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A business icon, the founder of Coffee Cafe Day (CCD) was a powerhouse of energy and success. A billionaire many times over Siddhartha was an entrepreneur, a risk-taker and a beacon to other entrepreneurs.

Yet he committed suicide.

The statistics of suicide in India are horrendous, every hour a student in India commits suicide.  Every 3 seconds there is an attempted suicide in India.  Hopefully, the public anguish on the suicide by VG Siddhartha, the founder of CCD chain is not short-lived, and something positive comes from his untimely death. We can only pray that Siddhartha’s unfortunate death creates awareness about suicide and the stigma surrounding mental health is removed.

The question that comes to mind repeatedly is why does someone who is extremely successful professionally and personally end their life?

A study by the University of California exhibited that 50% of entrepreneurs will suffer from depression or some other form of mental health issues.

Some of the key reasons for mental health issues in entrepreneurs is

Competition: They constantly compare themselves to their competitors

Working 24×7: Working all the time deprives them of the simple pleasures of life, like enjoying a rainbow, or sitting down to have a meal with their family

Detachment: They feel detached from their real self, or who they were before they became successful

Lack of Resilience: When they grow up with wealth, they lack the resilience to weather the  downturns in the cycle of life

Vulnerability: They are vulnerable to the criticism and peer pressure of the industry

Attaining a goal: High successful people have a sense of depression upon achieving a goal. Startup founders on occasion feel bouts of depression upon raising funding, exiting their company etc.

The death of Sidhartha, (founder of the CCD chain and many other businesses) by suicide will hopefully focus the spotlight on celebrities and depression.

CEO, entrepreneurs, celebrities are generally more prone to depression and bipolar disorder due to the neverending public and media scrutiny. They are more susceptible to mental disorders such as panic attacks, insomnia, substance abuse, depression, and suicidal thoughts as they are under more pressure than normal people. In the unfortunate death of VG Sidhartha, the pressure of running such a large empire and the financial stresses of this conglomerate took their toll on this man.

To anyone who is contemplating suicide, don’t do it! Life is like a pendulum, there will be good phases and bad phases, we need to live through the bad to appreciate the good.

RIP VG Sidhartha, you have left a positive impact on millions of lives. Our interaction was brief, but I was personally touched by your generosity and helpfulness.

To learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli, click here

Images courtesy Wikipedia and Pixabay

At the end of an emotionally abusive relationship, you might feel burdened with inconclusive thoughts and overwhelming emotions. And this is absolutely acceptable. While your friends and family feel thankful for your break-up, they may not be able to understand the emotional turmoil going inside your heart and brain. But you should not carry on with toxic relationship

Let’s look at the end of an abusive relationship from the following aspects:

Mental and Emotional Health

Post being dumped by the person whom you considered to be your one and only soul mate, you might go through a roller coaster of emotions. The symptoms are often similar to that of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
There might not be any visible scars to make it obvious that you are hurt, but the pain is similar to that of a physical injury.
You might even show obsessive behaviour, where you constantly think about your ex, your break up.
The more the covert these symptoms are, the more damage it can do to your emotional stability and the ability to overcome the trauma.

Attachment or Addiction?

When two people part their ways in a healthy way, they may feel hurt, but it does not take a psychological toll on the two persons involved. They eventually move on as a practical approach was followed to end the relationship. But in an emotionally abusive relationship, the break up isn’t as clean, rather the abuser is manipulative.
The victim might not recognize signs and develop an emotional attachment towards them.
You might re-run the events from your relationship in your mind several times throughout the day or read the old conversations.
Being with a person becomes addictive over a period of time, like an unhealthy attachment. It might seem normal and justified to the victim, but this really hampers their emotional well-being.

Moving on!

The first step to moving on is to accept your situation. A few things that you could do to overcome such a relationship are:

Take care of your emotions

Repairing your emotions requires great efforts. When you get abandoned by someone you are so addicted to, it affects your self-esteem negatively. You can feel used and discarded, angry and isolated. Instead of suppressing and being a home to them, it is very important that you accept and acknowledge your emotions. Recognize how you feel. You can make a journal about the same. If you feel like crying or screaming, do that.

Pen it down

At times it might be difficult for you to talk about your broken relationship and what all you went through in that. But it is important to express in order to heal. To start with, you can keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions, gradually opening up about it verbally.

Confide in Close ones

You can always count on your close friends and families when you feel the need to. Surround yourself with people. Avoid isolating yourself with your thoughts all the time.

Cut-off contact with the abuser

You need to cut off the contact with your ex. Being vulnerable might drag you to his doors, but this would be unhealthy. It is important to maintain a distance when you part ways with your abuser. You may feel a pull towards him, but remember it is unhealthy for your mental health if you remain connected to him.

Do not stalk

It may seem like a nice idea to keep a tab on your ex by stalking him on social media or keeping in touch with his friends. But this is not ideal. You must focus investing your time and energy on yourself rather than knowing about his whereabouts.

Postpone important decisions

In the times, when you are emotionally unstable it is better to not make any important life decisions, which may affect your future. Let yourself feel and heal for some time first.

Practice patience

For a physical injury to heal there is always a defined set of medicines and treatment method that one follows and gets okay. But for an emotional setback, you need to give yourself time. Every person takes their own time to get out of an emotional difficulty. Focus on your progress.

Seek Help

If your emotions are way out of control and are hindering with your daily life, you should seek for some professional help. In the times, when we are vulnerable, we might not be in the right state of mind to be emotionally efficient. A bit of advice about situation and lifestyle changes by a professional can prove to be of great help.

Are you in a healthy relationship? Have you been a victim of emotional abuse?

Call us for 15 minutes of free counselling at +91=9069069069.

We have recently lost two very famous celebrities, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, to suicide. Similarly, we have lost many famous people who committed suicide including Robbin Williams and Chester Bennington. This shows the severity of the illness, which is ignored by many and shrugged by others. Depression. It is real and takes away everything from us.

Most of the people are aware of what depression is, yet we are ready to ignore what is lost. Sometimes, it comes hidden inside our smiles, and sometimes behind the silence. We become aware and unaware at the same time and close our eyes and wish it will go away. But, it doesn’t. We wish for riches, we wish for fame, for love but even when we receive them we are not able to grab hold of the happiness we wish for.

Depression comes in various forms and it engulfs us.

Few of the common symptoms of depression are:

Lack/Excess of Sleep:

A person who is suffering from depression will start exhibiting insomnia or hypersomnia. That is, the person will not be able to sleep at all or, will be sleeping too much.

Loss of Interest:

The person will lose interest in all the activities he/she loved to do. Hence, the person will not be able to take interest or pleasure in the activities they used to love.

Change in Appetite:

Depression takes away everything, including our desire to eat. Or, in the other extreme, we start eating too much. Thus, gaining or losing a lot of weight.

Irritability:

There is a constant irritability with-in the person. The person is not able to understand what is exactly happening with them. Hence, when someone starts questioning them they start becoming irritable. They are not able to handle all the questions inside them. They will start crying without reason or start getting angry.

Thoughts of Suicide and Death:

The thoughts of the person keep revolving around suicide and death. They become obsessed with those thoughts, and even in some cases they even try and commit suicide. They feel that there is no need for their existence.

The above symptoms should not be overlooked.

The person is maybe trying to say something, we need to be there to listen to the person.

In today’s time, we are indulged in social media and news of someone passing away affect minds and provides the extra push everyone is looking for. It is noted that after the suicide of Robin Williams, the suicide rate increased to 50% more. We need to understand that suicide is not the solution.

Also, suicide is not easy. It takes a lot of courage, it drains out all the energy of the person to just make one decision. But, as mentioned it should never be the answer.

We need to start taking steps, start acknowledging. Depression doesn’t look if you have money or fame or anything. It needs to be de-stigmatized. It is something we need not run away from, but something we need to acknowledge. A simple question, “how are you?” or “are you fine?” may do wonders for many. It doesn’t matter if the person is posting 100 photos on Instagram every day or appearing on TV shows or movies, it can be anyone.

In today’s fast-paced life, we have put on so many masks. Waiting. For someone to take off those masks. Be the person to remove those masks, provide help and if need, ask for help or seek help. Thus, if you or someone you know is suffering from depression, please seek professional help immediately. Remove the stigma. Win the Fight against Depression!

Learn More about Dr Prerna Kohli

When someone you know dies of committing a suicide, it can be one of the scariest and upsetting experiences of your life. It is perhaps one of the worst ways of losing someone you love as it often leaves one with feelings of helplessness and guilt. Why someone commits suicide is hard enough for adults to understand and accept, and so explaining or talking about it to children becomes even more of a challenge.

The reasons why most adults tend to hesitate or avoid having conversations about death (especially suicide) with children are twofold. One, these conversations make us feel uncomfortable. Two, we feel protective abou them. Therefore, we are afraid of the kind of impact they might have on the child. However, sooner or later, depending on how prepared you feel you as well as the child are to have the conversation, you will have to have this conversation with your child.

Some guidelines to help you go about doing it are as follows:

• Use simple language and avoid euphemisms such as “he/she went to a better place”. Be factual.
• Be honest. Explain suicide the way you would any other kind of death. Just like any other form of death is caused by a physical problem, explain how suicide is a result of issues related to mental health, without any blaming or judgment.
• Alter your content based on the child’s age.
• Encourage questions and be prepared to answer a lot of them.
• Be prepared to handle a range of reactions (such as disinterest, numbness, aggression, distress or withdrawal).

  

• Give them time to process this new information and support them in this process.
• Reassure them about their security.

It is important to understand that talking about suicide does not increase the risk of it.

Instead, it makes one aware how important mental health is in one’s life. It also helps one recognize suicide as an outcome of an illness rather than an act of selfishness or irresponsibility. It encourages one to be vigilant and seek as well as offer help in time.

Among youth aged between 10-24 years, suicide is the second most leading cause of death. With mounting pressure of exams and competition with peers, suicides are on a rise. Therefore, it becomes all the more important to talk about it with your child, so that they know that they can discuss it with you anytime they want. Understanding of the mental health issues that lead one to commit suicide, will help children recognize what places them at risk and talk about it.

Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli

Incidents like an older, taller boy troubling the shorter boy of his class or a junior by snatching away his tiffin or tripping him are fairly common.

We have all been a part of bullying at some point in our childhood. Whether it was as a survivor, a perpetrator or a bystander. Although these incidents in retrospect or from a distance may seem very trivial, bullying is a very serious act that can have grave consequences both in the short-term as well as the long-term for the survivor as well as the perpetrator. Possible effects for all three parties involved are mentioned below –

For the Survivor

• Bunking or dropping out of school
• Social and emotional withdrawal
• Loss of self-confidence
• Having nightmares; trouble falling asleep
• Loss of appetite
• Adverse impact on academic performance
• Loss of interest in pleasurable activities
• Anger outbursts
• Developing mental health problems such as anxiety disorders, depression or PTSD as a result of the trauma experienced in extreme cases
• Engaging in self-harm
• Increased risk of committing suicide

Dr Prerna Kohli India’s Top Psychologist Talks about Effects of Childhood Bullying

For the Perpetrator

• Difficulty forming relationships due to lack of empathy or style of relating with others
• Engaging in high-risk behaviors
• Increased risk of substance abuse and also developing an antisocial personality disorder

For the Bystander

• Increased risk of substance abuse
• Constant fear of becoming the target, therefore skipping school
• Increased risk of developing an anxiety disorder or depression

It is important to realize that a bystander makes an active choice when he/she decides not to do anything about witnessing bullying. They then are doing any one of the following three things – 1) they are either choosing to ignore the situation because it does not affect them directly, 2) they are too scared to report the matter, 3) they are actually deriving sadistic pleasure by seeing someone else suffer. Not intervening when one witnesses bullying is a way of encouraging the bully to carry on with his behavior. Whichever be the case, observing and not intervening in such situations is not only the wrong thing to do but also has harmful effects on the bystander.

Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli

In today’s time, with technology and social media, the level of human interaction is decreasing. Even in a parent-child relationship, the communication between the parent and the child has fizzled out. According to a survey, children as young as a 6-year-old child can also show symptoms of depression. But, parents mostly dismiss them by putting it as a normal emotional behaviour in the child. Thus, by this statement the child’s depression often gets un-noticed. How to Identifying Depression?

Thus, below are few identifying symptoms of depression in children:

Low Mood and Unhappiness:

The child will most of the time present a very low mood. They will constantly feel down and unhappy.

Crying:

Showing your emotions is not a bad thing. But, when the child is always crying or tearful then it becomes an indicating symptom.

Irritable:

The child starts getting irritated at small things. Sometimes, they show irritable behaviour even when someone is trying to console them.

Low Energy:

Most of the times, the child will not be willing to indulge in any activity. Thus, showing lack, low energy.

Socially Isolated:

The child will start isolating himself/herself from others. They start preferring to stay alone and not indulge themselves in any activity. Thus, they will start to lose interest in activities they used to enjoy or like.

Lack of Sleep and Appetite:

Due to overthinking and worry they can’t sleep. Also, their appetite goes down or up too much.

Difficulty in Focusing and Concentrating:

A lot of times, they are unable to focus or concentrate on a single thing. Thus, hampering their decision-making capabilities. Their focus keeps on wandering and they start to reminiscence about their past and start thinking what went wrong.

Psychosomatic Pain:

As children are unable to express their feelings, their body starts showing symptoms of their feelings. Usually, the child will constantly have head or stomach aches without any medical reason.

Feelings of Guilt and Worthlessness:

The child will start blaming themselves for everything. Thus, it will make them feel that they are worthless and have an immense feeling of guilt. Hence, hampering their self-esteem.

Thoughts of Self-Harm:

Lastly, some of the children also show thoughts of self-harm and suicide. They will constantly feel worthless and think about ending their life.

If your child, or any child you know show these symptoms of depression, then it is advisable to visit a psychologist immediately.

To learn more about Dr Prerna Kohli.

Losing someone who is dear to you, be it a friend or family member, is a very traumatizing experience. People suffering from depression, leave all hope in their life and find suicide the last option. But, the problem arises when they express this to their family member or friend. The person who is approached doesn’t actually know how to address this situation. There is a genuine worry in them but, they can’t address the worry.

A mental health professional or volunteers at suicide helpline knows what to say or do. But, they are not available for them 24 hours.

Hence, below are few things you can do to help them:

Show Concern:

It’s very important to show genuine concern for their situation. But, in these cases, you need to show and express your concern about them. Expressing your concern to them will let them know that you are there for them.

Ask them:

Many people don’t ask the person because they think they will instigate the situation. But, it’s very important to ask them. One should ask how they have planned to do it, or how they are thinking about it or what time, etc. Asking them about it, will not instigate the situation, rather will give them an outlet to speak.

Don’t Argue:

Usually, the first instinct of ours is an argument. We tell them that “there is so many good” or “think about your family” etc. But, these things are perceived as an attack. Instead of arguing or giving reasons to them, be with them and care for them. Let them know, that they are not alone.

Take Professional Help:

In these cases, professional help is very important. If the person is going to a psychiatrist or a psychologist, then urge them to contact them. If not, then take them to a mental health professional. It’s very important for them to know that they have different kinds of support.

Don’t Leave Them Alone:

Most importantly, don’t leave them alone. This is the time they are feeling lonely and vulnerable. In their time of need, you should not leave them alone.

Listen to them:

Lastly, it’s very important for you to listen to them. Just listening to them empathetically and without judgment helps them a lot. Hence, patiently listen to them and understand their feelings and emotions.

It becomes a matter of great grief if we lose someone like this. Hence, if you or someone you know is suicidal; then please visit a psychologist nearby. Also, please share this blog as it can help a friend or family member helping their loved ones.

If you need Psychologist help click here

To Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli

Life is to be Live!

Strife and distress are not exclusive to places like Syria or North Korea. We face them every day in our regular lives due to various factors. Sometimes the enormity of pain and suffering that is happening world-over, could make us feel overwhelmed.

Before comparing ourselves with people who have it all, it is equally important to look at the lives of those less fortunate. This acts as a reminder for us to be grateful for all that we have and increases our appreciation towards life.

The fact is that in the bigger scheme of things, the time we play around on this planet is very minuscule and if we spend such short span in worry and negativity, we’ll never truly appreciate the miracle that life is!

Here are some of the reasons why life is so precious and after looking at them, you will definitely agree that it makes sense to look at the positives of life rather than just the negatives.

We move towards what we focus on:

.When you look at life as just a bag of struggles, we manifest more of that in our lives. Instead, if you look at life as a precious gift, your whole outlook and attitude changes and all the worries seem to shrink in their size.

Every failure has a reason:

Failures are designed to teach us the right lessons at just the right time that we need them. They are not punishments but agents of enlightenment. Instead of letting failures take us down, we should rise up and be more inspired to get better.

Pain is gain

Pain is an agent of awareness. It enriches mind over time. We grow and learn through pain. Use pain for your gain instead of letting it rain hailstorms on you.

Savour life

If we look at the whole of the Universe, the chance of you being a human on earth is one-in-a-zillion. Savour and celebrate every moment. Let it not be wasted.

Gratitude fuels hope

We understand that it is tough to feel full of hope when everything around you is shattered into a million pieces. But, when we’re grateful, we move out of fear into a state of love and security. These new positive emotions fuel hope.

Live it to the fullest

Life is too short to hold on to grudges and unpleasant emotions. Release them. Have forgiveness conversations. Live it to the full intensity that you deserve to enjoy.

Comparison kills uniqueness

Your life is unique. Your journey is valuable. You matter in this world and yes, of course, we need you. Quit comparing yourself with others because everyone is on their own timeline and no two journeys are comparable.

Share it

In grief, in loss, through the thick and thins, your friends and family are there for you to share your pain with. No problem is too big. Don’t sweat the small stuff and remember that it’s all small stuff.