BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
Stress Free Exams
Here are a few simple guidelines for having Stress Free Exams. To manage exam stress the student should do the following:
Have a regular exercise regime, (pre-exams in not the time to spend hours and hours in the gym) the regime should be brief and not very strenuous, a good idea is to do 20-30 minutes of stretching exercises, push-ups, sit-ups, planks etc
Set aside time to relax, i.e. watch TV, Facebook, etc., give yourself targets, once I have studied Maths for 90 minutes, I will Facebook for 10 minutes. The relaxation should be about 10% of the time. So if you study for 3 hours at a stretch, take 15-20 minutes break.
Sleep well, don’t shortchange your body on the sleep you require, during the exam period 6-7 hours of sleep is mandatory
Eat, and eat healthy, a pizza is not a bad reward, but your diet should consist of nutritious and healthy food
Avoid comparing yourself to your friends, specially the number of hours he/she is studying
Quit habits that come in the way of concentrating on your studies, this is not the time to indulge yourself
Don’t do any exam post-mortem, analyzing how you did on the exam is not going to fix anything
Something that both the parent and student need to remember is that these exams or their results do not define who the student is as a human being. The exams are only for a brief period and will come and go away soon enough. American Basketball player Kobe Bryant said “Everything negative – pressure, challenges – is all an opportunity for me to rise.”
I agree with motivational speaker Ben Caron, that no matter how good you are at planning (or preparing for examinations), the pressure (to excel in the exams) never goes away. So one should not fight the pressure, instead, feed off this pressure and turn the pressure into motivation to do your best.
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India with over 20 years of experience and has been providing families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
Stress During Exams Season
As a parent of a school going child, there will be Stress During Exams Season. Either your child will be stress or you the parent will be stressed. This article is focused on the stress on the student and how the parents and the school can handle it.
The period of examinations is generally extremely stressful for everyone in the family. The child may want to avoid his or her exams. They also may want to avoid studying and revising for approaching exams. They procrastinate by daydreaming, watching TV, or wasting time on social media. As a parent you are worried about their education, as your belief is that if they excel in school and perform well in their education, they will have a larger number of opportunities in life and a choice of best colleges to attend. Your concerns are valid and legitimate.
Your concerns about your child’s future are valid about how they perform in their board exams, or other class exams. Yet you need to step back and appreciate how worrisome and intimidating it is for the child. Not only is preparing, and sitting for the exams a difficult task, the post examination period is even more worrisome. The number of children who start to suffer from post examination syndrome is astounding.
You as a parent have to be strong, and help your school going child through this trying time. You need to listen to them, and understand their fears and provide sufficient encouragement and distraction for them. Given below are my tips on making the examination time less stressful.
Pre-examination tips:
A relaxed and comfortable place to studyIf you don’t have a quite spot in your house, see if they can study as a neighbor or friends house
As a parent, understand that some children learn better with background “sound”. If they are listening to music or TV in the background for “white noise” it may be the best thing for them
Be flexible with the families schedule, to accommodate the your student
Connect with the teachers at school, to see if they have any tips to help your child perform better in the upcoming exams
This is a time to have a flexible timetable for your child, on when to bathe, eat, exercise etc. Remember exercise is very important
Let your child know that it is never too late to start to prepare for the exams or too seek help from teachers, tutors and friends
Don’t bribe your child to study, teach them to study and perform well for their own satisfaction and success
Planning a dinner, a movie or any other small distraction such as visit to a friend’s or relative’s house is a good diversion
As a parent, you need to keep calm and remain positive, your child will pick up your vibes and if you are stressed, this will add to their stress
There is always another chance in life, many times children get so stress that they take irreversible steps, you don’t want your child to take any steps that they or you may regret.
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India with over 20 years of experience and has been providing families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
Blame Game – Social Media During Exams – Students!
Students and young adults spend significant number of hours on their smart-phones to access social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and Youtube etc, but to blame social media for poor performance in examinations or wasting time when the student should be studying is incorrect.
What it real boils down to is self discipline; some students waste their time in watching TV, listening to music, reading books and magazines, gossiping or just simply day dreaming. What bothers parents with the smart phone is that small and handy device and that the student can in incognito access the internet on the phone when they should be studying.
Both the student and the parent should encourage self restraint when they are studying for exams, the parent should not have to monitor the student constantly. The student needs to be given guidance on how much time they should be spending on social media, so that it doesn’t interfere with their studies.
As a clinical psychologist with over 20 years of experience my research and experience as a de-addiction specialist has led me to the following guidelines regarding social media:
During normal school and college days one should not exceed 45 minutes of social media everyday
During exam preparation, one should not spend more than 15-30 minutes per day on social media. This includes all platforms such as Facebook, Youtube, Instagram etc.
The student should know how to “reward” themselves with access to social media when they have completed chapter, subject, etc.
Accessing useful information on the internet to learn and prepare for exams should not be mistaken for wasting time on social media by the parents.
Exceeding these guidelines leads to social media addiction, which is no different from other forms of addiction.
Research shows that the attention span of normal students is of 50 minutes. Hence my advice is that after every 45-50 minutes of studying take a break of 10-15 minutes. In which you can do a relaxing activity such as stretching exercises, yoga, meditation, reading a book etc. Don’t relax by going to Facebook. My advice to students who are studying for exams regarding social media is as follows:
Remove the “Facebook” app from your phone. So every time you need to check Facebook from your phone, you need to open the browser and log in. Reinstall the app after your exams are over
Restrict yourself to 15-30 minutes of Facebook every day, and only go to Facebook when you need to reward yourself for a set of activities completed. If you target is to study 8 hours in a day, then only go to Facebook, once you have completed those 8 hours of study.
De-activate Facebook during this period
Install getcoldturkey.com on your device, this will limit the time you can access Facebook
If you feel that you don’t have self control when it comes to Facebook and other social media, hand over you phone to someone else for the period that you are studying
As a student you need to understand that by wasting your crucial pre-exam time of social media, and by not preparing for the exams, you are only cheating yourself, and nobody else. You can pick up your social media friendships from where you left off after you are done with your exams.
More about Dr. Prerna Kohli
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India with over 20 years of experience and has been providing families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
De-stressing Exam Day
With exams around the corner, students are wondering on how to reduce their examination day stress. Here are a few pointers for those students who are looking to lessen their stress. We all see lots of students studying and revising immediately prior to the exam, as if they can memorize the entire course in a few minutes, this is a waste of energy and will add to your stress. It is a common sight to see students pacing outside the examination center with notes in their hands trying to overload their brain. This last moment stress will only make you forget what you already know.
A few steps that I feel help for de-stressing exam day:
Stop studying a couple of hours before the exam.
Take a few deep breaths and relax your body and mind whenever you feel tension creeping in.
Learn a quick meditation of 5-10 minutes and practice that while waiting to enter the examination hall
Avoid friends who cause tension or are trying to scare you pull down your confidence. Do not discussing exam topics prior to entering the examination hall, because if you haven’t studied the topic, at the last moment this will cause additional nervousness
Listen to smoothing and relaxing music on your headphones, or watch funny videos on your phone
Have an exam morning ritual, such as eat a high protein diet (curd + rice + sugar is said to help). Visit a place of worship, if you are religious.
Take several deep breaths to calm yourself while the exam sheets are being distributed. This is not a time to raise your anxiety levels.
Remember as you enter the hall, this is just an exam, and it doesn’t determine who you are as a person. If you are nervous that you haven’t studied enough, take this as a lesson of life to study more before the next exams.
Relax and do the exam to the best of your ability.
More about Dr. Kohli
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India with over 20 years of experience and has been providing families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
Some Qualities For Your Ideal Marriage Partner
To the single person, the life of a married couple seems ideal. The married person always has a companion, someone to love and be loved by at all times. On the other hand, if you ask a married person they will tell you that married life is not a bed of roses, and there are many ups and downs and compromises in a marriage. Those of you, who have found an ideal mate are extremely fortunate and lucky, and their life will most likely be bliss.
Those who haven’t found a mate that is compatible with them will have a life full of challenges and stress, and the marriage can even end in divorce. Divorce in itself is extremely stressful, mentally, physically and also financial draining. While there is no sure shot way of identifying an ideal mate, given below are 5 pointers that will help you decide if the person you are considering to marry is right for you. This list is applicable to both men and women.
How does this person make you feel?
When you are with this person which emotions are evoked in you? Is it happiness, stress, joy, sadness, confusion? Do you enjoy the time you spend with this person? If the feelings aren’t positive, and happy, you may be heading towards a danger zone.
Do both of you have similar life goals?
Are your goals similar, do both of you want children, what do you think about success, finances, how much do you care about the size of the house, the number of cars and the job title.
Do both of you share similar beliefs?
Are your religious beliefs the same? Cross religion marriages cause stress, if one of you is an atheist, and the other one is deeply religious this can lead to turmoil in the family. Do you share the same beliefs on food (vegetarian vs non-vegetarian), alcohol, drugs etc?
Would this person get along with your friends and family?
Would this person gel well with you immediate family? Will your parents accept him or her as another child? Will your siblings enjoy his or her company? What about your friends?
Are you physically attracted to him or her?
Is there physical attraction towards this person? Do you like their smile, the twinkle in their eyes? Does the aesthetics of their face, body structure appeal to you?
In conclusion, if you find that you are incompatible with the person, it is best to end the relationship sooner than later. It is not sensible to invest time and emotions in a relationship which may not have a long term viability. Eventually it is your life, and you are the person who will spend the next several decades with this person. Choose wisely.
More about Dr. Prerna Kohli
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
Teens Sex Education
If you have waited till your child is a teenager to discuss sex and sex education with them, it is most probably too late. Sex education for your child should have started when they were toddlers, and reinforced while they were preteens. Starting to educate your child about sex when they are between the ages of 13-19 is late. The work cut out for you will be much tougher. But all is not lost. It is better to start late than never.
Having delayed the discussion about sex with your child for so many years, you will notice that their knowledge and awareness of sex is something that they have picked up from peers, porn or other unreliable sources, and it will take time and effort to clear any distorted point of view that they may have.
Here a few tips:
Seize the moment: If there is a advertisement on television for condoms, or a television or movie show that is about relationships, this is an opportune way of starting the discussion.
Be honest: If you are uncomfortable discussing issues, please be honest about it and tell them that it is important to have an open channel of communications
Be direct: Discuss your opinion about oral sex or intercourse, and share your and your families moral values on the subject
Listen to their point of view: This is not a time to lecture or enforce your points on them, but to listen to their points of view and also their challenges and concerns
Move beyond the facts: It is important to discuss about the emotions, values, feels and relationships and not just about the physicality of sex
Leave the door open for future discussions: Let your child know that they can reach out to you any time it them want to discuss anything with you
A few of the questions you may be asked are:
What if my boyfriend / girlfriend is pressurizing me for sex? Explain to them that sex should never be out of fear, obligation or a tool to hold on to someone. Forced sex even with a boyfriend/girlfriend is rape. Also drugs and alcohol reduce the ability to make sane decisions. Thus, decisions about sex should not be made while either consuming drugs or alcohol.
Am I gay? Explain to them as they mature to be attract to the same sex is not classified as being a homosexual. These feelings evolve as one matures, and they will determine the sexuality with time.
When will I be ready for sex? There is no shame in delaying sex. While there may be a lot of peer pressure to partake in sex there is no need to rush into it.
Remember, as a parent, it is important to educate your child to stay away from risky behaviors regarding drugs, alcohol and other intoxicants, and to imbibe you and your family’s values about sex with them. The channel of communication between you and your teenager must always be open and secure.
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
आवश्यक है हर माता-पिता का अपने बच्चों से यह बातें कहना
बच्चों की परवरिश आसान कार्य नही है,और कुछ ऐसी बातें हैं जो हर बच्चे का अपने बचपन में सुनना अनिवार्य है. दुर्भाग्या से ,अच्छी परवरिश पे कोई गाइडबुक उपलब्ध नही है. कई माता-पिता के लिए तो यह ‘ कार्य दौरान प्राप्त ज्ञान’ का अनुभव हो जाता है. अधिकतर माता –पिता यह सुनिश्चित करते हैं कि वो उन ग़लतियों को ना दोहरायें ,जो उनके माता-पिता से उनकी परवरिश में हुई थी,पर दुर्भाग्यवश उन्ही ढाँचों में फिसल जाते हैं!
परवरिश का एक सबसे महत्त्वपूण पहलू होता है अपने शिशु से निसंकोच बातचीत. नीचे दिए गये ऐसे 7 वाक्य हैं जो हर माता-पिता का अपने बच्चों को कहना ज़रूरी है-
1. हम तुम्हें बहुत प्यार करते हैं: माता-पिता होने के नाते आपका बच्चे के मन में ये सुदृढ़ करना अत्यावश्यक है कि आप उनसे अनियमित प्रेम करते हैं और हमेशा उनके लिए खड़े हैं.
२. हमे तुमपे गर्व है: आपके बच्चे को पता एवं विश्वास होना चाहिए की आपको उसपे एवं उसकी उपलब्धियों पे बहुत गर्व है. हर बालक भिन्न है, हर बालक विशिष्ट है, अपने शिशु के प्रति अपने गौरव को ज़रुर अभिव्यक्त करें.
३. हम क्षमा चाहते हैं: अपने बच्चे से क्षमा माँगने में कभी संकोच ना करें. कई परिस्थितियों में आप कोई विशेष दिवस,या जन्मदिन या स्कूल का कोई कार्यक्रम भूल गये होंगे ,या आपसे कोई और चूक हुई होगी.ऐसे में अपने बच्चे से क्षमा माँगने में कोई शर्मिंदगी महसूस नही करें.
४. हमने तुम्हे माफ़ किया: बच्चे छोटी और बड़ी -दोनो तरह की ग़लतियाँ करते हैं. दरअसल ,गलती हर इंसान से होती है. जब आपका बच्चा ग़लती करता है तो उसे माफ़ करें. इस प्रकार अपने बच्चे के साथ अपना रिश्ता और मज़बूत करते हुए आगे बढ़ें.
५. हम तुम्हारी बात सुन रहे हैं: सुन ना एक कला है,और अपने बच्चे की बातें सुनना अत्यावश्यक है.उनकी कहानियाँ,उनकी अभिलाषाएँ ,उनके सपने – अपने फोन और लॅपटॉप को बंद करें और ये सब चाव से सुनें.
६.ये तुम्हारी ज़िम्मेदारी है: अपने बच्चों को ज़िम्मेदारी दें, ज़िम्मेदार आदमी बनने में उनकी मदद करें. याद रखें ये अनुभूति उन्हे आपसे ही आएगी. इसलिए उन्हे उपयुक्त ज़िम्मेदारियाँ दें.
७. तुम में कुछ कर दिखाने वाली बात है: अपने बच्चे को निरंतर यह एहसास दिलाते रहें की उनमें वो सब करने की पूरी क्षमता है, जो वो करना चाहते हैं. वो कुछ भी पा सकते हैं.
आख़िरकार हर बच्चे की स्फटलता की कुंजी होती है उसका अपने माता पिता के साथ सकारात्मक जुड़ाव. इसलिए आपका अपने बच्चे की ज़िंदगी के साथ जुड़ा रहना आवश्यक है. याद रखें, एक मज़बूत बच्चे का निर्माण एक टूटे युवा को जोड़ने की अपेक्षा कई गुणा आसान है.
डॉक्टर प्रेरणा कोहली के बारे में
डॉक्टर प्रेरणा कोहली का मानना है की ” आप अपनी परेशानियों के बारे में मित्रों और परिवार वालों से बात कर सकते हैं, पर वो एक प्रोफेशनल एवं प्रशिक्षित साइकॉलजिस्ट से परामर्श करने से बिल्कुल अलग है- जिन्हे ये पता है की आपको वास्तव में किस प्रकार के सहयता की आवश्यकता है”.
डॉक्टर प्रेरणा कोहली “100 विमन अचीवर्स अवॉर्ड्स विन्नर (2016) से राष्ट्रपति डॉक्टर प्रणब मूखःएऱ्ज़ेए द्वारा पुरूस्कृत हैं.
डॉक्टर प्रेरणा एक क्लिनिकल मनोवैज्ञानिक, कुशल प्रवक्ता, कार्यशाला प्रशिक्षक हैं एवं समग्र चिकित्सक हैं. वह जीवन संतुलन ,आत्म जागरूकता ,आंतरिक शांति पे कार्यशालायें एवं व्याख्यान प्रदान करती हैं.अपने ज्ञान और करुणा को बाटने को स्मर्पित डॉक्टर प्रेरणा कोहली सहज ज्ञान एवम् ठोस समझ को मिश्रित कर एक ऐसा समग्र दृष्टिकोण प्रदान करती हैं, जिसकी विशेषता भावनात्मक परिवर्तन के क्षेत्रों में है.
डॉक्टर प्रेरणा कोहली भारत की एक प्रमुख मनोवैज्ञानिक हैं और शख्स, परिवार, माता पिता एवम् बच्चों को खुश रहने की प्रोफेशनल सलाह प्रदान करती हैं.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
10 Motivational Tips for Students
It is the season of examinations, school and college students and their families are preparing for this annual ritual. While exams are temporary albeit important for students; it is more important for students to focus on the big picture. Below are my 10 favorite tips of students, encouraging and motivating them to look at the larger canvas.
Set Your Goals:
Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible. Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.
Plan Everything:
The biggest competition is you. You are not looking to follow others or pull them down. You should be planning to test your own boundaries. Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning, and focused effort.
Focus on the End Game:
Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.
Reward Yourself with spending time with loved ones:
Spending time with friends and family is a great way of enjoying life. It can also be a real bonding opportunity. Helping your friend is just as rewarding as helping yourself.
Remember your Strengths:
Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. Focus on your strengths and not your weaknesses; there are plenty of others who will highlight your weaknesses to you.
Acknowledge and Work on your Weaknesses’:
Pretension is a poor joke that you play on yourself. Snap out of it. Recognize your strengths, work on your weaknesses. Real achievement is appreciating and liking the person you see in the in the mirror every morning.
Look After Your Mental Health:
Self-esteem is as important to your well-being as legs are to a table. It is essential for physical and mental health and for happiness. Don’t let your self esteem dip.
Dream of the Future:
Remember that the dreams of the future are better than the history of the past. You can do nothing to go back in to the past to fix a problem, but you can certainly work in the present to improve your future.
Be Present In the Moment:
As Buddha said do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, and simply concentrate the mind on the present moment. Hence, your work on your present your future will be bright.
Believe in Yourself:
Keep your dreams alive. Also, understand, to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself. Thus, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Hence, remember all things are possible for those who believe in themselves. Thus, you are your own biggest coach and cheerleader.
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counselling on being happy.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
Raising Teenagers
One of the most profound pieces I have recently read about Raising Teenagers is:
Teenagers Learn What They Live!
If teenagers live with pressure, they learn to be stressed,
If teenagers live with failure, they learn to give up,
If teenagers live with rejection, they learn to feel lost,
If teenagers live with too many rules, they learn to get around them,
If teenagers live with too few rules, they learn to ignore the needs of others,
If teenagers live with broken promises, they learn to be disappointed,
If teenagers live with respect, they learn to honour others,
If teenagers live with trust, they learn to tell the truth,
If teenagers live with openness, they learn to discover themselves,
If teenagers live with natural consequences, they learn to be accountable,
If teenagers live with responsibility, they learn to be self-reliant,
If teenagers live with healthy habits, they learn to be kind to their bodies,
If teenagers live with support, they learn to feel good about themselves,
If teenagers live with creativity, they learn to share who they are,
If teenagers live with caring attention, they learn how to love,
If teenagers live with positive expectations, they learn to help build a better world.
In today’s complex world raising a teenager is far tougher than previous generations. Earlier generations taught teenagers not to question the authority of the parents. Hence, today teenagers will question the authority of the parent at each step.
Today parenting, especially when raising teenagers; is parenting by example. Thus, your teenager will follow what you do, and not what you tell them to do.
As a parent and a Psychologist who has counselled hundreds if not thousands of families in my career, I am sharing my seven recommendations for a healthy along with enriching relationship with your teenager:
Love them fiercely:
Love everything about them, the good grades, the foolish antics, their crushes, their heartbreaks, their ambitions, their goals, and also their dreams.
Listen and pay attention:
Pay attention to them, listen to what they have to say. Thus, put down your phone, shut down your laptop, hear them speak respectfully.
Say Yes more than No:
Encourage their dreams, but don’t be the person who is saying No. You can’t become a Professional Scuba Diver, or no, you aren’t capable of this. Be the “Yes” in their life. Thus, Support their dreams.
Say NO often:
Also, say no often enough to protect them from things that can harm them. Including, Friends and influences who will encourage them to drink and do drugs, indulge in unsafe sex or participate in any other acceptable activity.
Feed Them Well:
Also, this is the time when the foundation of their lifelong health is being laid. Hence, teach them to eat healthily, to eat nutritious food, and to build a healthy foundation. In conclusion, teach them about good nutrition.
Don’t sweat the small stuff:
Don’t worry about their dirty rooms or messy closets (unless it is becoming a health hazard). In the first place, listen to them, ask them how their day was, focus on the big stuff, and don’t waste your time on the little stuff.
Stand Back, and Enjoy the Magic:
Observe your teenager, if you have raised them well, they will be blooming into amazing adults. They have so much love, excitement and joy for life in them, allow them to experiment and become whom so ever they dream of becoming.
In conclusion, don’t forget that your teenagers are the greatest gift God has given you.
More About Dr. Prerna Kohli.
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. Also, She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counselling on being happy.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
New Year Resolutions
A lot of people make New Year Resolutions. Hence, it is estimated that almost 40% of the population makes resolutions at the beginning of the year. But, the question is how many of us adhere to our resolutions for the entire year? Unfortunately not too many of us have the willpower or ability to carry out our new year resolutions for the full year.
Some of the top New Year Resolutions:
Improve our fitness. Exercise more, eat healthier food, lose some weight, drink lesser alcohol, stop smoking etc.
Improve our state of mind. Thinking positively, enjoying our life, laughing more
Improve our money situation. Save more money, make more investments, spend wisely
Improve our career. Find a better job, become an entrepreneur, work harder at the current job
Improve our education. Especially for students, a promise to study harder
Improve our self. Reduce stress, become more positive, more organize, watch less TV
Travel
Help others by volunteering or doing more charity
Spend more time with loved ones as-well-as, family
Pray more, meditate, become more spiritual
Spend less time on Facebook, Instagram, and other social media
But, unfortunately, most of us break our New Year Resolutions within the first week itself. Thus, almost all of us break all our resolutions within the month of January itself.
To be more successful in following our resolutions for the entire year, follow these simple steps
Don’t make more than 3 resolutions, ideally one or two resolutions are more than enough
Remind yourself of your New Year Resolutions on a daily basis
In conclusion, a simple trick is to write / print your resolution on a piece of paper and laminate this paper and keep it somewhere, where you will see it daily, such as on your bedside. Remind yourself daily of your resolutions. Therefore, the key is if you follow your resolution for the first forty days, the balance 325 days of the year will be easy. So follow your resolution religiously from January 1st to February 10th (40 days) and the rest of the year will take care of itself.
Wishing you and your loved one a Happy 2017. Learn more about Dr. Kohli
