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Depersonalization is a very uncommon disorder which happens to a very few people. Hence, many psychologists don’t understand or even know about this disorder. It becomes a very difficult experience for the person because the connection with reality becomes distorted. The person feels detached from the surroundings and the self, and it becomes a harrowing experience.

What Is Depersonalization Disorder?

Depersonalization disorder is a dissociative disorder. Firstly, dissociative, the word itself means detachment. Hence, it is a disorder which suffices on detachment. Even though this disorder lies on the lower end of the spectrum of dissociative disorders, it is still a very serious condition. Depersonalization consists of two parts; first dissociative identity disorder, and second dissociative amnesia.

Dissociative identity disorder, also famously known as, multiple personality disorder. In this, a person starts to show different types of personalities. One of the best examples is seen in the movies, “Bhool-Bhulaiya”, “Aparichit”. Also, the person isn’t aware of the other personalities present within them. Which makes it difficult to treat.

Dissociative amnesia is a condition where there is a mental gap. By mental gap, it means that for certain periods the person forgets their identity. Also, the person can even forget what happened within a period in the day or else start experiencing blackouts.

Thus, below are some symptoms of this disorder:

• Feeling of being Un-real: There is a persistent feeling in the person that nothing is real. Even their self-identity and the world around them is not real. Also, the places and friends, who used to be familiar starts to feel like “fake”.
• No Connection with Others: The person starts feeling detached from the loved ones. There is a constant feeling that the person you loved, or who loves you are unfamiliar. The person does remember them but doesn’t feel any connection with them. The person feels detached.
• Increased levels of Anxiety: If earlier the person used to feel anxious at a very low level, the intensity of the anxiety increases ten folds. Even the smallest of the situations starts feeling overwhelming. The person is gripped by constant fear.
• Suicidal Thoughts: There becomes an increase in the suicidal thoughts. The person starts wondering whether even the life is real or not. There is a constant disconnect between reality. Thus, death seems a close connection. Hence, there is an increase in suicidal thoughts.
• Can’t Focus: Due to overwhelming thoughts and worries, the person couldn’t focus. The work which seemed a lot easy, because very difficult. The person couldn’t even focus on a sentence and there is no recollection power.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Depersonalization disorder is a very serious condition. The best step to address the issue is to visit a professional immediately. Many forms of psychotherapy, like psychodynamic, cognitive behavioural has proven to cure this illness.

Hence, when addressed in time, it can be cured. So, please visit a professional if you think you are showing these problems.

To Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli

Grieving over a loss becomes the expression of the self. It presents the way a person pays respect to the lost “object”. Grieving over the loss object becomes very important and essential. But, the way someone grieves varies. It depends on the relationship with the person or object, on the physical health of the person and even the mental health.

How Does Grief Affect?

The reaction towards grief is different for every individual. Anxiety and helplessness often accompany in periods of grief. Sometimes, there are bursts of emotions and anger. Anger might come from the fact of the loss itself. Being left alone, becomes a lonely and frustrating affair. Then sadness follows, but it comes at a later period.

Knowing that these feelings are normal is very important. It helps in the grieving process in itself. Thus, it gives a hope that everything will turn out well. Also, it is also very important that you know these feelings will pass away.

Although, it’s a long process it varies from person to person. For some, it takes few weeks for others it might take a year or more. Thus, some people also need therapy or counseling to cope up with grief. But, eventually, it will go away. So, the hope to recover, helps you to cope with it.

How to cope with grief?

Firstly, it is important to know that there are no quick fixes. It will take its time depending on the relationship between the person or the object. But, after the period passes away it is less likely to be at the forefront of your mind.

Below are some ways which can help you in times of loss:

1. Express: Talking about the loss helps in coping up with it. It soothes the pain and helps in the healing process. A good friend, a therapist, a family member or a counselor can help you begin the process.
2. Feeling Sad: It is a normal process to feel sad. You should allow yourself to feel sad. It helps you express the turmoil you are feeling. It is also a healthy part of grieving.
3. Routine: Keeping up with the routine is very important. It helps you process and keeps you functional. Simple things like, walking the dog or eating your favorite meal help in the process of being functional.

   

4. Sleep: An emotional problem always effects your sleep. Sleeping recharges your emotional strength. If you have trouble sleeping then please see a professional.
5. Eat Healthily: A healthy well-maintained diet helps you cope up. A good physical health helps in keeping a healthy emotional health.
6. Avoid the thing which “Numb”: It is important that you avoid things which “numb” the pain. Alcohol and other substances will help you numb the pain momentarily. Once the effect wears off, the pain will be increased. Also, it can start a vicious cycle of addiction, which will lead to other problems.

When to get help?

Going to counseling straight away might not be a good option. But, if the sadness persists over a couple of months it is advised to get help. You will know when you want counseling or professional help. If the following persists you for over two months then it is best to get help.

1. You are not able to cope up with the emotions and unable to function daily routines.
2. The extreme emotions are not going away.
3. Loss of sleep.

   

4. You start showing symptoms of depression or anxiety.
5. Your other relationships are being affected.
6. Facing sexual problems.
7. Taking care of someone who is not able to cope up well.
8. Having a lot of accidents, or becoming accident-prone.

In conclusion, grief feels like a very difficult and lonely process. But, the ray of hope leads to a better environment. It is necessary that you do not isolate yourself. It is very important to be around friends or loved ones in such periods. You can always consult a professional, or a counselor to help you cope with grief.

If you need Psychologist  click here

Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli

Ageing smarter

Since long, it was often believed that our sharpness decreases as we age. This couldn’t be more further from truth. Recent research and advances in brain sciences suggest that we can keep growing our neurons even into our 90s through ‘neuro-genesis’ especially in that part of the brain which is associated with memory – the hippocampus. So, it’s about to do away with the old adage of ‘slow-down and decline’ and replace with the fresh mantra – ‘Age smarter, age intelligent’.

While it is certainly true that modern lifestyle, like exposure to toxins, chemicals, poor diet, stress, poor sleep, play a significant role in cognitive decline, the flipside is also true that a healthy lifestyle encourages your brain to get better as you age. What’s more interesting about this? It’s almost free. We know we’ve got your attention. Go on and read the following tips that aid you in ‘age smarter’:

Lifestyle changes:

1. Replace multitasking with mindfulness: Focus is a thing. We simply cannot manage to do multiple things at the same time. It leads to cognitive errors and poor decision-making and even fatigue. The opposite is mindfulness where you complete one task efficiently and quickly move to the next.
2. Organize your space: Whether it be your office space or home, it is important to de-clutter and get organized. Some sort of a stable structure adds to your happiness quotient and helps your memory at the same time.
3. Exercise, sleep and eat: This has been repeated enough number of times in enough number of places through enough number of channels. But, we still are failing to make this happen! After all, what is the race for? Isn’t it well-being to start with? If so, is it not necessary that we take a step back and treat our body right?
4. Increase your happiness quotient: Reduce stress. Laugh more often. Take care of your mood and emotions. Have a healthy release of feelings when necessary. Increase the number of uplifting activities and reduce/manage the daily life’s hassles well.

Tricks and tools for memory:

1. Repeat aloud those things you want to remember.
2. Take a deep breath when you are adding something important to your memory
3. Picture a person with their name written on forehead to remember names
4. Quit believing that you have a bad memory. Start convincing yourself that you just have to improve your skill to use it.
5. Feed the brain with puzzles, word games, brain teasers. You will find a lot of them for free online.
6. Pay attention while forming a memory. Attention is the key to success, not just with memory, but, with anything you want to do in life. Lessen the number of distractions.
7. Improve your observation skills by watching a picture and then get to write what you feel about it (the colors, the texture etc.). This process gives you a better memory of faces and names.
8. Extend the memorizing process to various parts of the brain by including more senses. Ex: Read out a piece of information you just wrote. That will work your hearing sense along with touch and vision senses (used while typing).

There is a lot more than that you can do but the aforementioned activities are a good place to get started in your mission to ‘age smarter’. We wish you all the best!-Dr Prerna kohli

Protecting Your Brain As You Age

The most dreaded consequence of aging is mental slow-down and this is becoming more and more common-place. It starts with the occasional ‘slip’ in memory all the way through to affecting your speed, perception, reasoning and eventually the size of the brain as we go well into the 70s and 80s.

However, there’s good news. You are in control and this is totally avoidable. You can be as sharp as when you were in your 20s all through your life if that be your choice. We are sure we got all your attention. So, let’s look at the steps on how you can help yourself achieve this:

Control is yours:

It is very important to believe that you have total control over this so-called aging process. That belief helps you seek out activities to make it a reality. Alternatively, believing that you have less control or no control at all creates anxiety and thus negatively affects your performance, thus turning it into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Stimulate:

Neural-plasticity is a thing of truth. You can actually grow your brain provided you keep challenging it. Take on those quizzes, puzzles and mentally stimulating or creative activities like painting, arts, craft or formulating and using new strategies at work. Brains are like any tool, it seems. You sharpen and use: It remains brilliant. You don’t use it: It rusts.

Sweat it out:

Exercise increases the number and strength of blood cells that bring oxygen to the brain and also improve the number of nerve cells and the quality of synapses between them. It also lowers blood pressure, improves cholesterol levels, fights diabetes, and reduces mental stress, all of which can help your brain as well as your heart.

Diet:

This forms one other important component in the recipe to brain health. Eat right kind of nutritional. Avoid heavy calorie and low nutritional quality foods like fast-foods and unhealthy snacks. Go for whole meals and focus on the B vitamins (folic acid, B6, B12). These are proven to be effective means of avoiding the risk of Alzheimer’s and dementia. Fortified cereals and green leafy vegetables are good sources of these vitamins.

BP, Sugar, and Cholesterol:

Keep a check on all the three and keep them in healthy balance so as to not go too low or shoot up too high. All the three are proven risk factors for brain-related diseases. and consult with psychologist

Substance-abuse:

Alcohol, tobacco, and drugs must be avoided at all costs if you are starting to see signs of ‘slow-down’. If however, you cannot stop it altogether, it makes sense to bring it under healthy control like 1 standard drink per day etc.

Socialize:

Keep building and renewing and reconnecting with your social connections. No matter what your age, even if children left you etc., you still have space in the world of social connections. Find your tribe and live a life of fun and fulfillment.

Mental health and relaxation:

Proper mental and emotional balance and a body that is well-rested go a long way in avoiding the risk of declining brain functions. Moods and emotions quite literally narrate the quality of our life today and far into the future.

Wear the helmet:

Yes. You read it right. In all cases where you are at risk, protect your head from accidents. Ex: Construction sites, roads etc. Head injuries accelerate the chance for age-related brain disorders so it’s best to be cautious.

Shining Bright in Life

Life can get pretty rough at times. We all share that predicament. Hence, there will be days of despair, hopelessness, failure, and loss of sense of purpose. So, amidst all this chaos, life still offers a great chance to rise and shine to our full glory. It depends on the choices we make and the attitude we hold towards life.

Below are a few ways to accomplish the same that we have identified and hope they help you:

• Believe in the magic of life: During our childhood, we always believed in miracles and that we can magic our way to all our fantasies. Hence, everything around us felt like magic like birds flying in the sky and trains running on the tracks. Tap into such knowing that magic exists for you too and you’ll surely start experiencing it.
• In the moment:

  

  We miss the magic of the present moment while we’re busy regretting the past or worrying about the future. Let’s stop for a second and savor the joy of being in the moment.

• Immerse in love: Make it a part of all of your relationships. Give it. Receive it. Share it.
• Own your originality: You are the most unique you that we can have. Your vision, your ideas, your talents, your beliefs, your way of doing things are your originality. You flow in life when you live it.
• An attitude of gratitude: Gratitude opens up rich feelings, incredible experiences and amazing opportunities for you. Make ‘thank you’ a part of your life.
• Bring out the inner-child: Ask questions, be adventurous, be unapologetically you and explore the world around you like a child, if you will.
• Have fun: All said and done, make sure to take some time for play. Structure your day to allow you some moments of pure fun and laughter.
• Proximity is power: Find your tribe that you sync with and get lost in magical experiences with them. Share your ideas, thoughts and emotions and find the high ground of appreciation and enhancement.
• Dream and plan: Dream the dreams, make the plans and live them in reality. Don’t deny yourself your authentic aspirations.
• Expect the best: One can never become more than what they expect out of themselves. Expect the best and shed the fear of unknown.

• Be the light: Don’t wait for a source of light and start being the light for ones less fortunate than yourself. The more you give, the more you get.
• Be prepared for the worst:

  

  Despite all efforts, sometimes, things go awry and out of hand. That exact moment is not the time for despair, but for sincere reflections on the reasons for failure and knowing that it is for your own good even if you may not be able to decipher the reason just yet!

Blue Whale is an internet game which is claiming lives

Most of us heard about it already. For the uninitiated, Blue Whale is an internet game which is claiming lives of vulnerable teenagers. It is a task-list comprising 50 tasks spread over 50 days. Each task is aimed at desensitizing a person for pain and scare and build-up the person’s psyche to the level where they are ready for the final step: Suicide.

Blue Whale challenge is not the first among such games. There have been plenty before like The Pass Out Challenge, The Salt and Ice Challenge, The Fire Challenge and The Cutting Challenge. Each of them involves self-harm ranging up to suicide and creating documented proofs like filming or photographs and sharing them online without any consideration for the explicit nature of the content and yes, of course, general intelligence.

That makes us want to question! Why teenagers, specifically? Why such games? What’s the pleasure in pain? Why is suicide happening? What role is internet playing? How can we avoid such mishaps? Let us explore such questions in detail below.

Understanding teenagers:

Teenage is a vulnerable age where they are no more kids and not yet adults. It is also the time of puberty and in general a very confusing age with a bout of uncontrollable emotions and excess hormonal play in the body. Couple that peer group identification and pressures, lack of clarity, defined goals and purpose, lack of a sense of identity and at that same time being an important age for educational goals. We hope you’re overflowing with empathy for them by now.

Now, those teenagers who are facing tough times with so much of change and finding it hard to cope with their social life, education etc., are at a loss of confidence and self-esteem and undergo other psychological issues. When such a thing happens, there is a void within them and they seek to fill this void in different ways for ex., drugs, bad companionship and games like the blue whale challenge because that gives them a sense of belonging and a sense of accomplishment. “I have done such a scary and hard thing. I am courageous and a brave Hero.” This is the kind of dialogue that runs in their head-space when they participate in such games. Some of the steps are also designed to give them the much-coveted adrenaline and dopamine rush which gives a momentary high feeling. What’s even more worrisome is when they are afraid and want to quit the game, the ‘curators’ of the game deliver them verbal life-threats and warn them that they are tracked. For adults, it is easier to comprehend that it’s stupid but teenagers are vulnerable and might fall into the trap.

How to help?

Conversations and quality time spent. Yes, that’s the only thing necessary to make sure they don’t fall into such traps. How approachable parents are is also a factor! Don’t raise them so strictly that they are afraid to share anything with you. Assume the role of a friendly guide whom they would want to open up with. Best yet, if you are a parent or a teacher, spot the vulnerable kids. Don’t wait for them to open up. Share your own teenage stories and general life-struggles and ask them how they are feeling about themselves. That creates an emotionally safe space for them to open-up and share their struggles. Once that is done, either you may manage to help them or if there is a deep psychological issue, you may immediately seek the help of a Psychologist.

Remember: We have to treat them with respect and child-like care, both together because quite literally they are between being adults and being kids.

Life has a lot to offer.

We sure agree that there are task-lists to get done, meetings to attend and exams to clear. But, amidst all this, life still manages to give us a lot of reasons and little things to celebrate. Not sure what they are? We’ve made a big list for you here:

Awesome Tips

• Taking a walk in the rain
• Smell of fresh-baked cookies
• The ability to give and receive love from your friends and family
• Hugging your kids
• Cuddling your partner
• Spending time in worthy causes
• The favorite desserts. Whoever wants to miss an ice-cream?
• The excitement when a flight takes off from the land
• Cold beer and a cricket game?
• Creating something useful to share with the world
• Reading books that along with, what? Cup of coffee, of course.
• Gazing stars under clear skies
• Encouraging your loved ones going through tough times
• Sleeping on a comfy bed. We’re sure you don’t want to miss this!
• Morning walk under the gentle sunshine
• The drive to win despite hardships
• Being grateful for what we have before thinking about what we don’t
• Playing with pets. Oh gosh! Their excitement and enthusiasm!
• Knowing that we are not alone and we can share
• We take it for granted but pay attention and you’ll see how it’s very enjoyable.
• The near and dear who never give up on us.
• Creativity all around the place
• Mind-numbing music that makes you go… whoa!
• Because good times always follow bad-times
• Humour and ridiculously funny comedy

….some More Awesome Tips for you

• Unexpected surprises
• That you can always begin
• Diversity (We know you’re thinking about different cuisines!)
• Trying new things
• The way how right things happen at just the right moment for right reasons
• Second chances
• When kids say, “Daddy/Mommy! I love you.”
• Free-will and freedom
• Seeing what you planted spurt out and grow into a giant
• Doesn’t make sense to be in awe for it?
• There are many paths to success, fulfilment, joy, and happiness
• Good food and good drinks. Enough said!
• Hearty laughter
• The fact that it’s all temporary. Nothing is permanent. You can always change it.
• Discounts and steal deals
• All free things. Pure air, fresh water, parents’ love, friends’ affection, partner’s attachment.
• Moments of enlightenment and realization.
• Enjoying silent times.
• Last but not least, all of you who are reading this list. We celebrate you all.

Is there anything else important we missed? Please let us know in the comments section. We’re excited to know your valuable perspectives on this matter.

Life is to be Live!

Strife and distress are not exclusive to places like Syria or North Korea. We face them every day in our regular lives due to various factors. Sometimes the enormity of pain and suffering that is happening world-over, could make us feel overwhelmed.

Before comparing ourselves with people who have it all, it is equally important to look at the lives of those less fortunate. This acts as a reminder for us to be grateful for all that we have and increases our appreciation towards life.

The fact is that in the bigger scheme of things, the time we play around on this planet is very minuscule and if we spend such short span in worry and negativity, we’ll never truly appreciate the miracle that life is!

Here are some of the reasons why life is so precious and after looking at them, you will definitely agree that it makes sense to look at the positives of life rather than just the negatives.

We move towards what we focus on:

.When you look at life as just a bag of struggles, we manifest more of that in our lives. Instead, if you look at life as a precious gift, your whole outlook and attitude changes and all the worries seem to shrink in their size.

Every failure has a reason:

Failures are designed to teach us the right lessons at just the right time that we need them. They are not punishments but agents of enlightenment. Instead of letting failures take us down, we should rise up and be more inspired to get better.

Pain is gain

Pain is an agent of awareness. It enriches mind over time. We grow and learn through pain. Use pain for your gain instead of letting it rain hailstorms on you.

Savour life

If we look at the whole of the Universe, the chance of you being a human on earth is one-in-a-zillion. Savour and celebrate every moment. Let it not be wasted.

Gratitude fuels hope

We understand that it is tough to feel full of hope when everything around you is shattered into a million pieces. But, when we’re grateful, we move out of fear into a state of love and security. These new positive emotions fuel hope.

Live it to the fullest

Life is too short to hold on to grudges and unpleasant emotions. Release them. Have forgiveness conversations. Live it to the full intensity that you deserve to enjoy.

Comparison kills uniqueness

Your life is unique. Your journey is valuable. You matter in this world and yes, of course, we need you. Quit comparing yourself with others because everyone is on their own timeline and no two journeys are comparable.

Share it

In grief, in loss, through the thick and thins, your friends and family are there for you to share your pain with. No problem is too big. Don’t sweat the small stuff and remember that it’s all small stuff.

Mental Health Concern – Whom to See

When you have mental health concerns and problems dealing with everyday life, you want to seek help. After that, what follows generally for most people is confusion on whether they should see a Psychologist or a Psychiatrist. There are similarities and important differences too. Let us look at them now to clear your confusion.

Points of similarity:

1. Both work on mental health issues of the client
2. Both are there to help you with your problems and provide you with means to handle your everyday issues more productively

Points of differences:

Education:

Psychologists pursue a degree in the area of psychology, that is, the study of the mind and human behavior. Typically they have Ph.D. in Psychology or a degree in clinical or counseling psychology. Also, they are also well-versed with administering psychometric tests. Ex: IQ tests

Psychiatrists are medical doctors who graduate from medical school and they study the physical brain, its chemical composition, makeup and its relationship with human behavior.

Approach:

Psychologists look more closely at behavioral problems and deliver “talk therapy”. Thus, they track sleep patterns, eating patterns, negative thoughts or limiting beliefs that might be causing or contributing to the problem. Also, they conduct various kind of behavioral and mood therapies based on the particular needs of their clients.
On the other hand, psychiatrists are strongly oriented towards biology and neurochemistry. Hence, they check for other underlying problems like vitamin deficiencies and thyroid problems before diagnosing depression. They prescribe medication after their diagnosis.

Areas of help:

Psychologists are into various areas like marriage counseling, school counseling, developmental counseling, career counseling, counseling for an illness like stress, anxiety, depression etc.

Psychiatrists can be of major help in situations where physical symptoms reach their extreme like in the cases of major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia.

Where to start?

When you find yourself in troubled situations, it is better to start with a Psychologist as you don’t have to intake medicines, which generally have side-effects and some being addictive. Unless there is a major psychological problem rooted in brain chemistry rather than in behaviour, a good Psychologist should be able to help you out of your problem.

If that doesn’t help, the next best step is to seek Psychiatric help and use medication as a means of treatment in tandem with counselling support from a Psychologist. So, in advanced cases, medication along with talk therapy is the most advantageous as it settles the brain chemistry along with behavioural problems leading to lasting results.

To learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli 

All images courtsey Pixabay

Every Relationship has problems

Relationships help us live some of our most beautiful memories and at the same time, we often end up taking them for granted. As the saying goes, it takes losing something to realize its worth and importance. This is the unfortunate reality for many people living through fruitless relationships and most of them calling it an end resulting in unpleasant experiences.

In that context, being aware of problems that pop-up in a relationship and knowing how to tackle them could be a great value-add. It helps to remember that problems in a relationship are as common as pests in a crop. The problems in your relationship could be unique to your own situation but broadly, most problems fall into these categories:

Communication:

There is always that initial excitement and eventual boredom in conversations. It helps to keep up the spark of exploration and sharing interesting pursuits with each other. One also generally assumes that they know the other person but we are always evolving in our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Hence, it is important to keep listening. 

Trust:

Do you trust your partner’s opinions? Are you confident about their discernment when it comes to making big decisions? Also, are you confident about their ability to care for you in your vulnerable moments? Are you comfortable with them hanging out with their friends? Insecurity is a big deal-breaker and a vicious cycle to put up with. Instead, share your feelings with your partner and gain their assurance to feel light.

Jealousy:

Jealousy about one’s partner making better progress or getting more attention is not helpful. They are your better half and you have a definite part in their accomplishments. So, it makes sense to celebrate each other’s wins instead of comparing yourself with them.

Incompatibility:

It is better to figure out incompatibilities in the courting phase and walk your own paths instead of living with frustrations. If it’s too late for that, compromises may be made on all things barring core values by either party.

Sex drive: 

The excitement of the first few years wears off and it starts feeling like a chore and that’s exactly when you need to reignite it by trying different things and going to new places. Achieving things together also sparks the winning feeling and thus better sex.

Money:

It is important to realize that earning more often doesn’t solve the problem. Being smart about using what you have and creating small new ways of improving your cash-flows keeps both of you creative and happy. A comparison is better kept at bay.

Time: 

Yes. We live in a time poor world. We are more occupied than ever. Just when you feel that you don’t have any time for your partner is the exact moment when you should take out an hour or two for regular ice-cream dates or for indulging in hobbies together.

Individual space:

Spending time away from each other is as important as spending time together. It contributes for new experiences and growth better suited to individual tastes.