Dr. Prerna Kohli, India’s most eminent Psychologist believes that marriage is an institution that is important legally, religiously and even culturally. It is a sign of health, commitment and a celebration of vitality and strength of a relationship. It promotes monogamy and is a socially as well as a legally sanctioned practice that allows people to consummate their love by developing intimacy, and grants them to hold and raise a family together. Marriages are also hard-work. It requires consistent efforts where two people sign up for a lifetime of passion and intimacy. In essence, a marriage is growth-oriented and never-ending work.
Due to the long term nature of a marriage, it is highly likely and very natural for a couple to experience ups and downs in their marital life. These downs may sometimes become serious, and require the involvement of a seasoned Psychologist. Some couples choose to confide in the company of their close friends and family but biases from them are likely to cloud their judgement without providing them with the right solution and leaving them feeling frustrated. A trained psychologist likely provide you a neutral perspective and help you reach action that can reignite your relationship.
Dr. Prerna Kohli believes that relationships go through various phases before and even after culminating into a marriage. Each of these phases are capable of distress and some are likely to resolve on their own while others may require intervention from a professional. In order to understand this, let us look at some of the phases of a relationship.
Romance Phase: This typically occurs before marriage. It is when we first fall in love, we can’t stop thinking about our partners, they are the ones we want to meet, spend time with, listen to. We may start planning our days around them, and think they are the most perfect people on the planet. This is usually the first stage of any relationship. It is also called the honeymoon phase.
Disillusionment Phase: This is when the couples realize that relationships are hard work, there is responsibility that is brought on by each relationship. This phase tests you and your partner. You are able to see the quirks and imperfections of your partners more clearly. Some couples may even choose to end their relationship at this stage. Those who stay in the relationship might tie the knot, have a family and try to maintain a balance between work and family life. This can be stressful for some people and problems are likely to crop up.
Dissolution, Adjustment with resignation, or Adjustment with contentment Phase: This phase occurs when couples find themselves stuck in a loop of similar problems and turbulent times in their relationship become the new normal. The existing data suggests that more than 40% of marriages end at this stage while the rest of them choose to continue with their marriages either with resignation as they feel they cannot find anyone else or they learn to become content in the company of their partners.
Keeping in mind the various phases we are likely to experience in a relationship, Dr. Prerna Kohli offers a variety of services to help couples within each stage of their relationship.
Premarital Counseling: It is during the honeymoon phase of the relationship that most couples decide to make the ultimate commitment of tying the knot. Couples can seek and benefit from premarital counseling at this stage. There is a growing body of evidence that currently suggests that premarital counseling is likely to improve marital satisfaction by 50% and reduce the likelihood of a divorce multifold. More research needs to be conducted on the Indian population. However, if you are aiming for a healthy and successful marriage. Premarital counseling with Dr. Prerna Kohli can help you by answering some questions that are pertinent yet are difficult to ask in any relationship. These questions can be regarding who will take the responsibility of the finances post marriage, understanding each other’s sexual histories or talking about sexual expectations with one another, deciding day to day responsibilities of each partner, addressing the religious differences within a couple, housing and living options after marriage, family planning, parenting styles and much more. This is known to improve intimacy of a relationship and even helps couples feel more secure in each other’s company without judgement.
Marriage Counseling: Once the honeymoon phase ends and you are able to see your partner more clearly. Your relationship experiences an increase in conflicts, you feel misunderstood, or nagged. There is love but marital satisfaction may be low. This is during this stage that couples might have to go through multiple challenges. Commonly seen challenges include:
- Communication difficulty
- Sexual and intimacy issues
- Trust issues
- Infidelity
- Anger and rage
- Substance use and abuse
No couple is immune to these challenges. Couples across age groups and sexual orientations are likely to experience these problems and need assistance with these challenges. During this stage, Dr. Prerna Kohli, helps her clients by creating a safe environment and helping couples communicate better, providing them with conflict management skills and strategies that improve the overall well-being of their relationship. She uses various therapeutic approaches such as the Solution Focused Approach, Emotion Focused Approach or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to make this happen.
Separation and Divorce counseling: There are times that some couples decide to part ways after realizing that their individual differences in the relationship are preventing the success of the relationship. This is essentially the preparation for divorce stage. The main idea is to separate in a dignified manner. In such cases, Dr. Prerna Kohli, facilitates her clients decision making on issues such as asset disposal and distribution after divorce, finances, custody of the children etc. She even provides family therapy at this stage where she helps couples with children in a variety of ways. Children often feel responsible for the divorce or separation of their parents. Dr. Prerna Kohli, creates an atmosphere where she aids children cope with the challenges by reducing their feelings of guilt and even equips them with emotional coping strategies that helps them adjust to the changing nature of the relationship with their parents.
Post-Divorce Counseling: Divorce and separation is fueled with emotions as well as activity. Once the courtroom formalities are over and the couple has been separated, the reality and the emotion from the divorce takes over. Although the decision to part ways may have been logical, it’s only natural to grieve the loss of the relationship. At this stage, Dr. Prerna Kohli helps her clients heal from the hurt they are going through and overcome the emotional low that they experience.
Grief Counseling: Death is inevitable and for some people, they may be undergoing the difficult experience of losing a spouse. Dr. Prerna Kohli helps such clients as well by supporting them through their grief.
In essence, Dr. Prerna Kohli, wears many hats to help you through various stages of marital counseling. Her aim is to help you create a life of contentment and support you in becoming your authentic self.