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At the end of an emotionally abusive relationship, you might feel burdened with inconclusive thoughts and overwhelming emotions. And this is absolutely acceptable. While your friends and family feel thankful for your break-up, they may not be able to understand the emotional turmoil going inside your heart and brain. But you should not carry on with toxic relationship

Let’s look at the end of an abusive relationship from the following aspects:

Mental and Emotional Health

Post being dumped by the person whom you considered to be your one and only soul mate, you might go through a roller coaster of emotions. The symptoms are often similar to that of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
There might not be any visible scars to make it obvious that you are hurt, but the pain is similar to that of a physical injury.
You might even show obsessive behaviour, where you constantly think about your ex, your break up.
The more the covert these symptoms are, the more damage it can do to your emotional stability and the ability to overcome the trauma.

Attachment or Addiction?

When two people part their ways in a healthy way, they may feel hurt, but it does not take a psychological toll on the two persons involved. They eventually move on as a practical approach was followed to end the relationship. But in an emotionally abusive relationship, the break up isn’t as clean, rather the abuser is manipulative.
The victim might not recognize signs and develop an emotional attachment towards them.
You might re-run the events from your relationship in your mind several times throughout the day or read the old conversations.
Being with a person becomes addictive over a period of time, like an unhealthy attachment. It might seem normal and justified to the victim, but this really hampers their emotional well-being.

Moving on!

The first step to moving on is to accept your situation. A few things that you could do to overcome such a relationship are:

Take care of your emotions

Repairing your emotions requires great efforts. When you get abandoned by someone you are so addicted to, it affects your self-esteem negatively. You can feel used and discarded, angry and isolated. Instead of suppressing and being a home to them, it is very important that you accept and acknowledge your emotions. Recognize how you feel. You can make a journal about the same. If you feel like crying or screaming, do that.

Pen it down

At times it might be difficult for you to talk about your broken relationship and what all you went through in that. But it is important to express in order to heal. To start with, you can keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions, gradually opening up about it verbally.

Confide in Close ones

You can always count on your close friends and families when you feel the need to. Surround yourself with people. Avoid isolating yourself with your thoughts all the time.

Cut-off contact with the abuser

You need to cut off the contact with your ex. Being vulnerable might drag you to his doors, but this would be unhealthy. It is important to maintain a distance when you part ways with your abuser. You may feel a pull towards him, but remember it is unhealthy for your mental health if you remain connected to him.

Do not stalk

It may seem like a nice idea to keep a tab on your ex by stalking him on social media or keeping in touch with his friends. But this is not ideal. You must focus investing your time and energy on yourself rather than knowing about his whereabouts.

Postpone important decisions

In the times, when you are emotionally unstable it is better to not make any important life decisions, which may affect your future. Let yourself feel and heal for some time first.

Practice patience

For a physical injury to heal there is always a defined set of medicines and treatment method that one follows and gets okay. But for an emotional setback, you need to give yourself time. Every person takes their own time to get out of an emotional difficulty. Focus on your progress.

Seek Help

If your emotions are way out of control and are hindering with your daily life, you should seek for some professional help. In the times, when we are vulnerable, we might not be in the right state of mind to be emotionally efficient. A bit of advice about situation and lifestyle changes by a professional can prove to be of great help.

Are you in a healthy relationship? Have you been a victim of emotional abuse?

Call us for 15 minutes of free counselling at +91=9069069069.

Like all mental illnesses, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) contains myths and disbelief. But, it is more common for people suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder to be under these myths. The justification and glorification of these myths are done through movies and TV series. Hence, the myths around Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder are much more prevalent.

Thus, below are few of the myths and the realities around PTSD:

Myth:

It is a very common myth that Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder only happens after a dangerous event. People believe that Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder can only happen after someone has faced an event directly.

Reality:

In reality, it is not necessary that the person should face direct trauma. Anyone can have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder even if they see someone else going through a traumatic experience. Thus, if a family member or a loved one is going through an event, just by looking at it, a person can acquire Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Also, it can happen right after the death of a loved one.

Myth:

People tend to say that time will heal the wounds. They will constantly say to the person suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder that just give it time.

Reality:

It takes years to overcome Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, with professional help. An adult can still be affected by childhood trauma years after the event has passed. Giving it time will not heal the wound. Thus, to cure Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder it is important to seek professional help.

Myth:

One of the most prevalent and glorified myth is, that only soldiers get Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Even in movies and TV shows it is shown that soldiers are the only one suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Thus, it has become a common belief among people.

Reality:

It is true that soldiers and war veterans are statistically the most numbers of people suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. But, it is not necessary that only they can have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It can affect anyone who has experienced or seen a traumatic event.

Myth:

People always assume that a person suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is very weak and doesn’t have the ability to get over it. This assumption is not only prevalent for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder but all the mental health illnesses. Thus, people start judging the person for their illness.

Reality:

The hard-hitting reality is, that the person who is suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is not weak but, is actually suffering from a mental illness. It is not in their hand to come out of it just like that. It takes proper treatment for a person to actually come out of it. This particular judgemental behaviour makes it difficult for the person to overcome any illness.

It’s important that we should avoid these myths, and actually listen to the person empathetically. It takes a lot of courage to accept about this illness. Judging them doesn’t actually help the person. Hence, it is important to make the first step and give out a helping hand.

Thus, if you or someone you know is suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, then please seek professional help immediately.

To know more about Dr Prerna Kohli

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can happen to adults as well as children. The amount of trauma experienced by an adult can be experienced by a child too. But, their reaction to trauma differs with age.

Thus, below are few symptoms shown by a Child having PTSD:

Bed Wetting:

Even after learning how to use the toilet, the child starts to wet the bed. This event usually happens because of nightmares about the trauma. Also, the child doesn’t realise about this issue and keeps on wetting the bed.

No Talk:

Mostly, children become unable to or in extreme cases, stop talking. They forget how to talk and express their emotions. Also, in some cases, the child becomes unable to talk. Thus, becoming mute.

Acting Out:

The trauma caused by the event is very scary for them. But, as they are unable to express themselves, they start acting out the trauma. This usually happens during their play or when they are indulged in other activities like drawing, painting etc.

Become Clingy:

They will start to cling to a parent or a guardian who they are close to. The fear of the trauma scares them to an unimaginable extent. Thus, making them cling to a loved one for safety and comfort.

Destructive Behaviour:

Sometimes, the child starts to act in a destructive manner. As they are unable to explain what is going on with them, they will start becoming angry and destructive.

With age, the symptoms are shown by a child also evolves. Thus, children of different age will exhibit different symptoms.

Thus, below are the symptoms shown by child, age-wise, suffering from PTSD:

Under Age 6:

Children under the age of 6 will usually show the symptoms mentioned above. They will cling to a parent or start acting out in their play.

Between Age 7-11:

Children between the age of 7-11 start showing symptoms similar to above. They will have nightmares and will start avoiding school or school work. They might isolate themselves or start acting out in an aggressive manner. Their drawings or paintings might become an expression of the trauma.

Between Age 12-18:

Children between the age of 12-18 will usually show the symptoms which an adult will show. This may include, and not limited to, depression, anxiety, acting out, substance use or even constantly running away from home.

PTSD can happen to anyone, regardless of age. If you or someone you know is suffering from PTSD then please visit a mental health professional immediately.

To know more about Dr Prerna Kohli

After any traumatic event, it is normal to experience upsetting memories, trouble sleeping or doing daily activities. These feelings take time to go away when we have experienced a traumatic situation. After few weeks the person starts to feel better and get back to normal routine. But, if this feeling stays over for more than few months, then it is possible that you are experiencing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

PTSD is a stress disorder, where the person keeps on getting flashbacks of the traumatic event. These events/memories, start evoking anxiety within them. The memories of the event become very stressful for them and they become unable to resume their daily work.

Thus, below are the symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder:

Flashbacks:

Someone suffering from PTSD will start to relive the moment over and over again in their mind. The memories will be represented as nightmares or constant thoughts. Thus, it will give the feeling that you are stuck at the moment.

Avoiding:

You will start avoiding moments or situations which remind you of the event. Also, you will start to ignore the person who is related to the moment. Thus, avoiding the situation completely; even talking about it.

Negative Feelings:

You will start to experience negative thoughts. These thoughts can be about guilt or shame. Also, your perspective on the world will start changing and you will find it difficult to trust yourself and others around you. Thus, being happy about situations will start becoming more difficult.

Always on Alert:

You will start assessing situations very deeply and will always be on the lookout for danger. Hence, this can start hampering your sleep and concentration. Thus, making you feel vulnerable and irritable most of the time.

Also, Along with PTSD, there can be additional mental health problems.

Below is a list of other problems associated with PTSD:

• Depression or Anxiety
• Drinking or any other addiction

  

• Feeling of guilt, shame, hopelessness and despair.
• Physical symptoms like pain in head, stomach etc.
• Relationship Problems
• Employment Problems

PTSD can happen to anyone. Usually, these symptoms start coming up right after the event. But, sometimes it can also appear after months or years after the event. They may come and go but will keep on hampering your life.

PTSD is not a sign of weakness. It is an illness which needs to be treated. Hence, if you or someone you know is suffering from PTSD then please visit a mental health professional immediately.

To know more about Dr Prerna Kohli

The trauma one goes through when they are abused as a child remains prevalent for a lifetime. Most of the survivors of sexual abuse suffer from severe mental illnesses. The trauma suffered remains with them, which hampers and interferes with their life. It is also seen that about 90% of the survivors suffer from dreading nightmares. here we tell you 7 ways to Cope If You Were Sexually Abused as a Child.

It is important for people who have suffered such trauma to recover from it.

Thus, below are Seven things you can do if you were sexually abused as a child:

It’s Not Your Fault:

Firstly, the most important thing to know and understand is, that it is not your fault. The mind keeps on rotating about what exactly happened and creates a tendency for self-blame. For Example, it might keep telling you, you shouldn’t have entered that room, or you should have done something at that point in time. But, there are situations which are not in our hands, and it is important to know that. The only person who is at fault is the perpetrator.

A Positive Diary:

Coping up with this trauma is difficult and it creates fear and anxiety within us. Hence, it is important to keep a positive diary with us. The definition of a positive diary is, that you keep writing small motivating notes in the diary and keep that diary with yourself. Whenever the thought of guilt, shame comes to your mind you glance at the diary. This way, you are motivating yourself and simultaneously coping up with your trauma. The world might seem a scary place, but if we look at the positives, then coping up becomes easier.

Talk to Someone:

All the thoughts and feelings inside us, eat us up. Hence, it is important to find a person who you trust, and who wouldn’t judge you. Talking about your feelings will help you cope with it. If all these years you have bottled up these feelings, talking about it will put you at ease. Also, it will lighten your heart and help you to have a better sleep.

Engage in Contemplative Practice:

To keep your body and mind in harmony and to feel control about your body, it is important to engage yourself in contemplative practices. These practices can include, yoga, tai-chi, meditation, prayer etc. But, doing these creates an insight and helps you realize your feelings and thoughts. Everyone’s spiritual finding is different. Hence it is important to find yours.

It’s OK to feel your Feelings:

Often more than not, the basic tendency for anyone is to numb their feelings after trauma. They resort to drinking, smoking or other drugs to get rid of the thoughts. But, using these modes to cope up your feelings makes it worse. The thoughts come back again, and it then leads to worsening the situation. Also, many people due to this fall prey to addiction. Emotions which you feel, are necessary because it also gives the hope that you can also feel happiness. It is important to remember, only after the darkest night comes the brightest day.

Don’t Self-Medicate:

Due to this traumatic experience, people often suffer from severe mental health issues. Their first tendency is to self-medicate. Hence, making the situation worse. Thus, it is not advisable to do self-medication. You should always take professional help before taking any medication. Thus, making the medication actually helping you rather than making the situatiion worse.

Seek Professional Help:

There is nothing to be guilty about or hide from. Seeking a mental health professional will help you cope up with the trauma. Most of the times, we believe that healing isn’t possible from such trauma. But, healing is possible even though it might take time. A mental health professional will help you sail through the journey and you will be able to recover from the trauma you have had suffered.

Hence, if you or someone you know has gone through the experience of childhood sexual abuse, and are facing different mental health problems because of this, then please visit a professional immediately.  

To Learn More about Dr Prerna Kohli

Art therapy is a modern form of therapy.  It replaces the traditional therapy model by making use of imaginative structures. It is generally combined with other forms of psychotherapy. Although more beneficial for children, especially those who have trouble expressing their emotions, art therapy can be used with adults as well. Everyone can be creative in some form or the other. Therefore, what art therapy aims to do is, provide people the opportunity to think and act creatively. For this purpose, it uses a variety of modalities such as clay, paint, paper, color pencils etc.

It has the following benefits –

• Self-exploration: Art therapy offers a means of catharsis, by providing an insight into feelings that one might not have been previously aware of.
• Self-worth: The entire process (creative and analytical) involved in the creation of an artwork and then seeing a tangible end product provides a sense of fulfillment.
• Empowerment: Art therapy allows one to express one’s emotions and fears that one might not have been able to verbally. Thus, by allowing a sense of control over one’s feelings, it provides a sense of empowerment.
• Brain connectivity and plasticity: By encouraging creative thinking, art therapy simulates the process of creation of new pathways in your brain.
• Stress buster: Artistic and creative activities help you forget your problems and calm down. It provides you a mental escape and helps you connect with yourself better.

• Mental health: Art therapy improves the mental health of people suffering from other illnesses or traumatic experiences as well. Art therapy has benefits for – cancer patients; survivors of violence; substance abuser and addicts; people suffering from anxiety, depression, PTSD, bipolar disorder, and other emotional issues. It also helps people deal with relationship issues.
• Rapport Formation: It serves as a great tool for ice breaking, especially with children.

Psychologist is explain more about the Art therapy

Art therapy is not a tool for aiding healing, but an instrument for promoting mental well-being.

Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli

Incidents like an older, taller boy troubling the shorter boy of his class or a junior by snatching away his tiffin or tripping him are fairly common.

We have all been a part of bullying at some point in our childhood. Whether it was as a survivor, a perpetrator or a bystander. Although these incidents in retrospect or from a distance may seem very trivial, bullying is a very serious act that can have grave consequences both in the short-term as well as the long-term for the survivor as well as the perpetrator. Possible effects for all three parties involved are mentioned below –

For the Survivor

• Bunking or dropping out of school
• Social and emotional withdrawal
• Loss of self-confidence
• Having nightmares; trouble falling asleep
• Loss of appetite
• Adverse impact on academic performance
• Loss of interest in pleasurable activities
• Anger outbursts
• Developing mental health problems such as anxiety disorders, depression or PTSD as a result of the trauma experienced in extreme cases
• Engaging in self-harm
• Increased risk of committing suicide

Dr Prerna Kohli India’s Top Psychologist Talks about Effects of Childhood Bullying

For the Perpetrator

• Difficulty forming relationships due to lack of empathy or style of relating with others
• Engaging in high-risk behaviors
• Increased risk of substance abuse and also developing an antisocial personality disorder

For the Bystander

• Increased risk of substance abuse
• Constant fear of becoming the target, therefore skipping school
• Increased risk of developing an anxiety disorder or depression

It is important to realize that a bystander makes an active choice when he/she decides not to do anything about witnessing bullying. They then are doing any one of the following three things – 1) they are either choosing to ignore the situation because it does not affect them directly, 2) they are too scared to report the matter, 3) they are actually deriving sadistic pleasure by seeing someone else suffer. Not intervening when one witnesses bullying is a way of encouraging the bully to carry on with his behavior. Whichever be the case, observing and not intervening in such situations is not only the wrong thing to do but also has harmful effects on the bystander.

Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli