
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
What happens when a toxic relationship ends?
At the end of an emotionally abusive relationship, you might feel burdened with inconclusive thoughts and overwhelming emotions. And this is absolutely acceptable. While your friends and family feel thankful for your break-up, they may not be able to understand the emotional turmoil going inside your heart and brain. But you should not carry on with toxic relationship

Let’s look at the end of an abusive relationship from the following aspects:
Mental and Emotional Health
Post being dumped by the person whom you considered to be your one and only soul mate, you might go through a roller coaster of emotions. The symptoms are often similar to that of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
There might not be any visible scars to make it obvious that you are hurt, but the pain is similar to that of a physical injury.
You might even show obsessive behaviour, where you constantly think about your ex, your break up.
The more the covert these symptoms are, the more damage it can do to your emotional stability and the ability to overcome the trauma.
Attachment or Addiction?

When two people part their ways in a healthy way, they may feel hurt, but it does not take a psychological toll on the two persons involved. They eventually move on as a practical approach was followed to end the relationship. But in an emotionally abusive relationship, the break up isn’t as clean, rather the abuser is manipulative.
The victim might not recognize signs and develop an emotional attachment towards them.
You might re-run the events from your relationship in your mind several times throughout the day or read the old conversations.
Being with a person becomes addictive over a period of time, like an unhealthy attachment. It might seem normal and justified to the victim, but this really hampers their emotional well-being.
Moving on!

The first step to moving on is to accept your situation. A few things that you could do to overcome such a relationship are:
Take care of your emotions
Repairing your emotions requires great efforts. When you get abandoned by someone you are so addicted to, it affects your self-esteem negatively. You can feel used and discarded, angry and isolated. Instead of suppressing and being a home to them, it is very important that you accept and acknowledge your emotions. Recognize how you feel. You can make a journal about the same. If you feel like crying or screaming, do that.
Pen it down
At times it might be difficult for you to talk about your broken relationship and what all you went through in that. But it is important to express in order to heal. To start with, you can keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions, gradually opening up about it verbally.
Confide in Close ones

You can always count on your close friends and families when you feel the need to. Surround yourself with people. Avoid isolating yourself with your thoughts all the time.
Cut-off contact with the abuser
You need to cut off the contact with your ex. Being vulnerable might drag you to his doors, but this would be unhealthy. It is important to maintain a distance when you part ways with your abuser. You may feel a pull towards him, but remember it is unhealthy for your mental health if you remain connected to him.
Do not stalk
It may seem like a nice idea to keep a tab on your ex by stalking him on social media or keeping in touch with his friends. But this is not ideal. You must focus investing your time and energy on yourself rather than knowing about his whereabouts.
Postpone important decisions

In the times, when you are emotionally unstable it is better to not make any important life decisions, which may affect your future. Let yourself feel and heal for some time first.
Practice patience
For a physical injury to heal there is always a defined set of medicines and treatment method that one follows and gets okay. But for an emotional setback, you need to give yourself time. Every person takes their own time to get out of an emotional difficulty. Focus on your progress.
Seek Help
If your emotions are way out of control and are hindering with your daily life, you should seek for some professional help. In the times, when we are vulnerable, we might not be in the right state of mind to be emotionally efficient. A bit of advice about situation and lifestyle changes by a professional can prove to be of great help.
Are you in a healthy relationship? Have you been a victim of emotional abuse?
Call us for 15 minutes of free counselling at +91=9069069069.

BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
Defeating the prejudice, Embracing Equality
September 06, 2018, will mark an important day for the LGBT community in India. The Supreme Court of India abolished Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code (IPC). This law came into effect in the year 1982. It stated that the carnal intercourse against the order of nature with man, woman or animal was punishable with imprisonment of a lifetime or at least 10 years of jail, with or without fine.

Today’s judgment symbolizes the beginning of unbiased treatment for the LGBTQ community in our country. For a very long time, the community has been harassed and struggled. They had been treated as the discarded sections, always. But the decision of abolishing Section 377 is a huge initiation in terms of equality.
Chief justice Dipak Misra and Justices DY Chandrachud, AM Khanwilkar, Indu Malhotra, and Rohinton Fali Nariman decreed that LGBTQ community will now have the same sexual rights just like everyone else.

The Journey
In 2009, Delhi High court had declared that any consensual sexual act between homosexuals in private is not illegal. But later, Justice G S Singhvi did not validate the decision and said that it is on the members of Parliament to make any decision on the topic.
However, in April 2014, the Supreme Court suggested the government to declare transgender as the third sex and should be able to practice all the rights under the law and also asked the community in the OBC category. Naz Foundation in April 2016 filed a petition and the Chief Justice, TS Thakur decided to review the same along with a constitutional bench of 5 other members.
The Verdict
Finally, following the small steps over the time, here is the decision, taken for the welfare of the LGBTQ community. From the common man to the United Nations, everyone is praising the decision. There is a wave of happiness all over the country.

The Psychological Benefits of the verdict
The verdict is the right step in the direction of equality as there will be no victimization or labelling of any alternate sexuality. This might not end discrimination totally, but this will open the doors of acceptance for people of the LGBT community. The harassment and blackmailing of the gay people will stop, which had actually been one of the major reasons in the past for them to remain in the closet. The homosexuals who married the opposite sex due to the stigma can come out now, ending their unhappy marriages.
Accepting others for who they are is the biggest support one can give each other. Sexuality is not an acquired trait, its very much natural.
All the protests and demonstrations finally end in a fruitful result. From here on, there will be hearts full of love and heads held up high with pride.

BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
Tips to Increase your Child’s Emotional Quotient (EQ)
Along with Intelligence Quotient (IQ), it’s very important to develop your child’s Emotional Quotient (EQ) too. It’s proven that children who have a better EQ, turn out to be much nicer, smarter, and more intelligent person in general. This is because a person with higher EQ is able to handle stressful situations more easily than a person who doesn’t have a high EQ.

Thus, below are few Tips to Increase your child’s Emotional Quotient (EQ):
Identifying their Feelings:
Most importantly, you should teach your child to identify their feelings from a very young. If they are throwing tantrums, it’s important that you teach them to identify their feelings. This way they will understand why they are feeling like this. Also, it should be done when they are feeling happy. Thus, helping them verbalize their feelings.
Showing Empathy:
Once they are able to verbalize, it is important for them to know how to empathise with others. Empathizing doesn’t mean agreeing with other, it means to put yourself in other’s shoe. Thus, when they are verbalizing their emotions it is important to teach about empathy. Also, if you disagree with their request, it is important to give them a reason while acknowledging their feelings.

Problem Solving:
It’s important to teach them about how to solve their problems. If they come crying about a fight, you should praise them for not reacting to the situation. Also, you should teach them how they can solve this problem without losing their cool. You can provide them with a solution and teach them how to positively find a solution for the fight.
Managing Your Own Feelings:
To teach them how to manage their feelings, you must set an example by managing your own feelings. If they did something which might anger you quickly, then it is advisable to first check your own feelings, so that your child can learn from it. Once your anger is at a check, then you can talk about how you feel and why you feel this. This way, they will learn and understand how to react in a similar situation.

Being Sensitive to Others:
Teaching about empathy is not a very easy task. Hence, it is important that they start showing empathy for others. You should teach them to be sensitive towards their friends and family. Soon your child will start showing care for others and start asking their friends if they are feeling sad or not. Thus, being a good human being overall.
These tips will help your child to grow their EQ and reach a level of understanding and management of stress. Thus, helping them to understand about others, and keep a distance from mental illnesses.
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BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
6 Ways to Appear More Intelligent
Everyone wants to be more intelligent. All of us want to charm our bosses and peers by appearing more intelligent than them. In a scientific research, it is shown that our way of speaking and how we appear, increases the perception of others and finds the person intelligent. here some tips to increase intelligence

Thus, below are few ways to appear more intelligent:
The First Impression:
The first impression is very important. A study shows that people most of the time making assumptions about the other within first 11 seconds of meeting. Thus, it is important to pay attention to how you look. The more clothes you wear the more it is easier for the other person to notice your mind rather than your body. Thus, appearance plays a very big role in the first impression.
Maintaining Eye Contact:
It’s very important to maintain eye contact when you are talking to someone. When you maintain eye contact with the other person, you are able to listen to them and thus respond in an intelligent manner. It also shows that you are confident and ready to listen to them.

Having the Right Posture:
To appear increase intelligent, it is important to maintain your posture. Studies show that people who tend to slouch present themselves as less confident and intelligent. Thus, having a straight and right posture presents you as confident and intelligent. Also, it helps you improve your appearance in general.
Getting Proper Sleep:
It’s important to get proper sleep to appear to increase intelligence. A well-rested person is able to listen and learn new things much faster than a person who is sleep deprived. Also, having proper sleep will remove a frown from the face and the eyes will appear wider. Thus, you becoming more attractive and appearing increase intelligent.
Speaking Slowly and Clearly:
Expressing yourself is very important, thus the best way to express is to speak slowly. Slow and clear speech creates an impression of what you are saying, you are confident about it. It makes you appear more intelligent as you present yourself well sorted out. A research proves that people who speak slowly and clearly appear to be increase intelligent than someone who speaks very fast and unclear.
Broadening Your Mind:
To appear and be increas intelligent, the best way is to be open to new ideas. Broadening your mind and horizon helps you to grasp and learn what you didn’t know. It also gives you the ability to understand and look at a situation in a very different perspective. Also, it enhances your listening skills.
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