BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
Disciplining Children
Everyone of us has encountered parents with young children who misbehave in public places. At restaurants, these children are running around yelling and screaming and generally disturbing other guests. In Malls, and Movie Theaters, we constantly see these children behaving unruly and acting hyperactive. These children have two types of parents, the first are those who can’t handle their offspring and the other type of parents are those who are indifferent to the mayhem their children are creating.
In civilized society it is important for parents to raise children who are well behaved and function appropriately in public.
Below are my seven favorite tips to parents for disciplining children:
Reward Good Behavior:
Positive reinforcement is much better than negative. Reward good behavior. The good behavior reward needs to commensurate the action. Big deeds should get big rewards, while a small action such as picking up their toys or cleaning their room (things which are their responsibilities) should be recognized with “good job”.
Be clear about rules:
To make it easy for your child to follow you rules, be clear about them. There should be no ambiguity or flexibility about the rules, if you child has to change her clothes after school, before being served lunch, ensure that this rule is followed on a daily basis. If you son can’t play video games unless his homework is completed, then the rule needs to be followed.
Neutralize Arguments:
When having an argument with the child, don’t clam up, instead neutralize the argument by agreeing with them, and taking the action that you wish to take.
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When you child misbehaves, don’t react immediately. Tell them that their actions weren’t appropriate, and that you need to decide on the punishment. Take a reasonable amount of time to calm yourself, discuss with the child what they have done is wrong, and then deliver reasonable and appropriate punishment
Be consistent about rules:
Between both the parents, and other family members there needs to be consistency regarding the rules. One parent can’t be seen as permitting unacceptable behavior.
Model Good Behavior:
Children will copy your behavior, if in restaurants you are loud, and rude to the waiters, your children will follow your lead.
Turn No into Yes:
When a child asks for a treat, instead of saying no, say yes with a task that they have to do. For example if your child says, can I have a chocolate, instead of saying No, say Yes you can have a chocolate after you have packed your school bag for tomorrow.
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counselling on being happy.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
10 Motivational Tips for Students
It is the season of examinations, school and college students and their families are preparing for this annual ritual. While exams are temporary albeit important for students; it is more important for students to focus on the big picture. Below are my 10 favorite tips of students, encouraging and motivating them to look at the larger canvas.
Set Your Goals:
Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible. Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.
Plan Everything:
The biggest competition is you. You are not looking to follow others or pull them down. You should be planning to test your own boundaries. Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning, and focused effort.
Focus on the End Game:
Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.
Reward Yourself with spending time with loved ones:
Spending time with friends and family is a great way of enjoying life. It can also be a real bonding opportunity. Helping your friend is just as rewarding as helping yourself.
Remember your Strengths:
Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. Focus on your strengths and not your weaknesses; there are plenty of others who will highlight your weaknesses to you.
Acknowledge and Work on your Weaknesses’:
Pretension is a poor joke that you play on yourself. Snap out of it. Recognize your strengths, work on your weaknesses. Real achievement is appreciating and liking the person you see in the in the mirror every morning.
Look After Your Mental Health:
Self-esteem is as important to your well-being as legs are to a table. It is essential for physical and mental health and for happiness. Don’t let your self esteem dip.
Dream of the Future:
Remember that the dreams of the future are better than the history of the past. You can do nothing to go back in to the past to fix a problem, but you can certainly work in the present to improve your future.
Be Present In the Moment:
As Buddha said do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, and simply concentrate the mind on the present moment. Hence, your work on your present your future will be bright.
Believe in Yourself:
Keep your dreams alive. Also, understand, to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself. Thus, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Hence, remember all things are possible for those who believe in themselves. Thus, you are your own biggest coach and cheerleader.
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counselling on being happy.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
Things Every Child Needs to Hear
First of all, raising a child isn’t easy, and there are Things Every Child Needs to Hear. Unfortunately, no manual exists on how to raise your child well. And for most parents, it is a “learning on the job”. Furthermore, most parents promise not to make the same mistakes that their parents made in raising them. Rather, they slip into the same mold.
One of the most important aspects of parenting is to have an open and honest communication with your children.
Given below are 7 Things Every Child Needs to Hear from his or her parents:
I Love You:
First of all, you as the parent need to frequently reinforce to your child that you love them unconditionally and that you are always there for them.
I am Proud of You:
Furthermore, your child should know and believe that you are proud of them, and their achievements, each child is different, each child is special, express the pride that you have towards your child
I am Sorry:
In addition, never be ashamed to apologize to your child, there will be many times when you miss a special occasion, a birthday, an event in school or something else where you have erred. There is no shame in apologizing to your child when you are at fault.
I Forgive You:
Most of all, children will make both big and small mistakes, in fact, all human beings make mistakes, forgive your child when they have made a mistake, strengthen your relationship with your child and move on
I am listening:
Especially relevant is listening, which is an art. It’s important to listen to your child, their stories, their aspirations, and their dreams. Switch off that phone, turn off your laptop and listen to them
This is Your Responsibility:
Most of all, give your children responsibility, help them grow to be responsible adults, give them age-appropriate responsibilities
You have got what it Takes:
Finally, repeated reinforce to your child that they have everything within them to succeed at whatever they decide to do
In conclusion, at the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents; you need to be involved in your child’s life. Especially relevant to remember it is easier to build strong children than to repair broken adults.
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Most of all, Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you. Furthermore it’s not the same as a professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
Most noteworthy, she is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. Thefore, she offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness, and Inner Peace. As a result, she is dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others. Consequently, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with a solid understanding. Most of all, she creates a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
In conclusion, Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India. With over 20 years of experience and has been providing families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
Raising Teenagers
One of the most profound pieces I have recently read about Raising Teenagers is:
Teenagers Learn What They Live!
If teenagers live with pressure, they learn to be stressed,
If teenagers live with failure, they learn to give up,
If teenagers live with rejection, they learn to feel lost,
If teenagers live with too many rules, they learn to get around them,
If teenagers live with too few rules, they learn to ignore the needs of others,
If teenagers live with broken promises, they learn to be disappointed,
If teenagers live with respect, they learn to honour others,
If teenagers live with trust, they learn to tell the truth,
If teenagers live with openness, they learn to discover themselves,
If teenagers live with natural consequences, they learn to be accountable,
If teenagers live with responsibility, they learn to be self-reliant,
If teenagers live with healthy habits, they learn to be kind to their bodies,
If teenagers live with support, they learn to feel good about themselves,
If teenagers live with creativity, they learn to share who they are,
If teenagers live with caring attention, they learn how to love,
If teenagers live with positive expectations, they learn to help build a better world.
In today’s complex world raising a teenager is far tougher than previous generations. Earlier generations taught teenagers not to question the authority of the parents. Hence, today teenagers will question the authority of the parent at each step.
Today parenting, especially when raising teenagers; is parenting by example. Thus, your teenager will follow what you do, and not what you tell them to do.
As a parent and a Psychologist who has counselled hundreds if not thousands of families in my career, I am sharing my seven recommendations for a healthy along with enriching relationship with your teenager:
Love them fiercely:
Love everything about them, the good grades, the foolish antics, their crushes, their heartbreaks, their ambitions, their goals, and also their dreams.
Listen and pay attention:
Pay attention to them, listen to what they have to say. Thus, put down your phone, shut down your laptop, hear them speak respectfully.
Say Yes more than No:
Encourage their dreams, but don’t be the person who is saying No. You can’t become a Professional Scuba Diver, or no, you aren’t capable of this. Be the “Yes” in their life. Thus, Support their dreams.
Say NO often:
Also, say no often enough to protect them from things that can harm them. Including, Friends and influences who will encourage them to drink and do drugs, indulge in unsafe sex or participate in any other acceptable activity.
Feed Them Well:
Also, this is the time when the foundation of their lifelong health is being laid. Hence, teach them to eat healthily, to eat nutritious food, and to build a healthy foundation. In conclusion, teach them about good nutrition.
Don’t sweat the small stuff:
Don’t worry about their dirty rooms or messy closets (unless it is becoming a health hazard). In the first place, listen to them, ask them how their day was, focus on the big stuff, and don’t waste your time on the little stuff.
Stand Back, and Enjoy the Magic:
Observe your teenager, if you have raised them well, they will be blooming into amazing adults. They have so much love, excitement and joy for life in them, allow them to experiment and become whom so ever they dream of becoming.
In conclusion, don’t forget that your teenagers are the greatest gift God has given you.
More About Dr. Prerna Kohli.
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. Also, She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counselling on being happy.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
New Year Resolutions
A lot of people make New Year Resolutions. Hence, it is estimated that almost 40% of the population makes resolutions at the beginning of the year. But, the question is how many of us adhere to our resolutions for the entire year? Unfortunately not too many of us have the willpower or ability to carry out our new year resolutions for the full year.
Some of the top New Year Resolutions:
Improve our fitness. Exercise more, eat healthier food, lose some weight, drink lesser alcohol, stop smoking etc.
Improve our state of mind. Thinking positively, enjoying our life, laughing more
Improve our money situation. Save more money, make more investments, spend wisely
Improve our career. Find a better job, become an entrepreneur, work harder at the current job
Improve our education. Especially for students, a promise to study harder
Improve our self. Reduce stress, become more positive, more organize, watch less TV
Travel
Help others by volunteering or doing more charity
Spend more time with loved ones as-well-as, family
Pray more, meditate, become more spiritual
Spend less time on Facebook, Instagram, and other social media
But, unfortunately, most of us break our New Year Resolutions within the first week itself. Thus, almost all of us break all our resolutions within the month of January itself.
To be more successful in following our resolutions for the entire year, follow these simple steps
Don’t make more than 3 resolutions, ideally one or two resolutions are more than enough
Remind yourself of your New Year Resolutions on a daily basis
In conclusion, a simple trick is to write / print your resolution on a piece of paper and laminate this paper and keep it somewhere, where you will see it daily, such as on your bedside. Remind yourself daily of your resolutions. Therefore, the key is if you follow your resolution for the first forty days, the balance 325 days of the year will be easy. So follow your resolution religiously from January 1st to February 10th (40 days) and the rest of the year will take care of itself.
Wishing you and your loved one a Happy 2017. Learn more about Dr. Kohli
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counselling on being happy.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
Treatments for Depression
Fortunately there is treatment for Depression, unfortunately there isn’t one set formula which is applicable for all of those who suffer from depression. The path for recover from depression varies for each individual. Treatments for Depression are available with experienced professional psychologists.
First of all, we need to know what is depression? In a layman’s terms, depression is a strong feeling of helplessness, due to which a person is not able to function normally at home or at work. Technically speaking depression is when a person feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, angry, ashamed or restless. They may lose interest in activities that were once pleasurable, experience loss of appetite or overeating, have problems concentrating, remembering details or making decisions, experience relationship difficulties and may contemplate, attempt or commit suicide. Insomnia, excessive sleeping, fatigue, aches, pains, digestive problems or reduced energy may also be present.
As a result, the treatment for Depression can be broadly classified into two types i.e. Medical treatments or psychological treatments.
Medical Treatments:
In my opinion medical treatments which primarily are anti depression pills and tablets should be a last resort for the patient, and only after all psychological treatment options have been exhausted. As a result, anti depressant medications alter the chemical balance of the body, and have known side effects. Consequently, these should be administered under the guidance of a qualified and experienced psychiatrist and should always be coupled counseling by a an experienced psychologist.
Psychological Treatments:
Talk therapy help you change your mind and thinking processes to re-calibrate your ability to deal with the problems and concerns of day to day life. These Psychological treatments will help your recognize those thoughts and actions which are detrimental to your well-being and to remove them from your life.
The key Psychological Treatments are as follows:
Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT):
CBT effectively shifts your mind away from negative and un-helping thinking toward a positive, realistic, problem-solving mindset.
Interpersonal therapy (IPT):
When people are facing depression due to problems in relationships. Thus, IPT equips the patient on identifying and resolving those problems in relationships which lead to depression.
Behavior therapy:
It Helps in modifying behaviour to focus on activities that are rewarding, pleasant and satisfying. Thus, steering away from the behaviour that was causing depression.
Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT):
MBCT is a psychological therapy which involves mindfulness meditation. Thus, the patient is taught to use meditation as a form of relaxation and a tool for moving away from those trigger points that lead to depression.
In conclusion, an experienced psychologist will transparently use some or all of these Psychological Therapies to help their patients on the road to recovery.
Learn more about Dr. Kohli
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counselling on being happy.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
Depression is curable!
Frequently, I am asked if there is any cure for depression without the intervention of a doctor. Fortunately, depression is curable. In case the individual is suffering from a mild case of depression they can take steps to address it themselves. Addressing you depression by yourself requires a lot of will power and mental strength.
What is depression? In a layman’s terms, depression is a strong feeling of helplessness, due to which a person is not able to function normally at home or at work. Technically speaking depression is when a person feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, angry, ashamed or restless. They may lose interest in activities that were once pleasurable, experience loss of appetite or overeating, have problems concentrating, remembering details or making decisions, experience relationship difficulties and may contemplate, attempt or commit suicide. Insomnia, excessive sleeping, fatigue, aches, pains, digestive problems or reduced energy may also be present.
Here are a few techniques to work on your path to healing yourself of depression:
Start a routine: Make it a habit to wake up, and go to bed on the same time, make a schedule and stick to it
Set Goals: Start out be setting simple goals and achieving them. A goal could be to cook a favorite dish, go for a walk, or to take your bath on time
Exercise: Going for a walk, going to the gym, or doing stretching exercises or yoga on a regular basis
Eat Healthy: Remove junk food, soft drinks and processed foods from your diet, introduce fresh and unprocessed foods into your diet
Get enough Sleep: If you body requires7- 8 hours of sleep daily, ensure that you do so
Take on Responsibilities: Be response for someone or something, for example taking the family pet for a walk, watering the plants etc
Eradicate Negative thoughts: Whenever you mind wanders towards negative thoughts, consciously change your thoughts
Do something New: Learn something new, such as salsa dancing, painting, playing an instrument, or singing
Have Fun: Furthermore, plan a fun activity, go shopping, go to watch a movie, go and visit a friend or family member
Consult an Experienced Psychologist: Visit a professional, they will be able to guide you on what your can do, and advise you if you need medication such as antidepressant pills.
Learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counselling on being happy.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
Common Causes of Depression
Depression is a serious but common illness that impacts the way you feel, how you think and how you behave. Rather, the good news is that depression is curable, and in most likelihood it can be treated without medication. Counseling with a qualified psychologist, will empower you with behavior modification techniques to end depression.
Furthermore, it causes you to have a lack of interest in hobbies and activities that you previously enjoyed. Depression leaves you with a feeling of sadness and morose. In addition, it can result in physical and emotional problems that can affect the way you function in life, whether at work or at home and how you interact with people.
First of all, it is especially relevant to note that some of the common causes of depression are as follows:
Seasonal changes: Change in the weather, and the season results in some individuals feeling depressed
Smoking: Surprisingly smoking is a chicken and egg story, depressed people smoke cigarettes and smoking cigarettes causes more despondency
Thyroid disease: Hypothyroidism, i.e. the reduced production of the thyroid hormone can lead to gloominess, fortunately a quick blood test can rule this out, and a course of medicine from your doctor can relieve these symptoms
Social Media Overload: Too much facebook and other forms of social media can cause depression
Location Depression: Where you live, can be a cause of depression
Sibling / family / relationship problems: Strained relationships with siblings, parents and spouse etc can also lead to depression
Medication: Certain medication such as birth control pills etc., can result in despondency, any hormone impacting medication can also result in depression
In conclusion, if you or anyone you love is suffering from depression, please do not attempt to treat it yourself, but consult an experienced psychologist who will guide you on the best course of action, consequently, therefore if required your psychologist will refer you to a medical doctor for anti depression medication as a last recourse.
More about Dr. Prerna Kohli
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counselling on being happy.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
Prayers For Happiness
When I think of a group prayer the first image that comes to my mind is of Muslim men kneeling with their foreheads touching the ground. Prayers need not be in a group they can be your one-on-one conversation with God. A prayer need not be done in a temple or church, but can be done anywhere, such as in a car, on the bus, or when an airplane is taking off or even waiting outside the doctor’s office.
Praying in Gratitude
Frequently people pray to ask God for favors, please help me find my keys, a good job and a house, a life partner, or a clean chit from the doctor. Every one of us has indulged in asking God, but if a thought to consider is how frequently have you prayed to God to thank him for what you have or what you have received? You pray hoping to get that great job at a much higher salary, but how frequently do you thank God when you get that job? Did you get that job from Divine intervention or do you keep the full credit with yourself?
Frequently a prayer is a dialog with God, your conversation with Him, similar to a conversation you would have with a friend, sharing your concerns, unburdening your load, and having a chat with him as if he was your buddy.
Prayers: Food for the Soul
In 2008 Robbins, Francis, and Edwards did a research on 131 college students in Wales (UK). The research was on the correlation between prayer frequency and happiness. The conclusion of their study was “The data demonstrated an apparent simple correlation between prayer and happiness. At face value, this finding is consistent with the view that prayer promotes a more positive attitude toward life. It enhances personal happiness. “In another word, someone who prays regularly is happier than someone who pray’s infrequently or not at all.
There is an important question on the frequency of prayers. A well-known fact is that prayer is as important for the soul as food is for the body. How much or how frequently you eat is best known to you both underfeeding and overfeeding of food is unhealthy as is prayer.
Prayers and Spiritual Awakening
As a guest at a Christian family’s house, I felt spiritually awakened when the family invited me to join them in blessing the meal and thanking God for his abundance. Many years later, I infrequently eat without a prayer. My personal adaptation of a Catholic prayer is “Bless us God, and these gifts, which we are about to receive, from your bounty through you, my God. Amen.”
Prayers and Happiness – Dr. Prerna Kohli, India’s Topmost Psychologist
To learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli click here
All images courtesy Pixabay
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you, but it’s not the same as a professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness, and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with a solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counseling on being happy.
BY: Dr. Prerna Kohli
Forgiveness Counseling allows one to live happier
The book “A course in Miracles” devotes an entire lesson on forgiveness. A Course in Miracles is one of the finest, if not the finest book on spirituality in recent times from the Western world. Forgiveness is the key to happiness. Forgiveness has been over the centuries considered to be a spiritual concept, taught in all the holy books, whether the Bible, the Bhagwad Gita or the Holy Qur’n.
In the Bible, it is said
“if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
In the Bhagwad Gita Vidura said:
” Forgiveness is a virtue of the weak, and an ornament of the strong“, he continues on to say “Turn your attention to forgiveness, sincerity, kindness, simplicity, truth” to attain happiness.
In the Holy Qur’n it is said
“whosoever forgives and makes amends, his reward is Allah” ( Qur’an 42:40). If you pardon [their faults], and forbear, and forgive- then, behold, Allah is Forgiving, [and] Merciful. Qur’an 64:14.
Today Forgiveness is considered to be a psychological concept. Forgiveness is “not condoning, excusing or forgetting what happened,” rather it is the decrease or elimination of “resentment or anger toward an offender,” which is replaced by “more positive feelings, thoughts, and behaviors” (Journal of Counseling and Development, 2008: Validating the Developmental Pathway of Forgiveness by Jeanette Knutson, Robert Enright, and Benjamin Garbers.)
Forgiveness is about self-interest because not forgiving is like consuming poison so that the other person suffers. Thus, forgiveness is about releasing your mind and emotions. The unforgiving mind is stuck in despair, hence for your own mental health and well-being, you need to forgive. Hence, to achieve happiness you need to forgive. To hold resentment is to allow someone else to live in your mind for free, to release this resentment you need to forgive.
Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California, Riverside calls forgiveness “a shift in thinking” toward someone who has wronged you, “such that your desire to harm that person has decreased and your desire to do him good (or to benefit your relationship) has increased. Forgiveness, at a minimum, is a decision to let go of the desire for revenge and ill-will toward the person who wronged you.”
How do you decide if someone needs to be forgiven? The litmus test is, if you have a desire to seek revenge from some for the harm that they have done to you, then you need to forgive them.
