympathy are two distinct words that people often end up confusing and using interchangeably. Both the words share a similar root i.e. they are derived from the Greek word “pathos”, which means “feeling” or “suffering”. Therefore, both the words deal with emotions that one has in reference to another person. However, they are in no way synonymous because of the prefixes attached to them, which differentiates the meaning of the two words from each other.

While the prefix sym in the word sympathy, comes from the Greek word sýn, which means “together”, the prefix em in the word empathy, comes from the Greek word eń, which means “within”. Thus, while sympathy means sharing the same opinions, interests, or feelings as the other, empathy goes beyond sympathy. It denotes not only the sharing of emotions but also an understanding of them as if they are one’s own. So, while sympathy signifies feelings of pity and compassion towards someone’s sorrow and suffering, empathy refers to one’s ability to experience a situation by putting oneself in someone else’s shoes. This way, empathy involves the component of projection, which requires one to be able to imagine how the other person might be feeling in a situation.

Empathy is considered a higher order feeling because of its complex nature. Thus, you might find it easier to sympathize with someone than empathize with them. It is because of this reason that not everyone is said to be empathetic by nature. The two words might be used in similar contexts such as a death in one’s family. However, the following examples will clarify how the two words convey different feelings even in a similar context.

“I am sorry for your loss.”

This statement communicates sympathy. Sometimes, sympathy ends up conveying that the person facing the situation, is the only one suffering from the problem while the rest seem to be coping just fine. This might make the person in front of you feel patronized. Thus, instead of offering support, it might end up making them feel alone in their struggle.

“I can understand how hard this must be for you. Having lost a loved one myself, I know how this can feel.”

This statement communicates empathy. It conveys that feeling what the person is feeling right now is normal and common. Hence, it is more reassuring than the above statement.

A person is more likely to feel connected to the person who empathizes with them, rather than the one who sympathizes with them.

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Incidents like an older, taller boy troubling the shorter boy of his class or a junior by snatching away his tiffin or tripping him are fairly common.

We have all been a part of bullying at some point in our childhood. Whether it was as a survivor, a perpetrator or a bystander. Although these incidents in retrospect or from a distance may seem very trivial, bullying is a very serious act that can have grave consequences both in the short-term as well as the long-term for the survivor as well as the perpetrator. Possible effects for all three parties involved are mentioned below –

For the Survivor

• Bunking or dropping out of school
• Social and emotional withdrawal
• Loss of self-confidence
• Having nightmares; trouble falling asleep
• Loss of appetite
• Adverse impact on academic performance
• Loss of interest in pleasurable activities
• Anger outbursts
• Developing mental health problems such as anxiety disorders, depression or PTSD as a result of the trauma experienced in extreme cases
• Engaging in self-harm
• Increased risk of committing suicide

Dr Prerna Kohli India’s Top Psychologist Talks about Effects of Childhood Bullying

For the Perpetrator

• Difficulty forming relationships due to lack of empathy or style of relating with others
• Engaging in high-risk behaviors
• Increased risk of substance abuse and also developing an antisocial personality disorder

For the Bystander

• Increased risk of substance abuse
• Constant fear of becoming the target, therefore skipping school
• Increased risk of developing an anxiety disorder or depression

It is important to realize that a bystander makes an active choice when he/she decides not to do anything about witnessing bullying. They then are doing any one of the following three things – 1) they are either choosing to ignore the situation because it does not affect them directly, 2) they are too scared to report the matter, 3) they are actually deriving sadistic pleasure by seeing someone else suffer. Not intervening when one witnesses bullying is a way of encouraging the bully to carry on with his behavior. Whichever be the case, observing and not intervening in such situations is not only the wrong thing to do but also has harmful effects on the bystander.

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“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain!” ~Bob Marley

No matter what your emotional state is, I’m sure you must have observed that there is always some kind of music that just perfectly blends with your mood.

Various researchers too now provide a scientific backing to the positive effects of music on mental health that people claim. Not only does music help ease our pain, it has several other mental and physical health benefits as well. Read on to discover them –

• Music helps reduce the perceived intensity of pain.
• Fast and upbeat music increases your workout motivation and endurance. That is probably why a lot of gyms have music playing in them.

  

• Helps the body recover faster after a session of workout.

• Playing soft music in the background while having a meal reduces your speed of eating.

• Consequently, this reduces the amount of food you consume. This can probably be attribued to the fact that when eating slow, one is more mindful of what and how much they eat.

• It makes you feel happier by enhancing the blood flow in your vessels.

• It improves your sleep quality and helps reduce symptoms of insomnia.
• By releasing biochemicals that are meant for stress reduction, music helps you relieve your stress and also deal with symptoms of anxiety.
• Slow rhythmic music can alter brainwave patterns in a manner that produces a state similar to that while meditating.
• While heavy metal music might have an adverse effect on your depression, the right kind of music can uplift your mood and reduce symptoms of depression.
• Not only does listening to music make you more aware and in touch with your feelings, but it also promotes mood regulation.
• It helps improve your performance on cognitive tasks by increasing your ability to concentrate.
• Music helps you stay cool in high-pressure situations by decreasing your respiratory and heart rate. Thus, when stuck in traffic, or when going to play a game under a lot of pressure, turn up the music to calm yourself down.
• Music therapy is used to treat a lot of mental disorders such as Schizophrenia, Alzheimer, Dementia, Autism, Depression, Anxiety etc.

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Do you end up pushing your work to the extent that you have a pile of work to do at the last minute? Then you probably are a procrastinator.

Procrastination differs from laziness. While laziness is a passive process that suggests inactivity and unwillingness to act, procrastination is an active process that involves delaying tasks that are although important, are perceived as being difficult on unpleasant in nature. Lack of self-control and fear of being unable to accomplish the task as per one’s expectations are major reasons behind procrastinating. While we all procrastinate at some point, excessive procrastination can lead to feelings of guilt and anxiety, and worse, affect the quality of our performance.

Thus, in order to control this behavior, one can follow the below-mentioned tips

1. Make a list of all the tasks that need to be done in a day in order of their priority.

   

2. Create a daily timetable and stick to it. Assign deadlines to each task.
3. Break a big task into smaller more manageable units.
4. Organize your workspace.
5. Force yourself to do tasks that you find unpleasant or difficult. Once you accomplish these, other tasks will seem like a cake-walk to you. This will even motivate you more to work on them.
6. Think of the positive consequences of accomplishing a task and use it as an incentive to work.
7. Use visual cues (such as sticky notes) to serve as a constant reminder of pending tasks.

   

8. Reward yourself for completing your set target.
9. Work at a time and place that best suits you i.e. when your level of concentration and productivity is the highest.
10. Set realistic goals and standards of accomplishment; do not aim for perfection.
11. Rather than focusing on how long it will take to complete a task, focus on starting working on the task.
12. Take breaks at regular intervals.
13. Tell people around you about the tasks aligned ahead of you. Their repeatedly enquiring you about your status on the task will not only serve as a reminder but will also build pressure on you.
14. Identify ways in which you procrastinate and take measures to eradicate these.
15. Indulge in positive self-talk rather than blaming yourself for not having accomplished a task. Blaming oneself may lead to feelings of guilt, and consequently procrastinating the task further or giving it up altogether.

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How well you are able to grasp, retain and remember things depends on how healthy your brain is. Follow the tips given below in order to maintain and enhance the health of your brain, thereby, improving your memory.

Engage in mental as well as physical exercise

While physical exercise will help by increasing the flow of oxygen to your brain, engaging in mental workouts such as solving a Crossword Puzzle or Sudoku will simulate your brain. Make it a point to engage in activities that challenge your brain or teach you something new.

Sleep well

It is during our sleep that memory consolidation takes place i.e. the brain solidifies the connections between neurons. Thus, it becomes essential that we provide adequate rest to both our mind and body. An adult should get at least 7-8 hours of sleep on an average every day.

Balance stress

Stress is our mind and body’s worst enemy. It affects our brain by damaging brain cells. Thus, in order to manage stress, maintain a balance between your work and personal life, set realistic expectations, avoid multi-tasking, take some time-off, practice relaxation techniques and engage in social interaction.

Eat healthy

Just like your body, your brain needs nutrition and energy to function as well. Therefore, what you eat becomes very important. Eat foods rich in Omega-3, Vitamin B, Vitamin C, and antioxidants. Cut down the intake of calories and saturated fat, and consume green leafy vegetables instead.

Use mnemonic devices

Mnemonic devices are anything that helps one memorize and recall things in an easier manner. Thus, you can use acronyms, acrostics, rhymes, chunking or method of loci, to aid you in learning and remembering things.

General steps to support learning and memory

• Get organized in your approach
• Pay attention
• Make use of as many senses as possible
• Relate new information to that which you already know
• Try understanding concepts instead of just memorizing stuff
• Rehearse what you learn regularly

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It is okay to be anxious sometimes when things get out of control. A certain level of stress and anxiety actually helps us achieve our goals. But, when the anxiety and thought patterns start getting out of control it becomes difficult to manage the anxiety. Sometimes, it even leads to a panic attack, where the person starts to palpitate and feels like they are going to have a heart attack. Thus, controlling your anxiety becomes the top priority. Here is some tips to how reduce anxiety.

Hence, below are few tips for controlling your anxiety:

Accept Everything Cannot be Controlled:

Everything is not in our hand; hence we can’t control what is happening in our surrounding. It’s ok to let go sometimes. Most of the time, the things making you feel stressed aren’t actually going to happen. It is just the thought.

Don’t aim for Perfection:

One of the biggest factor adding to our stress and then leading to anxiety is perfection. We can’t always achieve perfection in everything. It is ok to be happy with what you get and what you achieve. It’s the effort which matters.

Replace Negative Thoughts:

Anxiety increases because of the negative thoughts. It is important to replace these negative thoughts with the positive ones. The best way to do this is to keep a diary with you. In this diary, you should start writing all the positive thoughts. Thus, when the negative thoughts start to come, you can look at the diary and remember the positive thoughts. Positive thoughts is very helpful to reduce anxiety.

Relaxation Exercise:

If you have constant anxiety issues, it is important that you start practising deep breathing exercise once a day. Along with deep breathing the person should also practice counting 1-10 (if necessary 20) slowly. So, when the actual anxiety will occur and you start relaxation techniques the body will automatically go to rest and calm state.

Exercise:

It is important to keep your body engaged through various exercises. One can go to the gym, or for a walk, or running or even practice yoga. This will help in keeping the mind at peace and keep the negative thoughts at bay.

Eat Healthily:

A panic attack or an anxiety attack weakens the body. It is important to eat a well maintained healthy diet to keep the energy flowing inside your body. You can also keep energy-boosting snacks with you. This way you will be able to decrease the weakness and actually be able to have positive thoughts.

Limit Alcohol:

It’s very easy to start an addictive behaviour to control your anxieties. Hence, it is important to keep away from alcohol and other substances. In reality, these substances actually increase the chances of a panic attack. Also, they start a dependency behaviour.

Get Proper Rest:

Lastly, it is important to get proper sleep and rest. Daily 8 hours of sleep is mandatory when you are stressed. Getting rest is important to replenish yourself, your mind and body.

The above tips can help you control your anxiety. But, alongside it is necessary to visit a professional also. Thus, if you or someone you know is suffering from anxiety or panic attacks, please visit a mental health professional immediately.

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