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What is Stress

First of all, the term stress first coined by Hans Selye in 1936. Furthermore, Stress can be physical or psychological. One side it can psychological perception of pressure and another side bodily response to it. Consequently, Stress can affect your memory as well as your metabolism. Certainly, the intensity of stress may differ according to the situation and person as well because all have different ability to cope with stress and deal with situations.

Due to, stress can be short term or long term. As a result, Short term affect the things to the extent they can recoverable and long term stress may affect in a way that changes may not be recoverable.

Overburdened by Stress?

Certainly, Sometimes we feel overburden of some work which we enjoy otherwise and it can be done easily because it’s in continuation with our other work and we are not able to manage. For example, suppose we need to buy something for our use but one is occupied in the uncompleted assignment, so we will take this thing as overwork otherwise we enjoy going out and buying something.
Certainly, stress can affect psychologically and physiologically as well.

Physiologically Symptoms are

• Headache
• Stomach Upset
• Fatigue
• Restlessness
• Fast heart beat

Psychological Symptoms are

• Anger
• Sadness
• Problem in decision making and concentration
• Memory problem / Forgetfulness
• Feeling of insecurity
Wide ranges of the test are there to diagnose stress. Such as questionnaire, face to face interview, biochemical and physiological tests.

Now the question is how to control stress? Stress can manage by proper scheduling your all personal and professional work. Similarly, if u need to take a break and go for an outing. Finally, most important are to do exercise and have the nutritious diet. Divide your time for every activity appropriately. If possible seek help from any experienced counselor to manage your stress and life.

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Healthy Living Tips: Frequently, I have to counsel my patients on how to live a healthy lifestyle. Given below are the tips that I share with them. My advice and guidance to you would be to follow this lifestyle for about six weeks and then notice the change in your life.

Eat Clean

The most important advantage that you can give to your body is to eat clean food. Eat real, whole foods, this means it is much better to eat a whole mango than a mango ice cream. Eat brain-boosting foods such as almonds. When it comes to the color of your food, think the rainbow colors. The rainbow has multiple colors, and your food should also be multi-colored (naturally) eat yellow mangos, purple brinjals, green cucumbers, and white curd. Make each meal a multi-colored extravaganza. Choose high-quality lean proteins such as daals. Buy chemical free foods, there are shops selling organic food, buy that. Drink at least 2 liters of water daily, the more water you drink the more toxins will be flushed out of your body. And finally, cook at home, eat outside food less and less.

Exercise

Choose something fun to do, if you enjoy cricket or badminton start playing those games. Create a SMART plan for your exercise. A smart plan has the following 5 characteristics: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely. Track your progress, maintain a dairy or use your smartphone to measure the amount you exercise daily. Pick a time that works for you.

Sleep

Get 7-8 hours of sleep daily. Period. Do not compromise on your sleep.

Think Positive

Start your day on a positive note, when you get out of bed in the morning, be happy, say a small prayer and thank God that you are alive. Listen to inspirational music. Focus on your blessings, while you may think that everything is going wrong in your life, that is not true. There are positive things happening daily. Focus on those.

Give more

Verbalize thankfulness, thank God, thank everyone who does something for you. Help some in need, being generous to those who are less fortunate than you will help you live your life healthily.

Love

Embrace supportive relationships, there are people, friends, relatives and others who are supportive of you. Embrace these people. And wean away from unhealthy relationships.

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Fitness Motivation: Everyone dreams and desires to have a fit, muscular body.  The only difference between those who have this body and those who are only dreaming this body is motivation. They need to remember, only they can change their body, nobody can do it for them.  For those who are lacking the motivation of going to the gym, because they are too busy, too tired, or don’t have enough money to join a gym, let me tell that these are just excuses, and they need to get over these excuses.

For those who feel that they don’t have enough money to join a gym: a good jog in the park, followed by push-ups, and some planks doesn’t cost any money!  Those of us who are too tired to exercise: they will be astounded by the increase in energy after exercising. For those who are too busy to exercise: I just have one piece of advice, if you can’t spare 4% ( i.e. one hour) of your day to improving your health, you need to just remember today you are sacrificing your health chasing money, tomorrow you will be sacrificing your money to regain your health. And let me assure you that, that is practically impossible.

So if you are too de-motivated to exercise, here are some of my favorite tips:

Remove those invisible barriers,

That prevent you from going to the gym, nobody at the gym is making fun of you or judging, because you are fat, unfit, or don’t know how to use the fancy equipment. Everyone in the gym is working on improving themselves and not staring at you.

Take a friend along with you to the gym,

Nothing better than a friend to motivate you to get out of bed, and hit the gym. Plus it will give you the confidence to have someone you know with you

Join the gym that you like,

Find a gym either close to you home, or office/college, it shouldn’t be too far out of the way. Find a gym where the staff is friendly and gym trainers helpful. Joining a gym is an investment in your health, and this is not the place to save money on. Save money elsewhere, but not on the gym.

Track your progress,

Download a good app on your phone that allows you to track the distance you run or the amount you lift. Simply exceeding what you did yesterday will motivate you to do better today.

Don’t set extremely ambitious goals

That you will run a marathon, or bench press so much weight, your only goal, should be to better than you did yesterday.

Reward yourself when you do well,

But don’t make the reward a chocolate or a meal out, instead reward yourself with new clothes, trainer lesson, or a new supplement.

Make friends in the gym,

That muscular weight lifter who seems very intimidating most likely is the sweetest, gentlest person who would be more than happy to show you the right techniques

Go online

To youtube and see watch videos of people who have transformed their bodies, learn from their mistakes.

Remember, you won’t get an amazing chiseled body by dreaming about it, but you get it by working for it. It takes 3 months of regular working out for others to notice the change in you. So, don’t wait just go for it!

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Becoming sexier: Ever since the dawn of mankind, men have wanted to appear more appealing so as to be able to attract women. You can call it becoming more attractive, becoming more charming or becoming sexier.  The primal need is to attract a partner of the opposite sex who finds you appealing.

This isn’t a complex process, just 4 simple steps are what differentiate between a sexier and not so sexy man.

Confidence:

A confident man can be seen from a distance, his stance, his gait, and posture set him apart from the crowd. To be confident you need to accept yourself for whom you are. Accept yourself for all your major and minor flaws. Differentiate between arrogance and confidence, arrogance is negative and superficial, something that people put one, confidence is internal and positive and exudes itself.

Grooming and Hygiene:

Bath, shower frequently, clip your nails, keep your hands clean, a nice hair cut and a shaved or trim beard is essential. Use a deodorant, just enough, don’t overdo it. Brush your teeth twice a day, use dental floss. Nothing is more charming than white shiny teeth when you smile. Wash your face daily and have fresh glowing skin. Pluck that uni-brow and have two distinct eyebrows! Use cologne daily but sparingly. If you can smell your own cologne you have overused it.

Conversation:

Learn to converse, if you are shy about conversing; rehearse what you would like to speak about. Pick up a couple of conversation starters on latest books, movies, or other current topics. Keep watching her body language to check if she is engaged in listening to what you are saying, if not, or switch topics quickly.

Good Humor:

Every woman appreciates a man with a good sense of humor, practice a couple of jokes, and keep a repertoire of jokes in your memory ready. Women love funny guys!  Women like humor, social tact, and sexiness.

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Becoming Handsome – There’s a handsome guy hiding inside every man’s body.

I recently had an extremely successful young man, come for counseling. He was a typical overachiever, a graduate of a top engineering college, and MBA from a top university and having a high paying job, but feeling unsuccessful because of his looks. I am sharing with you the advice I gave him.

Handsomeness can be increased dramatically in almost all men by doing at least one of:

Haircut:

Grow your hair a little longer in length than usual, and then go for the most expensive haircut you can afford, try going on a weekday when the barber isn’t so busy. Treat the barber like a consultant, talk to him, carry some hair style photos on your phone, and spend some time discussing the pros and cons with him. This is also a good time to indulge yourself in a shampoo, blow dry, a pedicure and a manicure along with a facial.

Skincare:

Nothing more important than to look after your skin, drink lots and lots of water, and daily use a moisturizer along with sun block when you step out in the sun.

New wardrobe:

Update your wardrobe, next time you go shopping, buy quality, and premium clothes, treat the sales staff as guides on what suits you and what doesn’t. Also invest in a good watch, and expensive shoes.

Lose weight:

If you are above your ideal body weight, consider losing weight, it pays to go to a professional dietician and learning how to do it correctly.

Build muscle:

Fit and muscular men are not handsome!

Increase confidence:

“Low self-confidence isn’t a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered–just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better.” –Barrie Davenport

The last one, i.e. increase confidence is the most powerful one. If you are just a normal “ugly guy” you can 100% with some effort to improve your looks dramatically. Other people tend to treat you as well as you treat yourself, so learn to treat yourself well.

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All images are courtsey Pixabay

Mothers Love: Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.

Things your mother never told you:

•You made her cry..a lot:

Every time you hurt, she hurt, when you didn’t fare well in school or got into fights in the playground, she would hurt and cry. But she hid her tears so that you wouldn’t see her tears as a sign of her weakness. She wanted to remain strong for you.

• She wanted that last piece of cake:

She endlessly sacrificed her wants her desires and her needs for you. She wanted that symbolic last piece of cake but gave it to you so that your needs came before hers.

• It hurts:

Being a mother hurts, every cruel remark you, every time you refused to eat the meal she cooked, it hurt her.

• She was always afraid:

She was afraid when you stepped out of the house, till the moment you re-entered the house. As long as you were under her protected sight, you were safe. At any moment she would sacrifice her life to protect you.

• She knows that she is not perfect:

She knows that she has flaws and you didn’t need to remind her. She is working on fixing them. To you, your mother may not be perfect, but she is continuously striving to improve herself.

• She watched you as slept:

Even as you grew older she watched you sleep. The systematic rhythm of your breathing while you slept, gave her confidence that you were safe and secure.

• She carried you a longer than nine months:

She may have carried you only for 9 months in her womb, but she carried you much longer in her heart.

• She put you first:

She has always cherished you and put you first before herself

• She would do it again:

Despite the stress of nourishing you in her womb, the pain of childbirth and the effort of raising you. She would do it again and again. Never doubt that.

The law of the universe is that a woman can’t become a mother without a man, so the most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

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It is a well-known fact that attractive people earn more, are more successful, have more friends, and have more of the better things in life. Fortunately becoming more attractive is a learned activity, and anyone and everyone can become more attractive. There is a difference between becoming more attractive and more beautiful for women and more handsome for men. While becoming more beautiful or handsome is also possible that is a topic for a future blog. This blog is focussed on becoming more attractive.

For a person to be considered attractive it isn’t just about the person’s physical appearance, but it is about increasing your confidence level, creating your own persona and style and to look after your grooming and how you appear.

To be more attractive is simple, and you need to do the following 3 things only:

 Have a Good Personality:

To have a personality that is attractive to other people, you need to be more confident, and more relaxed. Stop living in the past or the future live in the present moment. Improve your listening skills, people talking to you should feel that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say, and be honest and respectful to what they have to say. Share your own passions and interests with others, and constantly do different things that enrich your life. Enrich your life with new experiences whether it is bungee jumping or learning to bake a cake. You need to be true to yourself, and honest about whom you are, and never change yourself to meet someone else’s expectations.

 You can boost your physical Attractiveness:

First, you need to realize that your physical appearance is just a small portion of your overall attractiveness. If you are overweight, lose some weight, if you are underweight then gain some weight. If you are a female, wear makeup, if you are a male, groom yourself, shave, look after your skin. Learn how to modulate your voice. How you sound makes you very attractive, you can learn to modulate your voice.

 Learn to take care of yourself:

Don’t be harsh on yourself for your past mistakes. Learn to love yourself and be kind to yourself. Improve your fitness levels, make daily exercise a regime. Drink plenty of water each day, it will rejuvenate your skin and bring a nice glow to it, and don’t forget to sleep 7-8 hours daily, and eat healthy nutritious foods, they will bring a glow to your skin. One of the best-kept secrets of attractiveness is a good smile, look after your teeth, and practice smiling in front of a mirror. Just like bodybuilders build their biceps, attractive people train their facial muscles to give that perfect smile. And last but not least, look after your hair, good healthy shiny hair couple with an excellent haircut add quantum to your attractiveness quotient.

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Positive Mind Benefits: It is important to train your mind to be positive. The benefits of a positive mind are plenty, as Shiva Khera rightly said “Your positive action combined with positive thinking results in success”, and eventually all of us are seeking success. Whether the success we are seeking is in our job, our relationship or bank balance, being positive helps us achieve this success.

Surprisingly being positive is a learned behavior, just as we learn to drive a car, cook food, or speak a foreign language we can learn to be positive. Given below are my tips on achieving a positive mind, and hence reap the benefits of a positive mind.

Write 3 positive things daily:

On your bedside keep a diary and without fail before falling asleep write three positive things that happened today. These need not be momentous positive things but could be minor positive things such s a delicious cup of hot tea, just when you needed it. Or getting the metro, bus, or auto without waiting for long. Whatever positive happened today, write it down in your diary. Not only will you feel good recalling what happened today, but on certain days you will enjoy reading these.

Daily appreciate someone:

This is my favorite, on a daily basis genuinely appreciate someone who has done something nice. You need to appreciate someone’s thoughtfulness. Start out by doing this at least once a day, and going forward do this multiple times each day.

One act of kindness daily:

Do a small minor act of kindness daily, it could be as simple as giving a candy bar to a child. But do something that brings a smile to someone’s face.

Live in the present:

On the other hand, don’t live in the past or in the future. Live just now. As Buddha said Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. If you have a problem doing this, wear a rubber band on your wrist, every time you feel that your mind is straying into the future or the past, snap this rubber band hard!

In conclusion, on this journey of training to see the good in all things, you will notice that once you replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts, you will start seeing positive results. This is the law of attraction.

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“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”~ Lao Tzu.

Lao Tzu, the Chinese Philosopher several centuries ago so appropriately described Expressing love.

I am sharing with you 10 ways to express your love:

Listen without interrupting: When someone you love is talking, do not interrupt them; allow them to finish what they are saying. Listen to them even if you don’t agree with what they are saying.

Speak without accusing: When you speak, don’t accuse the other person, a diversity of opinion is a welcome trait.

Give without sparing: Give your loved one, everything you have, your time, your love, your attention, give without holding back.

Pray without ceasing: Pray, pray alone, pray together, pray to God for the well-being, and success of your loved ones.

Answer without arguing: When your loved one asks you a question, answering without arguing, just because it is a different opinion from your mindset, doesn’t meet that you have to argue and disagree.

Share without pretending: Share with your loved one without holding back, share everything you have with your loved one.

Enjoy without complaining: God has given you plenty, a home, food on the table, a bed to sleep on, enjoy what you have without complaining.

Trust without wavering: Trust that your loved ones will look after you, that they have your best interests in their mind. Trust without wavering, and your trust will be rewarded.

Forgive without punishing: Every human being will make a mistake, you need to learn to forgive without punishing.

Promise without forgetting: When you make a promise, don’t forget, a promise that is broken or not fulfilled is a breach of trust.

For all human beings there is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.

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If You Need Psychologist click here 

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About Dr. Prerna Kohli

Most of all, Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you. Yet it’s not the same as a professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”

Most noteworthy, she is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.

Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. Thefore, she offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness, and Inner Peace. As a result, she is dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others. Consequently, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with a solid understanding. Most of all, she creates a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.

In conclusion, Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India. With over 20 years of experience and has been providing families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.